My dad died.

[ShaunRyder]

So we were told that my dad’s EF was only at 15% and he a hearth rhythm which could cause cardiac arrest at any moment and had it for a while. Just researched 15% EF and it is REALLY serious. If they knew this, why did they not tell any of us or atleast my dad? Why were they saying he will make it home knowing full well this could have happened!?

They told us absolutely nothing about how serious all this really was.

[Carnation]

Another thing I keep thinking of is all the arguments we had over the years, or all the stuff we said to each other and never mean in silly little rows.

This is normal.
Everything you are feeling is normal.

As for the diagnosis, I'm not surprised you are angry.
But you were not to know. It wasn't your responsibility.
Whether something could have prevented the final outcome, no one knows. But it's not your fault in any way or form.

[fishman65]

Shaun, I'm so sorry for your loss. As others have said before me, this isn't your fault in any way whatsoever. Some things are just beyond our control, and they will come about no matter what we do.

If it helps, let me tell you the story of my brother. He was 11 years older than me but died in 1999 aged 45. He had complained of a feeling in his chest for around 6 months, but our local hospital could find nothing. So he was transferred to Glenfield Hospital in Leicester and straightaway they found a tumour between his heart and lungs.

We were led to believe his prognosis was good, that he would be left with one lung, but that people can live with just the one. I wanted to visit him before going to Leicester, but he said to wait until he comes out. So I agreed which was a mistake. He died on the operating table, the cancer was more aggressive than they thought and had begun to attack his heart.

What I'm trying to say is there often isn't any rhyme or reason as to how life pans out. It just happens and we have to accept it. He left behind a wife and two young sons aged 15 and 11. It just didn't seem possible and yet there it was.

You are feeling this now, but it will get better and you will come to accept and live with it. Meanwhile, keep posting here buddy, we are listening ok?

[Scissel]

I'm truly sorry for your tragic loss.