View Full Version : hello? im new..
er... hello. im new here.my name is louise and im 26. ive always been quite a anxious person, but its gotten a lot worse the last 4 weeks. had a bit of a bad year, but i thought i was doing quite well, coping with everything.. but apparently not! started having what ive been told are panic attacks, (been to hospital 4 times, lots of tests etc) ive just been put on beta blockers, that arent really having much effect. i cant leave the house because my heart starts racing,i feel dizzy,shaky, chest pains, and i think im about to have a heart attack, ive missed my university interviews, i probably wont finish my college course this year, (way too far behind now)i couldnt finish the orders that i had for xmas, so no cash, i cant drive, my life has just came to a full stop. im pretty much just lying on the couch all day hoping im not about to pop my clogs. i cant seem to calm down at all. on the positive side, i have been able to watch quite a lot of daytime tv! im really glad to have found this website, and i feel a little better, just really glad to know im not alone!
Hi loli1982
We just wanted to welcome you aboard to NMP. We hope you enjoy your stay here and get all the support and advice you need.
Please take some time to read the website articles on the left as well for loads of advice and tips.
Hi Loli1982
I've just replied to you on the " anyone from glasgow" thread.
Just read your introduction.
I'm 27 and have been suffering anxiety and panic attacks for around 12 weeks, it all started with a huge panic attack that came from nowhere and lasted hours - i was out in the street in my pj's and wanted to go to a & E. Went to the docs and got beta blockers as well - they help slow your heart rate down and stop the big panics coming back but they don't seem to take away the constant anxiety.
My doc put me on citralopram just over 2 weeks ago and they have helped me so far (the first few days were not great) but i am starting to feel a wee bit normal again. the citraolpram seem to take away the constant knot in the stomach and i'm still using the beta blockers when i need them.
I've also found that making a few life changes has helped, stopped smoking, no alcohol, relaxation cd, breathing etc. (recommended by a stress counselor that i saw twice)
I only found this website a few weeks ago and i'm finding it great - the people are lovely and everyone offers support and advice - it's really good to hear from people that are in the same boat - i have a lot of good friends and a supportive partner - but nobody really knows what it's like until they have been there - i've got a daughter and believe me childbirth is nowhere near as scary as anxiety and panic attacks!!!
I hope you start feeling better soon - try and take little steps each day. Go back to your doc if you don't improve soon.
Have a lovely christmas.
AJS:)
Louise, I went through the same exact thing as you are describing. I was diagnosed with agoraphobia. It was a long time ago, and I recovered. I read all of Claire Weeke's books and they helped me tremendously. Stay strong. You will beat this.
hi, thanks really hoping to get past this quickly, cant believe its got this bad this quick, 4 weeks ago i was a full time student, drove to glasgow every day, ran my own wee workshop and had things to look forward to. now i freak out when someone walks past the window. i used to have sort of anxiety attacks, where my heart would race, but i could always calm myself down. on the positive side im getting really good at spider solitaire! thanks again for taking the time to reply, and have a good xmas.
Hi, welcome.
Like you, I was coping fairly well with life despite stress and anxiety till I suddenly stopped being able to cope. It sounds like you've got a lot of things to worry about but for now, treat it like you've got flu or something, give yourself the time to rest and recover without constantly worrying about when you're going to be able to live life at full speed. You will be able to get back into doing more things with time and support but you probably won't be able to dive back into your busy life straight away. For now, concentrate on the here and now and making little steps forward because worrying about the bigger picture will only make you more panicky :hugs: Your health and wellbeing is most important and remember that. There's lots of supportive people here, you'll be glad you found the site :)
magpie girl
26-12-09, 17:45
hi loli and :welcome: i found this site very helpful and the people are great,everyones hear to listen and help with friendly advice.
Welcome loli! I hope you can find lots of advice here, and make some good friends. :welcome:
hello again, feeling slightly better today, actually got off the couch! am sadly proud of myself!! going wandering round the house every hour or so, out to the back door etc. tommorow....bottom of the drive! thanks again for all the messages, im finding this website brilliant, and everyones so nice.
Deepest Blue
26-12-09, 22:59
Hey ya and welcome to NMP.
