Quote Originally Posted by Bentjillyb View Post
I have started taking citralopram for the second time after a relapse.
to NMP,

I went back to Doctor and he and my therapist agreed I might have taken away my support too soon and I am now 2 weeks in to taking 10 mg again.
Antidepressants (ADs) aren't a crutch anymore than epilepsy meds are for seizures. Anxiety disorders (and depression) are the emotional manifestations of a physical brain disorder caused by high brain stress hormone levels atrophying parts of the brain's two hippocampal regions. Both ADs and cognitive/behavioural (CBT, REBT, etc) and mindfulness therapies work by stimulating the growth of replacement cells. They provide the therapeutic response, not the meds, or therapy.

But the side effects are as bad as before and I have been having rolling panic attacks and a terror of going to bed. I know this will pass but the turmoil in my over thinking mind is making me feel crazy. Is it possible it could be as long again before I begin to feel levelled out?
Probably. It typically takes 4-12 weeks for ADs to kick-in. It takes about 7 weeks for brain cells to bud, grow and fully mature, though improvement may begin earlier.

Another issue is that it may taken longer for citalopram to kick-in than the first time and the initial side-effects may be more severe and/or different. You might also need to take a higher dose to get the same response as the first time.

The doctor has given me anti anxiety meds to at least get me some sleep, last night they didn’t work. I also hate the thought of becoming dependant.
Is the "anti anxiety med" one of the benzodiazepines (BZDs)? If so, when taken regularly for some weeks you could become dependent to it. In fact you probably already are to some extent and have been you're entire life as BZDs, particularly diazepam (Valium) and its metabolites, plus lorazepam (Ativan) occur naturally in all foods. You will also develop a dependency to the citalopram and need to wean off it too.

If insomnia is the most concerning side-effect then ask your GP to prescribe a small dose of mirtazapine. It should also ease the initial increased anxiety triggered by the SSRI. While mirtazapine is classed as an AD it is mainly a very sedating antihistamine. Alternating between it and the BZD can reduce the risk of developing dependency to the latter.