rosietj
12-06-11, 08:18
Hi all,
i hate myself SOO much. i am about to go to australia in 5 days to see my beautiful pregnant daughter and her lovely hubby and taking my 22 year old with me as a finishing uni pressy, BUT i am having the most horrendous fears, panics and anxiety. cant eat sleep pins and needles all over, head like i'm in space. for god sake i have been there 3 times before, but everytime i get this blasted awful sickening hated feelings and I loathe myself more and more and I dont seem to enjoy a moment of anything. I dont fear flying and travel itself is not it so WHYYYYY ! why am i like this. It is just a holiday, i get to see my darling daughter. I know i dread leaving her and the pain is terrible but i have pain going and leaving. God i'm rambling, but i am so all over the place.
once i actually cancelled because the anxiety was too much. but i have been since and have tried so hard to overcome this awful illogical feeling but all the stupid awful stuff creeps back and this time seems to be coming back with avengence. when i;m there i want to be here and when i;m here i want to be there! I am afraid i am going to ruin everything for myself and my daughter (its her first trip and she is so excited) but i am struggling keeping this underwraps. Thinking of perhaps some valium My husband says nice things. Hes not coming but i am the same when he has and he says i'll get through but i cant explain to you how terrible i am feeling and i just cant stop it. but the stomach churning the complete stupidity of it all I know but i just am losing control PLEASE HELP ME!!!
i hate myself SOO much. i am about to go to australia in 5 days to see my beautiful pregnant daughter and her lovely hubby and taking my 22 year old with me as a finishing uni pressy, BUT i am having the most horrendous fears, panics and anxiety. cant eat sleep pins and needles all over, head like i'm in space. for god sake i have been there 3 times before, but everytime i get this blasted awful sickening hated feelings and I loathe myself more and more and I dont seem to enjoy a moment of anything. I dont fear flying and travel itself is not it so WHYYYYY ! why am i like this. It is just a holiday, i get to see my darling daughter. I know i dread leaving her and the pain is terrible but i have pain going and leaving. God i'm rambling, but i am so all over the place.
once i actually cancelled because the anxiety was too much. but i have been since and have tried so hard to overcome this awful illogical feeling but all the stupid awful stuff creeps back and this time seems to be coming back with avengence. when i;m there i want to be here and when i;m here i want to be there! I am afraid i am going to ruin everything for myself and my daughter (its her first trip and she is so excited) but i am struggling keeping this underwraps. Thinking of perhaps some valium My husband says nice things. Hes not coming but i am the same when he has and he says i'll get through but i cant explain to you how terrible i am feeling and i just cant stop it. but the stomach churning the complete stupidity of it all I know but i just am losing control PLEASE HELP ME!!!