How do you deal with anger? [Archive]

View Full Version : How do you deal with anger?

uk23

16-03-11, 01:19

Jamie C

16-03-11, 03:32

Hi
I'm in the same boat too sometimes i get so angry over nothing to the point where i litterally loose it, i once ripped my bedroom door clean off its hinges, many other doors in this house have had my fist go through them aswell... (sounds dodgey) Been in a relitivly calm mood recently but some people just do their best to set me off for a reaction.. grr!!

Jamie

harasgenster

16-03-11, 08:38

I know loads of men like this. They're all really nice guys then they just see red. It is caused by anxiety and not quite dealing with your problems effectively enough. I think I'd be like this if I was a man, to be honest. I've broken stuff before in a rage but I'm too weak to cause much damage and the potential embarrassment of making a mess in my house usually stops me before I do anything!

My brother was awful for this for a while. He might still be, I don't know, because I don't live with him anymore. I think it probably is a good idea to try and tell your psychiatrist. Agreed, your GP probably won't be able to do anything because this is a symptom of the illness you are already seeing a psychiatrist about.

What exactly does your psych do for you? Do you get therapy with them or is it just discussing your medication? You sound like you need to see someone who could give you some practical advice on controlling your anger. There's some stuff on www.moodgym.anu.edu.au to help stem the rage before you start breaking things. Unfortunately, it's one of those courses where you have to go through it from the beginning to get to the bit you want to read, but maybe this will be helpful anyway! It's a pretty good CBT course, particularly if you haven't done CBT before. Everything is filled in online instead of writing it down yourself, which I find easier.

Hope you feel better soon

Earthworm

16-03-11, 09:22

I'm so glad you guys have posted this, thanks! I get this too and it's not a very pleasant side to me or one I like to admit to but so relieved to hear it can be anxiety related. I am to most people the calmest most placid person going but at home I can completely lose the plot sometimes ... same kind of things, throwing stuff, punching walls etc (never managed to rip a door off, that's impresive ... most I managed was the kids stairgate and flung it down the stairs ... I must be a bit of a weakling!). It is issolated incidents and few and far between but when it comes I just can't seem to put the brakes on in time. Afterwards I am always resentful and embarrassed. It's always inanimate objects too, I never direct my anger at anyone (which is a relief I guess) ... I guess the more I think about it it is frustration, anxiety and my (lack of) dealing with things.

Can't offer any real words of advice other than it seems you aren't alone. Sometimes if I do manage to feel it coming in time I just go outside for a walk round the block or away from the siutation that is winding me up, I realise you can't always do this but if you can it does help to difuse the situation.

JaneC

16-03-11, 11:15

Very good chapter on anger in "Feeling Good - the New Mood Therapy" - by David D Burns MD (it's CBT)

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/articles/reading/

uk23

16-03-11, 12:04

Very good chapter on anger in "Feeling Good - the New Mood Therapy" - by David D Burns MD (it's CBT)

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/articles/reading/

I found the very last link, technewsblog which is owned by someone called Steve McMillan, pretty interrresting, not sure why its on there though?

http://anony.ws/di-GIES.png

Jamie C

22-03-11, 23:52

After being angry, or annoyed, do any of you feel really drowsey and have a mega derealization period after? as you calm down??

Jamie.

Jamie C

25-03-11, 13:57

let me answer your question again...

I deal with my stupidly extreme anger very ***king badly. like at this very moment.

suzy-sue

25-03-11, 15:22

:ohmy:...deep breaths Jamie ..:winks:

I dont often get angry but I find it has made my anxiety shoot off the scale for a few days afterwards .It leaves me feeling utter crap tbh .I dont sleep well afterwards and feel wiped out .So now when I can feel myself getting cross .I just think of how it will leave me feeling if I allow myself to angry .All the adrenaline and emotion is just counterproductive .Doing something physical like cleaning or gardening or walking ,always makes me calm down and at the same time im using my energy to some use .I used to have a friend who played squash ,he found it helpful for getting rid of Stress and anger .It also kept him fit .You cant help what makes you angry but you can help how you react to it .Usually when youve calmed down you realise it really wasnt worth it .:lac: Sue x How you feeling now Jamie ? :winks: x

Wasake wauspe

28-04-11, 19:26

To be fair mate I have suffered with this for years, I have been arested over it, I have smashed my mums house up many times long time ago now and done other things that I am not proud of. What I have learnt from it all though is, that should you do something that hurts the people you love or know, not necassarily physically but otherwise then you may start to feel guilty - which is what happened to me and the guild ways more than anger but only adds to the anger, so a cycle begins. I still felt angry and to this day still do to a degree but I have looked at my life and tried to change certain things for example a big one was drinking - I wasnt an alcoholic but I liked a drink and going out etc. Once i had a drink I was more vunerable to the anger taking over me - so luckily I cut down loads and this helped sooo much. I drank less tea n coffee and had herbal instead(not great but now one sugar and lovely) But i would def have a look over you life now or in the past as this is where I found it to have started from and from there I found ways to do things differently. These things helped me anyway.
All the best mate.

