hi wanted to do this for a long time...but neverhad the courage!

[overwhelmed53]

dont know where to begin..im 53 and have had severe cancer phobia most ofmy adult life ....its even difficult for me to use the word....having a very bad episode just now and am barely functioning....hoping to be able to post later and speak more in depth....but at this moment i just cnt!!!! x

[diane07]

Hi overwhelmed53

A huge warm welcome to nmp.

You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.

Best wishes

[Vanilla Sky]

Hi and welcome to NMP :welcome:
Paige x

[Hazel B]

:welcome: and well done for saying hello, it takes guts.

[overwhelmed53]

thanks for ur words of welcome! am working up to pouring it all out...hopefully soon...just hard to put it all into words....praying that maybe it will help me ..god bless

[Taffy]

Hi :welcome:..There is nothing to be afraid of here...this is a safe place. Take your time and when your ready there will always be someone here for you.

[paulst]

Hi and welcome, look forward to more of your posts when you feel ready:)

[overwhelmed53]

thank u its nice to know someone cares!! i think im just goin to tell part of my story one bit at a time!!! here goes.....i have severe OCD..mostly intrusive thoughts....mainly about me being punished and going to die soon...i alsohave cancer phobia...and very low self esteem at this moment its really bad!!! i see everything that happens as a sign of my impending doom....banal every day things become signs to me that mean im not going to be here for much longer...sometimes getting thru the day is torture...everyone sees me as a gregarious chatty person...but its all a front...every waking moment is consumed by these thoughts they never ever go away!!!!!each eposide convinces me that this time this is it!! im tired feeling like this. it doesnt help that part of my compulsion is not to takemy medication much to the despair of my long suffering gp. and i cant help but feel that im the only one who feels like this and if i tell everyone whats in my mind they will be truly shocked!! this is just a small portion of the way i feel....trust me if I ever pluck up the courage to pour out the rest even the people on this forum might think there i no hope for me which truly scares me!!!! thats enough for now...bit long winded and general but its a start!!! please bear with me andthanks to all who take the time to read this...god blessx

[Hazel B]

Well done, you're not alone. Nobody will judge you.

[overwhelmed53]

thank u hazel...i think i live my life infear of being judged!!! maybe there is some hope for me and this just might be the place for me to find it...god bless u allX