So part of my strategy to conquer my health anxiety is to face it down, stop avoiding, get the usual yearly checks etc

End March I had yearly blood tests and BP measurement. BP always tricky for me because I am overweight (but losing - 7 kilos since end Jan) and carry it on my limbs.

The blood test for blood count was slightly out for one value so repeat in a month. Had that done yesterday. Read most often dehydration the cause but that's worry 1

Worry 2 is my BP. On that first visit I think my BP started out very high but came dwn on 2nd and 3rd try as I calmed down (and nurse was great, did nothing to panic me) to 160/100. So was to self monitor 7 days.

That's when the 'fun' starts because I think was even more worried at home because not sure was doing ut right, fit is not great and no medical person to tell me what to do. I got silly numbers 200+. Doc said try 24hr ambulatory but does not fit so went to surgery for reading that night. Scary high. Started on meds.

Prob is I am more wound up than ever when it gets read. I have been 3 times now. Each time it is high and med dose moved up. Also another 2nd med has been added. My heart starts beating hard now 30 mins before I leave the house to go to tge GP In the surgery I am at panic levels. So I can't get a good reading. And yesterday the nurse scared me with all the symptoms i must look out for that would make this an emergency. With HA that's a nightmare because things I would try not worry about or maybe not notice all get my attention.

The other worry now is that one of the causes for the blood test value that was out is heart disease. It was only out by 0.03% in March but my mind is still going there.

So my main problem is I can't get a good BP reading. My Father said that the medical ataff will react to the numbers but I have to remember that I know I was panicking, that it came down to high but more sensible levels that first day (and since I have not had them do 3 reads but not sure i would calm down the same now), and I am on meds and must try to trust that they will work.

I have GP call Tues to discuss as well as increase in meds yesterday. I think my fears are that meds won't work, that I have an underlying disease or that I will end up having loads of tests just because I can't calm down. And, of course, that the high BP will kill me imminently.

Thanks for listening.