My Week From Hell

[JHR]

Better night last night, had a great day at the footy, we won and our youngest nephew was a mascot so we really enjoyed it.
Aunty has COPD Carn and although Uncle has terminal prostrate cancer its being managed with drugs but it makes him weaker but to be fair he does the caring for her rather than the other way round. They've been offered social services help with care but they turned it down preferring to call on me and OH. We've made it clear we cannot be on call because we live too far away so this latest issue has made him realise they need so proper daily help.The Aunty and Uncle with the daughter area different pair, this pair don't have kids. I've made it more than clear now that I cared for Mum and Dad cos they were Mum and Dad but I'm not and don't intend to be a qualified daily carer....it hasn't gone down well but it's gone down
Hope everyone else has a reasonably peaceful day

[Carnation]

Oh, I see. Then something should be sorted out for them.
Maybe this stay at the hospital will start the ball rolling.
Being a carer is 24/7. I don't need to tell you that. You've
been in that roll as I have too. I did that role 3 times over and it certainly takes it tole on you.
It's a huge commitment and I hope your family realise that.

[JHR]

Not a good night again, the plumber we were expecting on Friday didn't turn up and rescheduled for this morning, coupled with a late evening phone call from my elderly uncle I reckon I went to bed with a racing head.
My head is already working on a fractious call with homeserve forcthe plumber not turning up today and although I'm sticking to my guns with Uncle to insist they get professional help in it doesn't stop thecguilt I feel for saying no....I'm really not good at saying no
Oh well I'm doing my breathing as I sit and await theatrical of this blasted plumber....this air hunger is driving me nuts
Hope everyone else has a reasonably peaceful day

[Carnation]

People not turning up is one of my bugbears.
Not great for anxiety and I have this opinion now that no one is going to turn up when they say so I'm not so disappointed when it happens. It's also not personal because generally people are inconsiderate and don't give a toss that you've rearranged your day or sitting chewing your lip while you anticipate a knock at the door.
Not what you want to hear JHR but plumbers are no worst. Apologies to any plumber who reads this and actually does keep to their appointments but in my experience it hasn't been the case.
JHR, with your uncle, that's a difficult one in the sense of playing with the emotions in the way of guilt but the simple answer here is, you have your own issues and the need for help for your relations would be a longterm situation. It's not a case of popping round on a as and when basis. It's not your immediate family and it's not what you need right now. Plus, you're not a nurse.
If they say there is no one to help then they are more than likely to get everything they need from the NHS and they are then in the system. So sometimes when a family member steps in they can actually be denying them all sorts of help. Not only that, it's a huge responsibility with no end of contract date. Think about what is best all round and not about the guilt. x

[JHR]

This is what I'm telling him, think it's sinking in but he has a severe case of the "poor me's"...my parting shot to him last night was " I was in exactly the same boat in 2003 when Dad came home without the use if his legs, remember thinking I'm totally on my own with this and no bugger seems bothered so I turned to social services for some daily hands on help and they provided carers to get him ip showered and ready for the day but I had to constantly badger em" I was hoping he'd see through the fact that he and Aunty were perfectly fine then but I didn't see sight of them offering me help they just said they were too far away to help. I'm adamant I'm not going to relent I've more than done my stint of caring

[Carnation]

You can help with guidance and calls JHR x