Current Situation - Rock Bottom

[LittleLionMan]

That’s probably the best I’ve managed to articulate how I’m feeling actually, so if anyone has any advice, it would be very much appreciated.

[Darksky]

I really do think you need to discuss meds with someone. You can’t feel worse than this. The thing is your anxiety is so high that anything the doctors say to you isn’t going to go in anyway. You need to be bought down in order for the talking stuff to go in.

When is your appointment?

Are simple tasks possible? Like a jigsaw? I find they concentrate the mind without too much effort. Also, although it sounds daft. I have some crayons and adult colouring books. Really effortless and it’s relaxing. Any games you may want to download? Just simple stuff…no sudoku. Just matching stuff or town building. Anything’s worth a try, it really is.

Your family don’t understand and they are probably scared for you. You’re not going insane, it’s just extreme anxiety.

[LittleLionMan]

It’s on the 25th.

I have a few things that I’m still managing to do. I go through the horse racing cards each day, I do crosswords and things on my iPad or put some trash tele on in the background, and simple things like I role my cigarettes. If there’s a really simple job at work I try and do it, but that’s about it, all from my bed. I get up every hour or so to go downstairs and have a cigarette, sometimes taking my iPad with me to keep whatever distraction I’ve got going on, but that’s about all I can manage. At night me and my girlfriend put the same tv show on and text about it, and I lay on an acupressure mat to try and unwind for sleep. I keep trying to up the activity levels, because the more I can get my attention on other things the better really. I’m just hoping my head settles down at some point, it just won’t.

[Darksky]

Why do you keep going back to bed? Once you start that, your safe place becomes smaller and smaller…ie your room.
Would the sofa be better. Just to get out of your room. I know it’s a safe place but when you flip the reality..isn’t it more of a prison?

[LittleLionMan]

When the triggers for this downfall were happening, my family were being vile to me about it, and I just retreated. Then I stayed out of the way because I don’t like my niece and nephew seeing me like this. I spent days playing PlayStation non stop because I couldn’t handle it, to a point where my hands had blisters from the controller and even looking away from the screen made me panic, and now I can’t get back out properly again. I can’t sit down when I go downstairs because I can’t settle as I’m too anxious. When I’m doing anything like showering or eating in a different room I just panic.

This is a big part of the problem.

The whole situation has completely overwhelmed my system, so I’m trying to find a balance now between allowing myself to rest, and trying to step forward.

[Darksky]

Yes I can see you’ve retreated into your room so much it has become your only safe place. But it you’re panicking in your room, what’s the difference in panicking downstairs? Could you not wait till everyone’s out and just sit downstairs with your iPad or something.

Woukd you panic at your girlfriends if you stayed there for a while?

[LittleLionMan]

It’s just become the ‘safe place’ hasn’t it.
Getting out of here as much as possible is my main goal though, along with eating.

I’m agoraphobic as it is, so I wouldn’t be able to go to hers, but if I ever recover from this spell, them moving things forward with her and getting away from my family is the ultimate goal. She’s honestly incredible.

[LittleLionMan]

This message has been deleted by Fishmanpa.
Reason: I don’t have anxiety, but enjoy going on anxiety forums to belittle people and tell them all how easy it is.

[Fishmanpa]

This message has been deleted by Fishmanpa.
Reason: I don’t have anxiety, but enjoy going on anxiety forums to belittle people and tell them all how easy it is.

Let's see..... 1st heart attack due to a blockage in the 'widow maker'. Triple bypass. Veins taken from my leg and put into my chest. Heart surgeon pointing to the sky when asked how I survived. 2nd heart attack and triple stents. Then immediately after, diagnosed with Stage IVa H&N cancer. Lingual and palatine tonsils removed along with 23 additional nodes taken from my neck. 6 weeks of radiation and chemo. 50% chance of survival and reoccurrence. Depression and physical side effects to this day. A daughter that suffers with extreme depression and anxiety and has attempted suicide. So yeah, I don't know about handling mental challenges


Top that off with living paycheck to paycheck, bankruptcy, living off Raman and 'you guess what's in it' frankfurters and battling back from being nearly homeless to where I'm at now. I surely don't know what it's like to struggle and worry. There's a big difference between ridiculing someone and pointing out reality. There's also a big difference between those that fight back and those that sit back and bitch about life challenges on an internet forum.

Thank you for affirming the point I made in your other thread. I truly and sincerely hope you find a way to enjoy your life.

FMP

[LittleLionMan]

I know you’ve had plenty of real life troubles, and like I had said before, I applaud you for how you’ve come through them.

Your replies to me, however, aren’t helpful, they are just intended to ridicule me, and normally when I’m at my lowest. I do fight back, with everything I’ve got, but at the moment it isn’t proving enough, and I’m losing the battle, badly, which is why I just don’t need any more mocking or belittling.