Take Care.
didnt make it to the bottom of the drive. oh well. am really sick of this. if i understand that its anxiety and panic attacks, im not having a heart attack/dvt/ 101 other horrible ways die, why cant i calm down. why cant i open the curtains. why cant i do anything. i also seem to have lost me. that sounds daft but everything that makes me, me (inprefect as it was) has gone. the way i think has completely changed, the way i look at things. the way i react. yup, i was a worrier before, had a few anxiety attacks, didnt really have any friends, didnt go out to pubs or clubs, but i still had my version of life. i had made my peace with it, i was never going to be confident, popular or socable, but in my own way i was coping. this year ive split up with my long term partner, lost my job and my house(that was a fun day) been in a bad car crash, had cancer scare, been in and out hospital for tests, had all my top teeth out,crazy stepdad , but i coped with all this. yup was not fun, but i got through it. now, when things had kind of leveled out, everything suddenly implodes. what the h*ll! i cant think, i cant draw, i cant listen to my music, or watch my tv programs. i cant deal with any of my college or buisness stuff, or talk to anyone. seriously, this is horrible. wow, that was some rant! sorry to anyone reading this!! am having a bad day.
didnt make it to the bottom of the drive. oh well. am really sick of this. if i understand that its anxiety and panic attacks, im not having a heart attack/dvt/ 101 other horrible ways die, why cant i calm down. why cant i open the curtains. why cant i do anything. i also seem to have lost me. that sounds daft but everything that makes me, me (inprefect as it was) has gone. the way i think has completely changed, the way i look at things. the way i react. yup, i was a worrier before, had a few anxiety attacks, didnt really have any friends, didnt go out to pubs or clubs, but i still had my version of life. i had made my peace with it, i was never going to be confident, popular or socable, but in my own way i was coping. this year ive split up with my long term partner, lost my job and my house(that was a fun day) been in a bad car crash, had cancer scare, been in and out hospital for tests, had all my top teeth out,crazy stepdad , but i coped with all this. yup was not fun, but i got through it. now, when things had kind of leveled out, everything suddenly implodes. what the h*ll! i cant think, i cant draw, i cant listen to my music, or watch my tv programs. i cant deal with any of my college or buisness stuff, or talk to anyone. seriously, this is horrible. wow, that was some rant! sorry to anyone reading this!! am having a bad day.
Its like reading what's in my mind lol except I have been this way since I was a child. I think we need to work on 1 thing at a time and try not to worry about everything we are unable to accomplish at this moment in time.
You have just accomplished one thing because you have engaged me in a conversation lol so id say that qualifies as talking to someone. :yesyes:
Want to do a deal? And I'm serious! We both get up put on our shoes, trainers, slippers lol whatever and we take a trip to the end of our drive then return to the house. I think what ill do is slow my breathing (easier said than done i know) lol and think about you while I'm doing it, ill use you as my motivation and you do the same with me.
Are you ready?!?!?
The second I see your reply I am going for it!
Sparks.
The anticipation is killing me respond damn you hahaha :D
If you use MSN I am more than happy to pm you my details and we can do this on there. lol I'm up for it, lets rock and roll Louise. :shades: lol
Sparks.
ok. will attempt the bottom of the drive.. ha ha.. this could go badly.
ok. will attempt the bottom of the drive.. ha ha.. this could go badly.
haha ok I'm going for it now....the door better not close when i leave the house! :D
Sparks.
tadaaaaaa!!!!!! been to the bottom of the drive (ish) got 3/4 of the way there, but theres people in the street, and i was adventuring in my jams!! strangely pleased with myself! am shaky and my hearts thumping but i did it!! didtnt realise it was as cold outside tho! may put some more clothes on the next time, ha ha. goin to take me a while to calm down now but sod it. thank you!! (and good point, i am talking to you)
haha outstanding, well done Louise I left as soon as I saw your reply I didn't give myself anytime to think about the negative effects I just kept thinking of you doing exactly the same thing as me and I'm happy to say...........it was a success lol I feel so relieved and happy now:yahoo:lol.
I stood at the end of my drive at the gate for about 30 seconds it felt so good lol I'm very excited, I'm shaking and feel like I could talk all night now lol.
I didn't put anything on my feet and stood in some mud lol :mad: but not even that can get me down at the moment!
Sparks.
