If these sick intrusive thoughts dont stop...i will end it

[overthinker]

I use to get intrusive thoughts about the same sex I knew I weren't a lesbian but they persisted anyways they have changed now im convincing myself that I am capable of harming a child I dont even want to express how as its disgusting I was sexually abused as a child and read that abusers abuse which has started this paranoia I can't cope I also suffer anorexia and this has triggered it even more

Iv only has these images the last 4 days I want them gone I pray for te lesbian thoughts as they weren't as extreme I dread going near babies or children I pull out my hair smash my head when I have these thoughts. Im so sick to the core I haven't eaten in a while I can't im filled with nausea and the fear that I could possibly become like my abuser before that could even happen I know I would end it I would rather cut of my ands than hurt anyone

I love nature, animals, children, people

Why this why now?

[overthinker]

Sorry many spelling errors in the last part I ment to put I would rather cut off my hands than do anything to anyone animal, adult or child

[Captain Caveman]

Hi. I used to suffer with the same sort of stuff. The fear of being gay is referred to on forums as (HOCD) and the fear of harming people is known as (HARM-O) and the fear of being a pedophile is known as (POCD). I;ll get you some articles in a second to help you overcome this. You can sort all this out:)

[shoegal]

What you have is unwanted thoughts. Everybody has random and sometimes unpleasant thoughts, but when you are already in an anxious state, the thoughts frighten you and you fixate on them which makes you think about the thoughts and panic more. You end up in a cycle where you are thinking about those thoughts all the time and frightening yourself. People who genuinely want to harm others are not frightened by their thoughts. The fact that you are horrified and scared of your thoughts proves that you do not wish to carry out those thoughts/actions. Please go and see your Doctor and tell them that you are having frightening unwanted thoughts. This is a known condition and they will have seen it more times than you can imagine, so please don't be afraid to seek help.

Good luck, and please try not to worry (easy to say I know). :flowers:

[Captain Caveman]

Hi again. I shoud also mention like shoegal has said, everyone gets such weird thoughts. It's only when a person starts performing rituals (obvservable or non-observable) or unhelpful coping strategies that the below is designed to help. So it depends on your reactions to such thoughts as to what therapuetic path to take.

http://www.raminader.com/PDFs%20Uploaded/OCD%20-%20Thinking%20Bad%20Thoughts.pdf

http://westsuffolkpsych.homestead.com/Violent_Obsessions.html

http://westsuffolkpsych.homestead.com/But_I_Love_My_Kids.html

http://westsuffolkpsych.homestead.com/Am_I_Gay.html

http://www.ocdonline.com/articlephillipson7.php

If that all sound like what you are dealing with, then this is a real good article to summarize it http://www.ocdonline.com/Rethinkingtheunthinkable.php

[overthinker]

Captain cavema i would love that thank and shoegal I want to be myself agaion im also gettin images of people finding out my thoughts and disowning me and hating. I see everyone who like me and cry as I feel iv let them down , I feel I diserve to die jus for having the thoughts I feel like the devil is in me. I was ok before I would think about anorexia which to me is better than thinking about this I wish I cud go back to thinking about just that as two things at once is crippling. I dont want to be near friends and family as I dont want them to be around someone who has these thoughts so iv isolated myself is there any sort of self hypnosis to make you forget or ris yourself of these thoughts im only 21 I can't deal with it all I actually still feel like a child and sex to me is disgusting.

[overthinker]

Captain caveman i would love that thank and shoegal I want to be myself agaion im also gettin images of people finding out my thoughts and disowning me and hating. I see everyone who like me and cry as I feel iv let them down , I feel I diserve to die jus for having the thoughts I feel like the devil is in me. I was ok before I would think about anorexia which to me is better than thinking about this I wish I cud go back to thinking about just that as two things at once is crippling. I dont want to be near friends and family as I dont want them to be around someone who has these thoughts so iv isolated myself is there any sort of self hypnosis to make you forget or ris yourself of these thoughts im only 21 I can't deal with it all I actually still feel like a child and sex to me is disgusting.

[daisycake]

Hi again. I shoud also mention like shoegal has said, everyone gets such weird thoughts. It's only when a person starts performing rituals (obvservable or non-observable) or unhelpful coping strategies that the below is designed to help. So it depends on your reactions to such thoughts as to what therapuetic path to take.

http://www.raminader.com/PDFs%20Uploaded/OCD%20-%20Thinking%20Bad%20Thoughts.pdf

http://westsuffolkpsych.homestead.com/Violent_Obsessions.html

http://westsuffolkpsych.homestead.com/But_I_Love_My_Kids.html

http://westsuffolkpsych.homestead.com/Am_I_Gay.html

http://www.ocdonline.com/articlephillipson7.php

If that all sound like what you are dealing with, then this is a real good article to summarize it http://www.ocdonline.com/Rethinkingtheunthinkable.php


