tbs152
10-08-10, 22:24
Hi everyone
First off, some background. A year or two ago I was on meds (ecitalopram) twice over 4 months. The second time I succumbed to 'suicidal ideation', which is essentially when you become obesessed with it without any desire to carry it out. Suffice to say it scared the bejesus out of me.
A couple of years on and it's been under control and has 99% vanished. Suddenly however, during a recent anxiety relapse, I've been having these scary thoughts again. Let me make this clear - I am not actively suicidal and do not want to die. I have a great life and lots I want to do. I'm just scared to hell that I'll commit suicide! How irrational is that?
Let's say I'm alone, if the topic pops in to my head, I'll start to obsess about it and it scares me. Even seeing the word scares me. I hate it!
Can anyone help? I've tried CBT techniques which work well with GAD but aren't very good at addressing this fear - I can't exactly use exposure therapy with this one!
Any help on getting rid of this haunting fear would be fantastic.
Thanks to everyone in advance!
First off, some background. A year or two ago I was on meds (ecitalopram) twice over 4 months. The second time I succumbed to 'suicidal ideation', which is essentially when you become obesessed with it without any desire to carry it out. Suffice to say it scared the bejesus out of me.
A couple of years on and it's been under control and has 99% vanished. Suddenly however, during a recent anxiety relapse, I've been having these scary thoughts again. Let me make this clear - I am not actively suicidal and do not want to die. I have a great life and lots I want to do. I'm just scared to hell that I'll commit suicide! How irrational is that?
Let's say I'm alone, if the topic pops in to my head, I'll start to obsess about it and it scares me. Even seeing the word scares me. I hate it!
Can anyone help? I've tried CBT techniques which work well with GAD but aren't very good at addressing this fear - I can't exactly use exposure therapy with this one!
Any help on getting rid of this haunting fear would be fantastic.
Thanks to everyone in advance!