That was great! Followed that all the
way! If it helps at all 8 weeks ago I was struggling to leave my house, palpatations, sweaty palms and shakes. Could not cope at all, with almost anything strange things like seeing my Labrador walk around set off a panic because it was just one more thing to deal with! Over the weeks I have gotten much better by doing deals exactly like what you have done! Little things like walking to the shop or sitting ( not driving at first) in a car, slowly it happened. I now drive around walk the dog go see my family. I am soo pleased for you!! What's the next challenge lol
Jim
I smiled the whole time I read about "the challenge." The next time you do it, count me in. I think it would be so cool to think of people doing the same thing in support of one another. Don't forget, I'm an ocean away too!
hi and welcome to nmp, u will find lots of great information and support here, as well as making new friends too, this site is the best hugs xxxx
yup, much thanks to sparkie for his great idea!!
tomorrow, im going to go to the bottom of the drive and stand for a minute, (dressed this time, its snowing here!) might start a new thread and see if anyone else wants to join in. it definately helps knowing theres someone else doing the same thing at the same time,not so alone! i feel so much better for doing it as well.
yup, much thanks to sparkie for his great idea!!
tomorrow, im going to go to the bottom of the drive and stand for a minute, (dressed this time, its snowing here!) might start a new thread and see if anyone else wants to join in. it definately helps knowing theres someone else doing the same thing at the same time,not so alone! i feel so much better for doing it as well.
Thanks to you for doing it with me! So we are going to the bottom of the drive and staying there for a few minutes tomorrow. My heart is already starting to race but we shall do it together.
A thread dedicated to it sounds like a great idea, it seems like a few people might be interested in joining us. :D
Sparks.
That was great! Followed that all the
way! If it helps at all 8 weeks ago I was struggling to leave my house, palpatations, sweaty palms and shakes. Could not cope at all, with almost anything strange things like seeing my Labrador walk around set off a panic because it was just one more thing to deal with! Over the weeks I have gotten much better by doing deals exactly like what you have done! Little things like walking to the shop or sitting ( not driving at first) in a car, slowly it happened. I now drive around walk the dog go see my family. I am soo pleased for you!! What's the next challenge lol
Jim
Id love to be able to take my dog out, bless him i feel awful for not being able to take him out. Without him I would truly be alone, I love the little guy. :)
Well done to you Jim for making such progress, keep it up!
Sparks.
Veronica H
27-12-09, 21:35
:welcome:loli so glad you are going outside.There is a brilliant book by Dr Claire Weekes;SELF HELP FOR YOUR NERVES ISBN 0-7225-3155-9.This is available from the NMP shop. Dr Weekes was a physician and scientist. She was a fellow sufferer (nominated for the nobel prize for medicine) and really understood this illness. She took the mystery out of it, and devised a simple programme for recovery. I can't recommend this enough. This will get better.
Here is a link to her site;
http://www.drclaireweekes.co.uk/
Veronicax
Did anyone go down the drive today? lol I did and I stood at the end for a few minutes then walked back in. I made sure I put something on my feet this time though in case I stood in more mud like yesterday. :D
I found it a much more difficult this time though cause I really felt alone while I was doing it.
What we did yesterday definitely helped me, I really missed the communication and support this time, I was on MSN waiting for someone to come on..Louise :whistles: hahahaha.
But yeah I'm happy that in the end I managed to do it. :yesyes:
Sparks.
hello. sorry wasnt here earlier. huge congrats that you did it though!!! good you remembered the shoes this time as well! :D
had a crap day, someone i used to know txted me to go for a drink, set off a whole day of panic, dont want to text back that i cant go out the house, dont want to lie, definately cant go. grrrrrrr.. what to do? think ill just do the adult thing and hide from the phone!!! ha ha..
hello again. my pity party continues. im really convinced im going to die at any minuit. ive had a funny feeling under my ribs, which i posted about yesterday, and yup, other people have the same thing. now its sore. not agony sore, its probably my ibs, the sensible bit at the front of my head is going your fine, its ibs, you had soup, the bit at the back is telling me thats my liver is about to explode, and that if i move too much, itl pop. now im scared to get off the couch or move, i cant stop crying, which is making me worse (sobbing may make it pop, when i say pop i mean the vein going in or out, not made my mind up on that yet.) just had a huge argument with my dad, didnt really help anything, ran out of cigs, no one will buy me more, they think this will force me out of the house, so in a hour im going to be really freaking out, nicotine withdrawel doesnt suit me. dont really think i can cope with this anymore. im really convinced im about to die, i keep thinking about all the people ive known who have passed, especially the ones that didnt involve quietly in their sleep, and all the gory ways people can go, i get over one obsssion, it was dvts that would travel if i moved too much the other day, i had no symptoms of dvt, apart from the slightly sore leg, so i knew that i was being daft, but the little voice at the back just wont shut up. the dvt thing passed, i went to the shop, and then, the livers going to go. i feel like im just waiting to die, and the only way to prevent it is to sit as still as possible. so no stretching, bending, twisting, moving. just sit and stare at the wall.(or the laptop, as is at the mo) i feel slightly better for writing this sorry 4 this, just really need to vent.
hi just to let you know i am thinking about you, this will pass and your going to be fine.
you may not feel stong at the moment but YOU ARE calmness will come soon,
love crissyxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Too bad we don't live nearer to each other. We could sit on the couch and have our pity party together -- that is if either of us could leave our own couches! I'm still waking withh the bad shakes and it sets up the whole day for misery. I'm SURE I have some dread disease that they can't find. Just laying on the couch with the laptop feeling dizzy and wondering what's next.