Thank you so much for posting that - I'm sort of intruding here but I've spent the last fortnight going mad worrying over the same thing. I'm away to try and talk to my GP on Monday.. Overthinker - PM me if you like - it might help you and me to talk to someone feeling the same way. Sending you massive hugs :bighug1:

[Captain Caveman]

Hi overthinker. You haven't let anyone down. And you don't deserve to die. Millions of people have experienced what you are going through. Everyone experiences wonky thoughts, but the difference is that some are able to dismiss them for what they are, whilst others gets stuck on them. Once you learn how to change your reaction to them, you will be better again. Not only that, you will come out of it a better person from the experience:) You will be able to help others from them on. But first things first, you gotta do some research. Like I said, it depends on your reaction to them. I sufferred with severe obsessive and compulsive behaviour. Other people have such thoughts but don't respond in such compulsive behaviour, so I don't know whether what I sent you relates to you or not.

If so, there is another forum which deals with these sorts of issues. There are stacks of people with similar problems. You have to become a member (free) to be able to access the "sexual issues" section. Just be aware though that everyone is at different stages of their understanding of such problems, so advice will range from helpful to counter productive. http://www.stuckinadoorway.org/

[Captain Caveman]

Thank you so much for posting that - I'm sort of intruding here but I've spent the last fortnight going mad worrying over the same thing. I'm away to try and talk to my GP on Monday.. Overthinker - PM me if you like - it might help you and me to talk to someone feeling the same way. Sending you massive hugs :bighug1:

Hi daisycake. I'm glad the links have helped. I spent years going through the same stuff before learning that I had gone about recovering in the wrong manner. So I'm more than happy to set people on the right direction by providing links. I should point out that whilst some GP's might have some knowledge of the stuff I linked, others might not. A psycholgist who specialises in such issues is more likely to understand. Also, there are general psychologists and there are those who specialise in this sutff. So again there are different levels. And there is traditional CBT vs CBT that is tailored specifically to deal with this behaviour, so it can all get tricky/technical trying to arrange treatment. I've spent years reading of people explain how they were given the wrong sort of treatment. Like everyone, you will be able to sort this out too:) I don't claim to be an expert, but if you had any questions, I can try to answer them.

[overthinker]

Im too scared to go doctors as I feel they will instantly think because iv been abused I will be an abuser and link my thoughts to that possibility :/ but I will have to go whatever my fate :( as the thoughts are just too much to bear I hope they jus go like the same sex ones its like I have swapped obsessions can't I somehow swap to a more manageable obsession somehow then seek help for that on that as this issue is to degrading and humiliiating it has been a massive reassurance talking to you and joining this forum though so tats a positive :D

[Captain Caveman]

Im too scared to go doctors as I feel they will instantly think because iv been abused I will be an abuser and link my thoughts to that possibility :/ but I will have to go whatever my fate : I'm sorry you went through that. If you feel your doc isn't clued up on this sort of stuff, you could always print something out. Your local GP will be able to refer you to a psychologist. They are the ones trained and have more time to deal with this stuff.


( as the thoughts are just too much to bear I hope they jus go like the same sex ones its like I have swapped obsessions can't I somehow swap to a more manageable obsession somehow then seek help for that on that as this issue is to degrading and humiliiating

Switching themes happens a lot. Most people experience multiple themes. So it's advisable not to get too caught up with specific themes. THe mechanics are pretty much all the same regardless of whether the theme relates to fears of being gay, a pedophile, harming others, relationships, schitzophrenia etc.. So you can get help from anyone no matter whether they are expreriencing different themes. A person can suffer just as much from any type of theme.



it has been a massive reassurance talking to you and joining this forum though so tats a positive :D

Happy to help. If you are dealing with intrusive thoughts that result in behaviour what some like to label/diagnose as OCD (I don't like to label) , you will learn that reassurance will result in short term relief, but will be counter productive long term. That other forum I mentioned is chock full of well meaning individuals trying to help others, but with the constant reassurance they are giving out, it is actually not helping the other person in the long term.

Have a good read of those articles, and see if it relates to you. Then you can be on your way to a new better life:)

[kim8913]

I know what your going through, 5 years ago voices started calling me a pedophile and i hated every minute of it, it was constant and everyday, I never posted on a forum because even typing the word pedophile into a forum made me sick. you are very brave.

theres nothing wrong with you! :)

"you will never understand my voice,
if thoughts to you are words of choice"

Honest the fact you are so bothered by the thoughts means your a good person. Don't end it, you havn't finished yet!

endure it will get better honest! your not alone so don't worry! stay positive!

look up hannah reese intrusive thoughts google it really helped me :)

[Volvoman50]

I have to agree these thoughts are the very opposite of type of person you are its because they scare and sadden you that you concentrate on them which makes it worse where when other people get them which they do they can just shrug it off and the thought just goes through the head without touching the sides. Get to your doctor and get some counseling they have heard it all before. Your ARE a good person otherwise these thoughts would not be so upsetting I know suffering that way myself at the moment.
Wishing you well.

[theharvestmouse]

This is an old thread but maybe people will take something from it.