mind chatter?

[waterfall]

hi all
currently in my 11th week of Cit [now at 30mg], and just wondering if anyone experiences a constant rush of thoughts in your head [esp in the mornings?!] and if so is that the 'mind chatter' that people speak of??

[BunnyMazonas]

That sounds a lot like me. I call it the "annoying twit" - that voice that keeps going and going and going. Personally I had that before and have found my twit started to quieten down since I started the pills, but from what I understand they effect everyone differently.

I guess someone more experienced with this stuff on here might be able to tell you more :S

[Budgie]

Hi Waterfall! :hugs:

Yes, I've had this happen, too. It can be kind of scary really... but, before \I sarted taking cit, I used to have this happen very often, especially at nights so I didn't sleep, but now, I get these big mind buzzing moments, but also some nice, calm times. :yesyes:

[Gareth]

Hi waterfall,

I certainly feel that waking up first thing is one of the worst times. I get all the worst feelings of dread then and my mind is racing at 1,000mph - I think its because I haven't slept well and I'm exhausted so it feels like the day is going to be really hard work. I find the best thing to do is just get out of bed and get on with the day, don't lie there letting your brain race away. You need distraction, get up and have breakfast and get going!

all the best,
Gareth

[NoPoet]

The best supplement for mind chatter in my experience is inositol (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=64229). This is the one thing I take that seems to reduce my negative and repetitive thinking. I notice a very positive difference in my thoughts and feelings when I am taking inositol.

[waterfall]

Thanks poet!
how does one procure such a thing?
ta

[waterfall]

oops! i just found your thread about it!! thanks ignore my last ramblings...

[NoPoet]

No worries mate!

I find my mind chatter is probably the thing that has always done the most damage. I can have some pretty intelligent debates with myself (my mates will find that hard to believe) and I am sometimes scared of myself. However, the chatterbox is mostly an expression of inner fears that need to be dealt with, and as such it could be argued that the chatterbox is trying to help you. It just goes about it the wrong way.

[waterfall]

thanks poet
i also find the being 'disconnected/disengaged' from reality quite difficult to come to terms with....did that happen to you??
i had [perhaps niavely] thought that since i am now in my 12th wk,that i would be 'back to my old self' as it were...perhaps i just need to be a bit more patient???

[NoPoet]

Trust me Waterfall, you won't get back to your old self overnight. Setting yourself that target will make you feel worse when it doesn't happen. Recovery is a journey with many steps, so keep up the stepping! One day you will start to recognise yourself again!

I lost the "disconnected" feeling when I realised the world hadn't changed -- I was just seeing it differently. Too many things in my life were new and unexpected, and that got on top of me because most of the events made me unhappy. I started feeling like I was living on an alien planet and I wondered how other people could laugh and go out and carry on as normal.

One day I suddenly realised that I had changed because of what I'd gone through. I had experiences that were alien to me - deaths, funerals, foreign travel, redundancy from a hateful job, worries about my family's health - and I interpreted it as though the whole world was different, which was totally the wrong way to think about it. (But it is understandable! Nobody should blame themselves for interpreting things badly -- instead they should try to change it so they interpret things positively!)

Life doesn't care about our plans. Life happens. Life is a neutral force which simply wants to exist. Therefore, happy human beings are the ones who roll with the punches and allow themselves to enjoy the good times. So you should never take anything for granted; things will change, things will be different, and we need to allow ourselves to change with them, because that means we're growing. It means we're living. And that is what life is all about.

So now people I care about have died, it has shown me to stop taking my friends and family for granted. Now that I've experienced the worst of anxiety, I enjoy the good times more than I ever have in my life. Now that I've seen suffering, it has made me determined to stamp suffering out and has given my life purpose and direction that was never there before.

[pheetuz]

I definately feel disengaged from the world but not all the time, its just sometimes, like i will be doing something perfectly normal, like speaking to friends and then all of a sudden get a "whoooaaa, whats going on, is this real feeling in my head" and then i get a rush of negative thoughts which i try to quickly counter by telling myself that everythings ok, that im ok and that everything is perfectly normal around me and its just me adjusting to new medication and as poet said so well, a new way of thinking about what is going on around me. Find this helps alot.

These unreality spells have started happening less frequently as my body has been adjusting to the citalopram but they still happen more often than i would like (im only on week 8 or 9).

I do find that they seem to happen more often when im tired or hungry tho so keeping well rested helps, although that can be easier said than done as getting a good nights sleep can be difficult, at least for me, at the best of times.

Just out of interest, is your disengagement like what i described above or is it more general, like a feeling that everything just doesnt feel right?? Because i have been getting that aswell but i find that easier to deal with that the intense feeling i get sometimes.

Hope these feeling pass quickly for you :)

/Pete

[waterfall]

hi Pete
both of what you have explained i also get!!
am now in 12th week and as you said had hoped they would be less frequent now.
i continue to have a dread that at some point i will lose a 'grip on reality' and that frightens me also.
PS memory is shot to hell as an added thing....aint depression funny [or not!!]
d

[pheetuz]

Yeah i was hoping that they would have calmed down a bit by now, been having a few bad days recently but the good days help me through them. I have exactly the same dread as that but find that coming on here helps alot, its a very wierd feeling tho, cant really explain it to anyone around me so its kind of comforting to know im not the only one.

My memory is fked aswell, will do stuff, simple stuff, like cooking and completely forget that ive done it.
Or get somewhere and not be able to remember the journey there, which i know can be easily done on a normal day, kinda like autopilot but it feels a bit disconcerting.

Cant wait to get started on CBT and get off this citalopram, got some inositol today which i think should help with the anxiety and feelings of dread, fingers crossed :)

/Pete