Tips for dealing with Anxiety and Panic

[tonkaboy]

Michelle,

Thanks for the advice, you really strike a cord with me. I have found that I'm much better when something takes my full attention and imagination - for example a challenging but exciting problem at work. Then I'm confident and seem able to dismiss the thoughts without them sticking. Unfortunately, those periods are followed by the inevitable slack periods and I'm fatigued from the intense activity. Thats when the thoughts pop up and stick.

I like your explanation of reducing anxiety levels rather than fighting the thoughts. That makes sense as I understand that it's the anxiety that makes the thoughts stick and blows them all out of proportion.

I can't understand why I worry so much about doing something I find completely abhorent as this is the guy who will wait for a bumble bee to move on when I'm mowing the lawn rather than just going over it.

I have had a very stressful time over the last 2 - 3 years which resulted in a protracted period of absence from work. Death of father, serious illness to mother, extreme pressure and conflict in the work place - the usual story I guess. I suppose I just need to be patient as I can see clearly the real me during the good times. It's just that once the fear strikes again, I tend to lose sight of that.

Thanks for replying and the advice. It is comforting to know other people have the same experiences.

Cheers

A (father of 1)

[anne]

Thanks michelle for a fab post, I can relate to so much of it
Can I ask how long this has taken you?
I am recovering slowly and the set backs are becoming
less frequent but still frighten me. Day to day the tension is less
and my thoughts are often pushed away, but I havent conquered
everything yet.
Anne x

[earp1001]

Hi to everybody,

I am new to this forum and new to anxiety. I am 40 years of age and I live in Ireland. 3 months ago I had a health scare and was called for a ct scan of my brain. I got no explanation from the dr. and as a result I started thinking all sorts. I done the worst thing possible and looked online and convinced myself if it was not a brain tumour then it was multiple sclerosis. by the way the reason for the scan was a blind spot in my peripheral vision. this can also be a symptom of MS. anyhow by the time I had my scan I was in a state. the day after I got the all clear I found myself locked in my chair with pure fear. the very next day I felt totally detached and not knowing what was wrong. my dr. who is excellent could not convince me I did not have MS. after a week or two I did finally accept what I was told. at this point I was in a bit of a mess but I refused to give in to whatever it was I was feeling. my dr then told me I was suffering with acute anxiety brought on by the health scare plus other stressful events which had occurred, the loss of my mother five years earlier and the loss of my mother in law who died from cancer at 60. this was a devastating blow. I have always been a worrier but never to a major extent and I was always a calm well ordered person. anyway for the next 6 weeks which took me from October through to December 17 I was showing signs of improving although during this period I was having sleeping problems and had anxiety nearly every day and also irrational thoughts. my thoughts were horrible as I thought I could do harm to my wife and these moved on to suspicious thoughts of my wife. I went to a counsellor and also talk a lot to my cousin who is a psychologist and he reassured me these thoughts are normal in the circumstances. this however has taken a long time to sink in. I have also talked to my wife about these strange thoughts and she has been very supportive and a huge help. I feel awfully guilty about having these thoughts about my wife especially as I know my wife has always been faithful and supportive. before xmas my doctor offered me meds which i refused and the next day I went to the gym and started to run. I was a heavy man weighing almost 18 stone but during the worst 6-8 weeks I lost nearly 1.5 stone in weight, this made the exercise a little easier. the exercise has been the biggest help and as I think back to mid December I was much worse. as I write this I am just over three months in to this and the anxiety and feeling of being on the outside looking in has largely disappeared. I still get background anxiety but it is minor enough and my sleeping has pretty much returned. I do still have the silly thoughts which are mainly about my wife. switching from the do harm to the suspicion. basically I would like to know if anyone else has had the same thoughts and how to deal with them. I feel these thoughts are standing in the way of contentment. I have started to see my counsellor again to work through some issues I have or might have. my doctor has assured me I will make a full recovery but I would like to hear other peoples experiences with what I have been told is circumstantial anxiety. I really look forward to reading some replies and I hope my story will be of some help to others.

[joannap]

hi michelle

many thanks for all the advice. did you take med's during your recovery and how long do you yourself feel it took? jo x

[peach]

really fantastic post michelle!!!!!

my main prob is the sick/dizzy spells...i get them every day, for about half to most of the day..nights being the worst...and headaches and fatigue come in a close 2nd....

im going to buy mints like you advised...

when i get the sick spells- im usually out n about,....i will try to just breathe and focus on something close by like you said....i need to beat this thing! im a newlywed, no kids yet, so much i want to do still and just started back to work- half a day a week so far and full of sick spells...ugh...

thanks so much for your advice in the post, just great research!!! im only sorry that you suffered for that research.....

and four kids!!! wow!! awsome!!! maybe there is hope for me yet!

