HELLO.
I don't have time today to read through all the posts, but glad to see its lively.
Its my diary and here is the present one.
What is good?
Not sure, but then that probably means its working, I don't have MAJOR anxiety. But I'm still abit paranoid.
Sleeping is sometimes great and sometimes awful.
So on the whole its OK.
But I feel, well, NEEDY, like there is a whole in me.
I have been drinking really heavily. And I started smoking again.
BAD.
Worse, because i read this drug can on its own damage your liver and so drinking as well is kiler. Even though I know that I crave drinking and smoking all the time.
I haven't posted because my business is about to go under.
I run a business where I deal with serious people and they have no idea that this is my real life. I put on a front of coolness and strength.
I have been out with clients tonight so I'm a bit tipsy, hence the ramblind nature of this post.
Good points I am not very, very anxiosu and paranoid.
Bad points, i feel a bit low, I can't be bothered to clean my flat. I sleep ALOT during the day. I feel very unsociable.
I spend alot of time on my own.
Sexually I feel low, my sexual life is, well, me and me if that makes sense.
Its all working but I dont have enough desire or confidence to meet anyone new.
As always when you are on a drug, you wish you could come off them because of the down sides.
But I fear that if I come off, anxiety wil come back badly.
So for now, I stay where i am.
60mg.
And hopefully with all the drinking I have not given long term damage.
Hope you are all well, over weekened I will read all the posts.
Much love.
NCP
---------- Post added at 01:36 ---------- Previous post was at 01:34 ----------
Oh, also, some days I sleep for a whole day. And I always feel tired.
That is all. x