Is this pure-O or Insanity?

[Max G]

Ever since I had started getting anxiety and panic atacks back in april i have been having this one single thought that i'm not me literally. This thought has consumed me for 6 months now and got worse after i stopped taking my celexa and klonopin.

I wake up everyday all day and wonder if i'm really me period. It's different from simply feeling detached. I question my very existence all day and am left with an odd feeling like my brain is trying to answer a question it will never be able to answer. If i didn't exist i would be dead but the thought is with me all day. Is this O.C.D.? How do i reverse this?

Max

[ems43]

Hi Max, I am sorry you are struggling so at the moment. I definetly don't think it is insanity- it sounds to me like depersonalisation. I have times with this when even thinking of the "self", eg, what makes me who i am , what i look like, what I enjoy terrifies me and also question if I am really me ( and who is me??). I think this kind of exsistential thinking is really common in depersonsalition. Have a look in google and you will see some the symptoms you describe. xx

[Max G]

EMS43 I have lost interest in everything i use to love to do. I have zero drive to do anything anymore and don't know why. I try to figure out whats wrong with me all day. Now i'm convinced i'm completely normal but something is off. It's like i'm aware of nothing literally.

I just want everyone to know other then this feeling i'm completely fine as far as seeing people and the environment. I don't see things or hears things either. I just got trapped in this thought of "am i really me" and can't seem to shake it. It's all I talk about to my wife. If anyone else suffers from this please give me some advice?

Max

[ladybird64]

Hi Max and :welcome:

I think many of us have had these feelings at some point or another, they are one of the nasties things about having anxiety.

Can I suggest you use the search function and look up depersonalisation/derealisation? Search is at top of the page. :)

There are loads of posts about it so maybe have a read. I can promise you it is definitely not insanity!

[Maj]

I remember when I felt at my worst, escaping to the toilet at work, closing the door, and thinking "who the hell am I?" It's horrible when you feel bad and doubt yourself and your existence, but you will get over this, I promise you. Accept that it's part of anxiety/depression. Try not to put too much importance on it and don't try to analyze it too much because believe me, it will go. x

[ems43]

max, honestly, i really can relate to what you are saying and know it is sheer hell at times. It sounds like you are having intrusive thoughts about " who am i, is this really me" which i also have. Mine are also have the world like " is the world real". It really does sound like dp/ dr to me Max, obviously with intrusive thoughts and a lot of introspection. I too feel i am constANTLY stuck in my own mind, introspecting, analysing my own thoughts, doubting myself, it is utterly exhausting. are you getting any proffesional support at the mo? have you tried distraction technqiues to try and help the introspection? I find this really does help.
Max, a few weeks ago I ended up in a and e telling the doctors i thought i was psychotc/ losing my mind. I have since seen a psychiatrist who told me that this is def dp/ dr... he also said that the reason he knew it was was because it is so very very common for people with anxiety/ depression to question if they are losing their mind/ their sense of self... it actually doesn't happen in psychosis. If you were psychotic, it would be other people that noticed you were behaving oddly/ strange, you simply would not know or think to ask for help. xx

[ems43]

and i guess the trying to figure out what wrong with you all day means that you get stuck in your own mind, thoughts spiral, you get more anxiety. As an experirment, why not try doing something that you really have to pay attention on, eg, do you play an insturment, or play a computer game? x

[Max G]

I went to my pyschologist and he thinks it's Generalized Anxiety Disorder. it's like instead of me being me the way i was before ever having anxiety (well being aware of it). All I do now is question living. It's like I question living my life instead of just living it. Meaning questioning how i feel, questioning everything i would do if i was my old self. My psychologist said meds wouldn't really help.

[DavidJ85]

I'm exactly the same. I wonder who I am and look at myself in the mirror. Then I look around at the world and just nothing seems right to me anymore.

It's like I think I'm trapped on this planet with a load of strange people and then fear and anxiety take over and I'm scared of everything.

It sucks!

[jen2503]

I'm exactly the same. I wonder who I am and look at myself in the mirror. Then I look around at the world and just nothing seems right to me anymore.

It's like I think I'm trapped on this planet with a load of strange people and then fear and anxiety take over and I'm scared of everything.

It sucks!


I feel like that sometimes but not because of my anxiety. i remember has a very young girl, about 10 years old wondering why 'i' am me. why am 'i' in this body. why can i hear my on thoughts but not others. i know that sounds odd but it is really weird sometimes. i know im a human being, i know i was born on this planet ect ect but sometimes i feel like im not suposed to be here or that ive been put in the wrong place with the wrong people.

its hard to explain.

but none of you are alone. :D xx