You're not alone, Louise! This too shall pass, and at some point, we will be able to laugh about it.:)
thank god for laptops, ha ha. feeling a wee bit better now, persuaded someone to get me cigs, so at least im not havin nicotine withdrawl aswell! also managed to stop bubbling! thanks for the messages, good to know im not alone :)
your no way alone , your doing great i have been without wine for 2 weeks used to drink a bottle+ anight but on citralopam so giving it a chance to work 1 month know but still anxious silly when all we want is to feel calm i am sure one day life will get better for us all
special thoughts of calmness and peace are being sent to you
love crissy
I'm so glad you got someone to get you cigs. I was afraid to even mention it as I sat here puffing away! My daughter went out and got me a carton a few days ago, and I keep thinking that I'll be well enough to get more when I need them! As of now, too dizzy to get off the couch!
Thinking of you! I just love speaking with people from different countries!
Edited to add: Crissy (my daughter's name also and spelled the same too) you are doing great with the wine! Keep it up. Hugs!
congrats on giving up the wine crissy! itl be worth it when the tabs kick in, hope you feel better soon :)
an i hope the dizzyness passes soon corinne, and yeah, i keep forgetting the people im talking to arent all in scotland! hope ur up and about before your carton runs out! ive got 40 cigs, after that ive to go and buy my own, (or find a shop that delivers!! :yesyes:)
I hate to bother my daughter much, although bless her, she'd do anything for me. She and her hubby have three boys and she is a very involved mom. Although we live in the same city, we do not live closeby. I am in the far east township and she is in the north township -- as far as you can get without entering another city.
I haven't been this bad in a long while. The worry about my test results and what horrid thing they've found is what is bringing it on. Then if they tell me all tests were normal, I have about a dozen things that I think could be wrong to tell her about. Thank God my doctor is compassionate and puts up with fools like me!:)
Oh well, we will just plug on and figure that we are one day closer to recovery.
i can understand what you mean about the tests, im waiting to hear the results of a 24 hour heart moniter, since the 12th of dec, i phoned the hospital about this the other day, only to be told that no ones looked at the tests yet! people keep telling me its just anxiety and panic attacks, but the little voice is saying it could still be heart related, and ive also got a huge list of things to tell the doc on tuesday! its great your still so close to your daughter, even though you live so far apart. it must make a huge difference! anyway, hope you feel better soon! and i hope all goes well with your test results :D
Southern_Belle
03-01-10, 00:49
Hi Louise,
Welcome to NMP. Many here will understand how you are feeling and will give their support. So glad you found us.
Best wishes,
Laura
[QUOTE=loli1982;595885]i can understand what you mean about the tests, im waiting to hear the results of a 24 hour heart moniter, since the 12th of dec, i phoned the hospital about this the other day, only to be told that no ones looked at the tests yet! people keep telling me its just anxiety and panic attacks, but the little voice is saying it could still be heart related, and ive also got a huge list of things to tell the doc on tuesday! its great your still so close to your daughter, even though you live so far apart. it must make a huge difference! anyway, hope you feel better soon! and i hope all goes well with your test results :D[/QUOTE
I hope you get the results of you heart moniter test really soon. It's miserable waiting! I'm sure everything will be normal. Thanks for the good wishes!
Hi Loli
Sorry to hear of your struggle with anxiety, i'm 25 and it sounds a sililar story to me. its horrible but a comfort to know others here know how you feel. Someone mentioned Claire Weekes, she has been a life saver for me when I have bad days you should read some of her books. I have had panic attacks since I was 5 :( and since I read her self help books I lost the panic attacks for years. unfortunatley I have been running myself in the ground, work, work work and they came back and turned back to the books again lol and hoping to friends on here who understand. The racing heart thing awful its that dreaded adrenalin! but its like my doc said its just the same as someone running for a bus. I hope things get better for you and tap me a message if you want to talk x
Hi again Loli
I had the 24 hour holter too as I was terrified my ticker was dodgy oh and had about 7 ecg's everyone came back clear. its amazing how many people who suffer with anxiety think its their heart, I hope it all comes back clear for you sweetie!
Mr Parfect
30-01-10, 04:10
Hi Loli, welcome to NMP.
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