Chem

28-04-11, 23:18

It started about 2 years a go, I get so angry and Im not talking worked up about stuff, Im talking anger to the point of kicking down a door etc.

I have sort of spoken to my psychiatrist about it but he only sees the calmer version of me.

I can feel the anger eat me up, more and more things make me angry, I would actually call it rage.

Any words of advice or anything about where I should turn to?

(please don't say GP as they are useless)

I have rages too where I could rip things apart or destroy the house. Twice I've exploded and flung things at shop assistants due to poor service.

Then I sit calmly in a chair in my Psych's office trying to explain how the rage takes over and she asks am I taking my tablets? How's life at home? I feel like throwing the chair at her. Maybe that's the only way I'll get help with this white searing anger that really scares me.

nuttymoo

29-04-11, 13:08

I've committed criminal damage when I've been anxious. I just felt out of control. I'd pace the house thinking of ways I could get back at the person who had terrified me. I'm keeping it under control at the moment but I'm scared it'll happen again.

KK77

29-04-11, 17:57

Just let your wrath out Piers. I think it does more harm in than out. Doesn't mean you commit criminal damage but I think speaking your mind, even if you think it might upset others, is an important factor. Too many people are obsequious servants on the outside while they're brimming with rage inside. Finding the balance is hard but I believe repressed anger and resentment are at the root of many illnesses.

suzy-sue

29-04-11, 18:52

I get my Hatchett out ,thats when MM hasnt pinched it ..:lac: ..A good old swear usually helps in that case (BLUSH ) Sue

Nutmeg

29-04-11, 19:40

I get really really angry really easily but I internalise it so it's really not good. I've done quite a lot of damage to myself in anger... it's really not good. I'm not sure I have any advice but I can tell you internalising it isn't good.

Wasake wauspe

30-04-11, 08:44

I agree with Melancholia77,:yesyes: letting out is the best way even if it does upset people sometimes. Also i have found that exercising helps sometimes - not a gentle run or bike ride but a fast, hard, short burst of a workout. A short circuit routine for say ten mins to help reduce adrenaline. Has helped me when I have felt really bad. if your fitness isnt so good then build up to it, start slowly at first.

Dahlia

13-05-11, 10:48

This article came up on msn today when I logged in. Nothing too new there, but I'll post it in case it provides food for thought....

http://him.uk.msn.com/health-and-fitness/articles.aspx?cp-documentid=157448587&ocid=today

Hazel B

13-05-11, 16:38

My problem is "stone-walling" and holding things in too much, but when I feel it's all about to blow, I go to the gym and use the boxing equipment & punchbag to punch it all out. Then I sit in the jacuzzi until I go all crinkly and it's normally OK by then!:D

John4

15-07-11, 06:32

You have to blow off steam.
I use both clarifylife and moodgym

I found a comparison here
http://www.clarifylife.com/moodgym.html

uk23

16-07-11, 05:20

You have to blow off steam.
I use both clarifylife and moodgym

I found a comparison here ...

2 posts and you are advertising?

KK77

16-07-11, 10:30

2 posts and you are advertising?

Stinks of spamming to me :lac:

John4

13-08-11, 22:23

Anger is emotional pressure. It has to be let out. You can't just ignore it or avoid it all the time. It turns into depression.
I am not a proponent of medication and I wouldn't know how to diagnose it when it is needed. But for ordinary people with compulsions, needing to do something too much you need a tool.
Assuming there are no friends that can help:
Maybe a 12 step group.
Maybe a meetup.
And if people are not what helps then moodgym or clarifylife.
They both are free and they help if you are into it.
But any therapy including all I mentioned won't help unless there is time put aside to do the work regularly.
And time put aside afterward to rest through it.
People ask me how I did it and I am never sure what was the key.
I just worked at it repeatedly.
All I can say again is ANGER has to be released!