To care or not to care?

[misterbean]

Dear Bill

You do not have to apologise to me or anyone else for being angry, though I do hear your discomfort in being so. When I hear you speak of how, for want of recognition by others, you have turned your isolation, powerlessness and anger upon yourself, I find myself pleased for you (though pleasure seems a wierd thing to have in hearing of your distress) that you are able to focus anger elsewhere.

Once, I was moved by the words of Ahab in Moby Dick and can still vividly recall them. They perfectly described what I was (and to an extent still am) doing to myself -

'... and be the white whale agent, or be the white whale principal, I will wreak my hate upon him.'

Of course, old Ahab was consumed by his whale. I get the idea that you have decided that this will not be your fate, at least not without a fight.

Stay sharp, shipmate.

Martin

[misterbean]

... and when Ahab speaks of hate, I do not see this as being the opposite of love. For me, the opposite of love is no love. I see hate to be a corrosive mixture of fear, anger, frustration and shame and it is with this mixture that I sometimes daub myself or others with. Now that's what I call negative.

Martin

[Bill]

Kevin -
I don't think I've ever been paid such a compliment! Thank you!

We all have inner strength. Anxiety just masks it from us by filling our minds with negative feelings and emotions, pressures and worries but once we break free of its grip, we can see more than just the boulder that keeps us in the dark.

I turned in on myself. I saw no hope but I realised I had a passion for people and their suffering and so I became determined to reach out to show we're not alone and that there is Always Hope.

If we give up, all hope is lost and what a terrible waste that is when an anxiety sufferer has so much to offer to this world. Who else is more caring and considerate to others?

My strength comes from my hurt. I don't feel hate but my anger comes from compassion because "good" people Should be cared about and that's why I'm here because I doubt any of you realise just how special you are and how much you give to others through your admirable qualities.

We always focus on what we think is the bad in us but we can never see the good. If an anxiety sufferer isn't worth caring about then No one is because No one cares more about others than an anxiety sufferer and it's about time the world woke up to that fact and started to follow your example! Never beat yourself up or feel ashamed for what you ARE because there are no finer examples of humanity!


This is in the poetry section but I feel worth copying to here....


Compassion

Compassion; a word that means so much yet used so little,
Why has it left the world and abandoned those who feel ill?
Where is the understanding; basic rules that we have lost?
Do we carry too much hurt to help those who need it most?

Should we turn our back and ignore others,
And not try to listen with sensitivity to their troubles?
When we need help, where is it to be found
And when we find it; do they really understand?

And what will this world, the people be like?
The years ahead, will they be bright?
Should people not show they care?
For expressing concern has become too rare?
But while there is hope, I believe not all is lost,
And to show compassion is still a worthy cost!

[misterbean]

Yes, I think I see better what you mean, especially the struggle to turn compassion and caring in on oneself.

Want a quote? It was written by Martin Buber in 1957 and I think you will find his meanings familiar to you - He uses the word confirmation in a similar way to your use of compassion and I don't think that they are too far apart -

' In human society, at all its levels, persons confirm one another in a practical way, to some extent or other, in their personal qualities and capacities, and a society may be termed human in the measure to which its members confirm one another.

The basis of man's life with man is twofold, and it is one - the wish of every man to be confirmed as what he is, even as what he can become, by men; and the innate capacity in man to confirm his fellow-men in this way. That this capacity lies so immesurably fallow constitutes the real weakness a nd questionableness of the human race: actual humanity exists only where this capacity unfolds. On the other hand, of course, an empty claim for confirmation, without devotion for being and becoming, again and again mars the truth of the life between man and man.

Men need, and it is granted to them, to confirm one another in their individual being by means of genuine meetings: but beyond this they need, and it is granted to them, to see the truth, which the soul gains by its struggle, light up to the others, the brothers, in a different way, and even so be confirmed.'

Alright, so women hardly get a mensh, and truth has a nasty habit of changing, and his last sentence I can only understand in little, emotional, bursts, but can you see any similarity with what you are struggling with?

Martin

[Bill]

I "think" what you're saying is we need to show compassion for ourselves as well as others because that's the basis of humanity?

Speaking more about compassion, in todays world I feel "profit" means more than "compassion" but whereas profit is the main concern of big business, compassion is often the main concern of the "little people".

I know I refer to it alot but the film "It's a wonderful life" shows that compassion is more important than profit because profit makes a few people rich but care and compassion saves many lives. It's just a pity that the 2 worlds of reality can't merge more often but that would be utopia!