It's all getting a bit much.

[shelli1980]

I thought I was getting better, really really better. 9 months ago everything was good I was still seeing my CBT therapist but we were talking about me getting back into work somehow. My boyfriend and I decided to set a date for our wedding and all was good.

It started going downhill there and then, I wanted a small wedding, go to the registry office and have a nice meal afterwards with our immediate family followed by a couple of nights in a nice hotel. My mum offered to pay for the meal and it all went downhill from there, next thing I knew I bridesmaids (she asked my friend and sister for me) a hotel function room booked all without even asking me. I wanted a small wedding to combat any additonal wedding stress and everytime I bring it up she tells me if she cancels it will be me who has to pay the cancellation fee which is about £1k so close to the date. I didn't want dancing and really really lost it when she told me about a cheap DJ so we didn't talk for a couple of days but she then phoned me up telling me I needed more invites as the guest list had swelled from 15 to 60. Now everyone keeps telling me it will be boring at night with no dancing but its the one thing I'm holding my ground on but its really really stressful, I feel like people are coming at me from all angles. I'm thinking about eloping but I'm too scared to fly.

The next issue is my neighbour who is making my life with all the noise she makes. She plays her music stupid loud until about 9pm, either that or the telly. Worst of all is the constant banging of the door. We share a hall and all through the night her daughter is back and forth as she can't smoke inside every time slamming the door off it's hinges. I'm getting next to no sleep and my anxiety is 10x worse when I'm sleep deprived. I tried to be nice and ask her to try closing the door a bit quieter as it was waking me up a lot but the next night I got woke up with a really loud bang, I heard giggling in the hall, she said "do you think that was quiet enough? Oh well better do it again to make sure" and slams it again. The daughter gets home from work at 10pm and doesn't go to sleep until 5am so the constant banging goes on up until then.

They belittle me whenever they can, hide the red card things you get from royal mail so that it gets sent back to the sender, call out scrounger whenever they have a drink in them, threatened to change the lock on the door (so I couldn't get in) we share if I carried out my threat to report them to the landlord, they waxed up the rail so my boyfriend who really relies on it as he has back issues nearly went flying and hurt his back so bad he couldn't get out of bed for a week. It all started because she was refused HB when she gave up her job as her daughter makes enough and she hates that I get HB and DLA. We got on at first but all she did was ask me about my symptoms and I later found out it was so she could tell the doctor the same to get signed off work (she has no shame she told me all about it and got offended when I said I didn't think that was right- if she was anxious she should have been honest I told her).

I honestly don't know what to do, I think it will get better the wedding will be done with, mrs and ms hell will get evicted (landlord has started proceedings without me "grassing" as she stopped paying rent) but I don't know how I can possibly get through it. My head is always sore, my teeth hurt from grinding them together, my hands are cut to ribbons from when I clench my fists and I look a mess from lack of sleep. Sorry for going on and on and on but I just really needed to rant.

[Jaco45er]

Wow you are having a rough time :(

I bet you wish you just sneaked off and got married, but a little late now. Sounds like your mother is seeing it as her event, but I imagine she is just a proud (if not, a little over powering) mother. I am tempted to say, try to accept the wedding day, it's just one day you have to get through, and you never know, you may look back and wonder why you were so anxious beforehand?

I do understand though, I dislike being the centre of attention, I tend to go to parties, but never have one myself.

As for Mrs & ms Hell. You have tried to be nice and they are ridiculing you. Now it maybe that they have enough rope to hang themselves already (falling behind on the rent) and you could wait to see the outcome. Or you could have a word with the landlord, if I was the landlord and had bad paying tenants, I would want all ammo I could get to get them out.

Try not to conftront them more though, if you are anxious, the stress not help you.

I had a neighbour once, who came out of prison and rented next door, he would go out at 8 pm and leave his music on a loud loop till he came home at 2 am, all this after we had words about his general anti-social behaviour. Mind you, it all ended in tears (his I am happy to say).

I really can't say much more about the wedding, maybe some others might have better advice, but whatever happens I hope it goes well.

TC

Jaco

[shelli1980]

Thanks Jaco, I did feel a little bit better during the day but I slept for most of it but I know she will be home soon so dreading the crashes and bangs.

Going to try to speak to my mum tomorrow about the wedding if she will listen. I think she thinks we are having a small wedding because of money when really it's because I can't handle a big crowd of people- most I barely know. At my brothers wedding she had a list of 80 people that she just had to invite, my brother and SIL had about 150 people there and for most of the day I couldn't even breath and was outside most of the day trying to get away. I didn't want my day to be like that but I don't think she gets it really. She's a "pull yourself together" type.