Trying To Get By Day To Day While Living With Anxiety.

[Pkstracy]

Darksky first off I am so sorry for the loss of your mom, all I can do is send you virtual hugs. Thank you both. I don't have any of my mom's things at all, my aunt hasn't sent what was set aside for me, I doubt she ever will, I bought the oil to use for myself, as all of us women in the family use it and we look way younger than our age, my mother in law uses it, she is 83 and looks 60. I am 51 and I have people tell me you don't look 51 I could have sworn you were early 30s. Yes it does remind me of my mom when I open it and use it, as the smell takes me back to memories, I do have the perfume and I do sniff it once in awhile, just felt like putting it on yesterday. As for her picture I did move it to the other wall, that I hardly see, in my room. I should have stated I am sad due to how I have treated myself, and I am grieving eight deaths in a year, it seems it seems a never ending cycle. I was feeling my sads last night, as I am in the downward spiral of my bipolar. It will last for a few weeks then I'll be on the high end and manic as all get out. I know you both didn't mean anything harsh by your replies, and I am grateful that you offer the suggestions and advice. Thank you both so much, am sending you both hugs.

[Pkstracy]

Ever since I had my first nosebleed, I have been in a slight anxious mode, worrying that it's going to start bleeding again, I know what caused it that one time, from blowing my nose way too hard. Now I am anxious about my throat, on the right side I do get a bit of pain but only when I am about to break down crying, I have also been clearing my throat and having a slight cough and my voice gets a bit hoarse, my husband is like it's not throat cancer, remember from July 30 until August 16th you had a bad upper resp infection, AUG 18 you got your nosebleed had blood flowing down the back of your throat, that made it very irritated, plus you were coughing a lot and gagging and threw up a couple of times then when they cauterized your nose, you had bad post nasal drip for a week after that, the weather was also hot for a few days like 100-106 then suddenly the temps dropped to mid 60s-70s with the night time getting to 58 to 60, you were sleeping with a fan on 24/7 up until two days ago, so yeah your throat has been through a lot and it's irritated, it will take some time for it to stop. I can eat and swallow just fine, no lumps or anything.
Now I need to rant I am so effing tired of reaching out and checking on people when I haven't heard from them in a few days, but I am gone for a week or more and no one and I mean no one, (not talking about anyone on here ) will reach out and see if I am okay or need anything...then they get an attitude with me like what's up and when I say what? They are like haven't heard from you in awhile, don't you like us anymore, ? Uh the phone or emails work both ways I don't hear from you.

[Pkstracy]

Today was a good day. I was active today, emptied off an old bookshelf to make room for a new one, put the new one together with hubby's help, helped him move it in, and now I am just taking a break before putting the last of the shelves in. Then this weekend I will be putting together the second one. I haven't been this active in a long time and it felt so good to use those muscles, I am still worried about my throat, it seems the pain has moved to the tonsil area on the right side so it feels like I just keep telling myself it just highly irritated from being sick for a month and all the coughing and gagging and right sided nose bleed from the blood going down that side. I know it can take time to heal because I talk a lot and I sing along to music.

[Carnation]

I have to agree with your hubby PK.
And don't forget the tearful episodes because that can make the throat muscles tighten
I get issues with my throat from my sinuses, allergies and acid reflux. A fan and aircon can affect me too. Even a windy day or change in temperature.
Singing is good PK, so is humming. Plenty of fluids.
As for people not getting in touch, well I'm sure that's a very common thing, I know I have that too.
Instead of being concerned for others and what they think, use your energy on doing stuff for yourself xxx

[Pkstracy]

Hi Carn, sending you hugs. How are you getting along with finding a place? I have been reading about what you are going through and have been keeping you in my thoughts and sending up whatever good vibes that you get a home or get to stay in your current one for a longer time. Yeah I know it's probably due to all the irritation my poor throat has been through on that right side, that's the side my nosebleed was on and the blood ran down my throat on that side and caused my throat to burn, not to mention having that bad upper resp infection to where it totally blocked my right nostril, what drives me nuts is it's one sided throat pain, I agree that I need to turn that attention onto myself, which I have never been good at self care and such for me.

[YoullNeverWalkAlone]

Hi Pk...
Glad you have had a better day, it makes a big difference to how we feel and what we achieve when we feel that anxiety and it’s symptoms lift...

I too get throat problems with anxiety, I get the globus lump feeling as well, also get aching and pain in throat with sinuses, allergies and acid reflux, do you suffer with any of those, could be any of those or a combination of things aggravating your throat...it will take time to heal but heal it will in its own good time, maybe try gargling with salt water or antiseptic mouth wash...

Singing is good, whether you can hold a tune or not, it’s good for your breathing, lungs and makes you feel better, especially if it’s a happy, jolly song....

Here’s hoping for more better days PK, your doing really well xxx

[Pkstracy]

Hi YNWA Thank you so much for your reply. I haven't been diagnosed with allergies, but I suspect I might have them, and no to acid reflux, I was told a long time ago that I have GERD, but we found out it wasn't it was just due to my IBS and it only happened one time Do you get it the pain on one side? I have noticed that my right nostril has felt a little clogged since I had it cauterized. As I replied to Carn and what my husband said we think it could be due to the upper resp infection, the nosebleed, when the blood went down the back of my throat four weeks ago, it would sting like crazy each time it did, I also got post nasal drip from that and I am bring up phlegm when I cough and feel some dripping down the back of my nose into my throat on the right side I feel better today, kind of I had therapy today and that kicked my butt. I just woke up from a nap. I am going to be sorting a massive amount of books around 4000 and getting some of them on my new book shelf. I hope you are doing well.

[YoullNeverWalkAlone]

Hi Pk...

Oh yes, I can get it on one side or around the Adam’s apple area and hollow of my throat....
That could be your sinuses PK and if you get a lot of post nasal drip that will aggravate your throat and make it sore, plus it’s coming up the other way too....it can take time before it completely goes PK especially if you still have catarrh.

4000 Books!!!!!! Do you live in a library.....

[Carnation]

Wow yes, 4000 books is a lot.
I thought my collection was big at around 300.
With Mr C's it's about 700.
All boxed and ready to move.

[Pkstracy]

YNWA the scab from the cauterization is gone all that is there is scar tissue. As to living in a library I wish I did LOL, I love books and am a huge bookworm, I have just finished my 73rd book for the year my goal is to read 100. Thank you for your kind words about my throat, I hate when the health anxiety rears it's head and makes me jump to the worst case, even though I am at very low and I mean low risk of having throat cancer, I don't smoke or drink, have never done either, and cancer does not run in our family, never heard of any one on either side dying of cancer other than my step grandfather who died of lung cancer but he was a smoker who had smoked since he was nine.
Carn, that is still an impressive amount of books, I hope that one day you get a place settled to where those books can be unpacked and placed on shelves, I read anything from True Crime (which is over 350 in books total on that subject alone) Young Adult, Classics, Nonfiction, thrillers, horror, occult, (I, myself, am a witch), romance, mystery, historical fiction Biographies, Such as Queen Victoria, Queen Elizabeth, The Queen Mother, The Romanovs, Mary Todd Lincoln, Anne Frank, I think I have books in just about every genre other than military history, that is my hubbies genre, I also read books about women spies and about movie stars like the Barrymores, and Pickfords, books on disasters such as The Titanic, Hotel fires, school fires, floods and such