I'm in a really bad place and I've done something stupid

[WiredIncorrectly]

Teeth out, denture in. I took 20mg of diazepam and the ex gave me a few puffs on some green stuff.

That actually helped me relax. I was lying there listening to music in my own space. It went much better than I expected. Was over before I knew it.

Back home now. My smile looks great! I'm amazed. This is going to give me so much confidence.

In agony though. Took so co-codimol. Going to sleep shortly I'm drained.

Tried to eat a yoghurt, but nope, caused some very bad pain. I got some potatoes and cheese for cheese and potatoes pie. Rice pudding. Milkshakes. Vitamins. Ice lollys. And a few other bits.

It'll be bed rest for me for a few days.

[Catkins]

Well done Wired!

[WiredIncorrectly]

Dammit it's painful. Feel like a flu, and side of my face is swollen a bit. Slept for a good while already.

[Carnation]

I'm proud of you wired, that was no minor dentist trip.
The swelling and pain will settle, sleep as much as you can

[WiredIncorrectly]

I'm proud of you wired, that was no minor dentist trip.
The swelling and pain will settle, sleep as much as you can

The meds helped me a lot. They practically sent me into a mind state where I wasn't concerned.

But today is not a very good day. I am so tired. I've slept all last night, then slept again for 4 hours, and not long woke up. I walked to the shop with the dog, and I felt so drained and tired I had to force my legs to move. Had to take a few breaks.

The only pain I seem to have is in the wisdom tooth area. All the front extractions are fine.

My temp. denture doesn't bite. It's out of line with my teeth. I probably won't use it unless I go out the house because there's no way I can eat with it. I've still got teeth on the right side top and bottom so I should be able to eat ok once I'm healed.

Bouts of depression are kicking in. I'm not even 40 and have dentures. I'm trying to tell myself all the positives. It is what it is. I'm looking to get a silver tooth on my permanent dentures. So there is that.

[WiredIncorrectly]

No pain today. I don't think I have any dry sockets. Still not eaten anything. Drank some nourishment milkshakes, and ate some chocolate yoghurt pot. Those Cadbury ones are so good.

I'm going to try some noodles later. I just want to avoid dry socket at all costs so avoiding anything other than warm or cold liquids. I should be ok, just super tired.

Still having loads of negative thoughts about this, but I tell myself it is what it is. No use crying over spilt milk. Got to move forward and make the best of the situation. This mantra is serving me well. It's just going to take some getting used to.

I want to eat my joint of gammon. Yes, I know I'm Muslim, but being raised on pork is something I struggle to give up. Reminds me of my nana. She was German. We used to go there every Sunday and eat Gammon and lots of different German sausages. Why is it nanas make the best food? It's one of the only meats I enjoy. That and chicken. Not a fan of other meats. But boiled gammon is soft so it's good for my teeth. I don't really sweat it.

[Carnation]

Gammon is one of my favourites wired.
You can roast or boil it.
Boiled gammon was a family favourite years ago.
Have with creamy mash potato, it's lovely.
Cold with pickle. Keeps for ages.
I'm pleased to hear you've had no pain, that's a very good sign.

[WiredIncorrectly]

I think the lack of food is making me go crazy.

I ended up in a state last night. Identical to the state I was in regarding the original post. It's a state of rage, uncontrollable thoughts, thoughts that the people that love me hate me. I got upset last night that my son didn't like me. I started thinking my ex was plotting against me. And I had an argument with her. I then ended up using a knife to do something I haven't done for a long time.

I don't know what is going on. I am genuinely out of control during these "bouts".

My ex understands me very well and she knew I was having one of these episodes. She tried to help me but I pushed her away. This morning she called me to check that I'm ok. I am.

I tried to speak to my doctor 2 weeks ago, but he told me to wait for my appointment with mental health team because he has no idea what is going on and said its too complex for him to prescribe anything.

My son came today and gave me a hug and told me he loves me. It's his birthday Saturday and we got him a gaming PC so he came to collect it. He looked so proud and happy when he left. He's a lovely kid and I love him to bits. It makes me feel even more guilty that I can have episodes where I think he hates me. Because he's never done anything for me to think that.

I'm just stuck at the moment with nobody to talk to. I keep having these problems over and over again. When I think I'm out of the woods, bam, I'm back in again.

[WiredIncorrectly]

Cheese and potatoe pie in is in. Not ate for 3 days so I hope this helps.

[Carnation]

Food will definitely help. I presume you are taking your meds. But waiting 2 weeks to speak to the mental health team is too long. See if you can get an earlier appointment wired.