Hi everyone....
Life was great.... got hold of my severe anxiety/HA/OCD... Removed myself from nmp as a member for over 6 years as i felt i was strong enough & felt it was time to move on and have a happy positive anxiety free lfe.. i still am very close to some wonderful people i met here those years ago and we all still speak regularyon facebook or by phone. been meds free for a good year or so... tried and tested it all. Mirtazipine/Sertraline/Risperidone/Diazepam/CBT Therapy/Herbal Remedies the bloody lot!!
Then.... 2 weeks ago i started getting itching on the left side of my groin... i thought nothing of it and just had a little scratch... 2 days later i was red raw and had blisters and the pain was absoloute hell
i ended up going to a&e in my halloween nurses uniform ( very embarrassing ) because i couldnt cope with the pain anymore and i was feeling so unwell and run down... like i had the flu... doctor said it was thrush and i felt a right dope and sent me off with some canesten cream... that made it worse!! the pain got worse and my buttocks and down the backs of my legs ached and i was started to get really panicky... all my feelings of how i would feel when i had awul anxiety came rushing back and i had my first panic attack for nearly 2 years which exhausted me...
i went to the doctors the next day and my doctor took one look and said i think you have a fungal infection and took a swab... she put me on fungal tablets and sent me off.... few days past and still i was feeling awful ... another panic attack that i had aids or some awful disease and i demanded at reception in the doctors for someone to please see me.... the thoughts were taking over my life that i was going to die again... i havent had these thoughts for over 2 years and i was distraught... i have a 5 year old little boy and i dont want him to see me in such a state...
my doctor saw me and she took one look at it and said it looks like you have herpes... i burst out crying... mumbled about it being my 30th birthday in 2 weeks and i was going to never get better :(
she prescribed me with 800mg Aciclovir 1 tablet 5x a day and also zovirax cream 5 times a day...
the tablets seem to be working and the blisters have gone down so much... the aching and strange feelings in my legs and bottom are still there and i dont know if this is normal or not :(
I cant do anymore googling ive frightened myself to death again and i can remember clear as day how terriflying Dr Google is !!!! :(
today the doctor called with my swab results and said the previous doctor who took them only sent them off to be tested for fungal and bacterial infections and they came back negative, she said you have to specifically take swabs from one of the blisters and check for herpes which she did not.... so.... im in a state of limbo... do i have herpes? dont i?
i guess what im asking is that has anyone else had these symptoms... i feel quite alone and have gone through the motions of feeling dirty, horrified, how can i ever tell someone...
im still petrified i have a disease and its being missed and im going to end up very sick... ive gone mad and disinfected everything in my house but thats just my ocd gripping hold again ...
feeling pretty down at the moment if im honest i was having such a wonderful and positive time
Thank you for reading all my mumbo jumbo
Carly Lou xx
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