[BasilCat]

Hi Michelle, Many thanks for posting all those tips. My main problem is depersonalisation/unreality and feeling slighly off balance, plus "electric" feelings in my arms and legs. Also I have stupid thoughts about not wanting to be so far from my car when I go out anywhere and not wanting to go out with hubby and kids or any mates in case they see me upset etc. Also I dont want to drive the car far because of the unreality. Then I get the awful wishing people were dead thoughts (I know deep down I dont really mean it) and "what ifs" and I am just so glad you posted those tips on here.

Like you Michelle, I am going to have to try and ignore the bully more and do more relaxation and DONT look back. Also I must try the breathing exercises more too. I think that my problem with breathing exercises and relaxation is that I am impatient and want instant results and to see immediate improvement. I am just going to have to try and be more patient are I? What do you think about exercise Michelle?

Many thanks again
BasilCat

[BasilCat]

Michelle, I have just been re reading your post and it seems that exercise is a good thing for anxiety so I will have to come up with something suitable. Did you suffer with unreality yourself? The problem in recent weeks is that I have made the mistake of letting it get the better of me and have been tensing myself and bracing myself against it!!! This has resulted in my balance going and further annxiety feelings. I am going to have to persist with my breathing and relaxation exercises arent I? How do you cope with feeling unreal if you are around town for example? I always carry a packet of mints with me too!

Another problem is that I am always monitoring myself and how I am feeling and thats another habit I have got to leave behind isnt it?

Thanks again
BasilCat

[michellemumof4]

Hi BasilCat,

Yep i did suffer a hell of a lot with depersonalization I HAD a huge problem with looking in mirrors as a result of this, Your right about the monitering of yourself and the best way to try to break this habbit is to take your mind away from You or if you find yourself monitering go to a window and look outside , take in what is happening in the outside world .......

Yes relaxation is essential and a must be done as often as possible I advise at least 3 times a day make it part of your daily routine, Excerise is good as long as it is low impact , I for one LOVED power walking altho i was lucky to live near a large lake and Not many people saw me stomping round that on a daily basis lol

The depersonalization will pass with relaxation too as we suffer with this as a result of a tired mind, all the thinking we do wears us down and in actual fact its our minds taking a rest that makes us feel unreal ...... so when this happens moniter your breathing and take a few minutes to relax a little .

Above all remember You are winning as Long as You're trying and the road to recovery is Not out of your reach ..... Good Luck xx

[BasilCat]

Hi Michelle, Thanks so much for your reply to my message. I am feeling unreal now. I think its not helped with the fact that I did not sleep well at all last night and tiredness seems to make it worse for me. I was doing well yesterday and managed an hour in town. Then I got headache and thats why I did not sleep well last night.

Thanks for your advice Michelle. I will have to find something to get my mind off me or go and look through a window or something.

I will make relaxation a routine in my day too and find some low impact exercise that I can do. How did you find power walking whilst you felt unreal? I am so unreal at the moment that I dont feel like it would be a good idea to go anywhere. It is really distracting me.

I am glad you have told me the depersonalisation will pass with relaxation and that its the result of a tired mind. We do such a lot of thinking inwardly dont we about how we are feeling when we are in an anxiety state. So its our minds taking a rest that causes this depersonalisation. I am going to have to monitor my breathing now I think. I am tensing up so much with it that I can hardly sit still or up straight at the computer!!

Thanks. I will go and relax and monitor my breathing.

BasilCat

[BasilCat]

Hi again Michelle, I have just been wondering if its worth mentioning that whilst relaxation/exercise will help with the unreality/anxiety symptoms, isnt it fair to say that fear of these symptoms holds them in place as well?

I have just been down to the Park and managed to walk around the pond in the park a bit, then I went and parked at the side of the pier and walked down to the sea front and around the block. The I was going to have some porridge in McDonalds to warm me up but they werent serving it! So I came home. I was ok walking around but realised that fear is a big factor in all this too.

I know that anxiety is all about adrenalin in your system etc and that the unreality is just our minds reacting to being tired. But why on earth do anxiety symptoms have to be so scary!!

I am doing my best to keep getting out and about and am trying to get past the stupid thought that I dont want to be so far away from the car whenever I go anywhere. Thats why I parked up and walked down to the beach and the pond this morning. But I still didnt feel great when I got home. Did you have any stupid thoughts like the one I mention above Michelle about not wanting to be far from the car or whatever. If so, how did you cope?

Thanks Michelle.
BasilCat