Scary stuff I've handled the heck out of this week

[kyllikki]

I have a win and I am going to put it here so it doesn't set off people in the very specific forum dedicated to it. I follow a Reddit community for benign twitchers, and in the last few days there have been TWO people who have (albeit vaguely and without definite proof -- and both these people have pretty obvious anxiety issues, one of them has even been sectioned before) claimed to have been diagnosed with MND/ALS. That's on top of two other people in that Reddit who were diagnosed earlier this year. The group has about 4k people in it. A lot of more vocal posters proceeded to post in panic.

Using my powers of rational thinking, I did two things: (1) Reminded myself that one in a thousand is still pretty good odds; (2) took my ssri and then leaned back and said "shucks, this is some drama!"

Did it also spike my anxiety? Of COURSE it did. I had a more unsettled weekend than I would have liked, and I have heartburn right now as I type this... but I have done the hand-to-hand combat with my HA-OCD long enough to know that this much is true:

Nobody else's situation means much in relation to my own. Nobody's story is a "talisman" for me.
At the moment, I personally don't feel like I am dying. And while I certainly could grasp for some straws to believe I am -- I've done that before, and it was miserable! So I'm choosing not to do it anymore. Que sera, sera!
Gandalf was right: All we can do is decide what to do with the time that's been given to us (I thinned out my late crop of beets/kale/carrots yesterday and tidied the rest of my flower beds.)

And with that, I go back to doing my early Xmas shopping for myself, because if I buy everything now I can hide it in a closet and have my mum come over and wrap it next month, and then I really WON'T have a clue what I got myself, and that too will be a giant win over the last few years of having to wrap my own stuff because my husband isn't very good. (Please note I use Xmas as an excuse to buy myself basic things like *socks with cute patterns*, *soap that smells nice*, *slightly nicer than usual tea/coffee* and *non-American milk chocolate (because most of ours is awful)* ... so we're not talking fancy things here, just niceties for daily existence!)

Anyway, Thank God for this thread and all of you wonderful people. Really. <3

[BlueIris]

Kylikki, that was awesome, I know how much it must have taken you.

Well done, and don't forget to steal a little of your own Christmas chocolate as an early treat!

[pulisa]

Well done, kylikki...You must also remember that people are at liberty to post anything they want on health-related forums. You have no way of knowing whether these cases were genuine or not but even if they were unfortunate enough to get a medical diagnosis,this has no correlation on your situation. Why would it? If you hadn't read this you would be none the "wiser". I'd never post about a sensitive diagnosis like this on a forum for people trying to manage benign twitching.

it's a great idea to get started on your own personal Christmas shopping now!! What is your favourite chocolate brand? I really love this soap shop in York

https://yorkshiresoap.co.uk/

[kyllikki]

Yes pul, that's exactly what I tell myself!

I am planning a run over to a very good grocer a few towns away to get some Milka this year... for some reason Americans can't manage to make milk chocolate that doesn't have a waxy mouth-feel and wrong melting point. We do dark chocolate just fine (often with real sugar), but the milk's all wrong and usually sweetened with corn syrup. Blech!!

Thanks for the soap recc too, pul, believe it or not this brand has been on my list for over a year as I did try them last time I was in the UK.... but they don't ship internationally!! Ah well. An excuse to travel again soon!

[pulisa]

https://www.neuhauschocolates.com/en_US/home

This Belgian chocolatier is high end of the market..

[NoraB]

Nobody else's situation means much in relation to my own. Nobody's story is a "talisman" for me.

ABSOLUTELY! (It's their story, not yours)

Gandalf was right: All we can do is decide what to do with the time that's been given to us (I thinned out my late crop of beets/kale/carrots yesterday and tidied the rest of my flower beds.)

And that's this moment. That's what any of really have, and in this moment, I am thrilled to read this post, Kylikki.

Nice work!

[BlueIris]

So, not a positive one this time, I'm afraid.

I'm scared I'm backsliding at the moment. I'm picking at my skin, and because money's tight I can't bring myself to buy a can of drink at work without asking my husband's permission. I'm obsessively checking the bank account and silently worried about Mr. Iris' health, plus I'm starting to worry about my own.

In my (vague) defence, it's early September and my work life is chaos (particularly because I'm trying to prove my worth for a raise), but I'm terrified I'm going to slide back to square one.

Can anybody offer any support, please?

[Lolalee1]

Sorry Blue that you are having a blip,can you take a can of drink from home?
I just want to send you a hug and if I was in the UK I would bring you a case of cans.
You will get the raise.

[BlueIris]

Thanks, Lola, means the world to me.

[Carnation]

Do you have a work fridge BI? If not, could you suggest to the person who has the power to grant it? It would be so handy to bring stuff from home and pop in the fridge. Labelled with your name on your goods.
Finances are a big issue at present and it's obviously having an effect on you. I expect there's very little you can cut as well. You also can't live your life feeling guilty about buying a drink or something to eat.
I know you asked for pay hike and I have no doubts you are entitled to it. Realistically that could take some time.
You therefore have to look at other ways to generate income. I know you have your bead making, could you set up an etsy account for selling. Also sell some stuff on ebay. Clothes are making good money on ebay.
I feel you need a little injection of cash now. Maybe chat to hubby about it.
Don't give up. Keep the fight going. And don't keep your feelings in BI.