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jude uk
12-10-09, 22:28
One of the main issues with socializing is having the ability to have a conversation on a wide variety of subjects. I believe that most who have a social phobia find it difficult to talk because of this reason and because of this, the social phobia becomes all consuming.

Thoughts that may come;
People dont like me because,

I have nothing to say
I dont like myself
I think others are more interesting than me

So for the most part those with a social phobia retreat more and more into themselves and that downward spiral becomes more difficult to over-come but it can be over-come.

When I was in a therapy group I was asked to say something about myself in front of the others in the group and this is what I can recall of what I said.
I suffer from panic attacks
I suffer from anxiety
I suffer from agoraphobia
I dont like being in groups
I find it hard to talk etc etc

Now no one said what I had to say or what the others had to say but the one thing that we all had in common was we only told about what we suffered from. We never said that we liked golf, or enjoyed music or liked sci-fi movies etc.

What the therapy group brought out was, we are more than just our problems. Okay its a small twist on how we feel but the aim was to see that our problems are just a small part of our lives and there is a lot more to each one of us.


Sometime ago I bought a book called HOW TO TALK TO ANYONE!
The author is Leil Lowndes and its a book I would recommend everyone to read.

JohnLuke300
12-10-09, 23:15
Hi Judeswan,

When you say a social phobia do you mean a specific social phobia or generalized social phobia?

I have generalized social phobia and I can have a panic attack from using a cash machine or filling in a form. These are common social phobia problems because generalized social phobia I think is more about protocols than the amount of subjects to talk about. Social phobia sufferers fear making mistakes in social situations that might be perceived negatively by the people that observe them. When I mention protocols I refer to knowing the procedure to follow in a certain social situation. For example, using the cash machine you need to know how it is used and what to do if you make an error or if I was on a date it would be what subjects were appropriate to talk about. If I don't become avoidant and place myself in these situations then I will learn the protocols and my anxiety starts to diminish in that situation. I understand what you are getting at though. Having a broad range of topics to talk about can help you to feel more socially prepared but I think social phobia is a combination of many problems not just one major one.

John

jude uk
12-10-09, 23:35
John thats a great point and one we should all be aware of because we do tend to lump them all together