Panicaholic
08-10-09, 15:18
Hey guys,
Went to see my psychologist 2 days ago and she said she is going to start CBT with me next week. She said I have got mild signs of OCD mostly obsessive thoughts. Most recently-as from monday- I have had the total fear I may have sexually abused my brother. I suddenly had this thought I had abused my brother when we were playing when we were younger. We used to play mummies and daddies and have vague recollections of us (me. my younger sister and my younger brother) re-enacting sex basically one of us lying on top of one another and then one of us had a baby. I can't remember what age I was. I freaked out and asked my sister if she remembers anything about this and all she can remember was i was almost always the dad and never the "sex" part and I stopped playing with them at 11 (when I went to secondary school). She also said i never made her feel uncomfortable and she said as she studies physcology that if either her or my brother felt abused we wouldn't be as close as we are. That kind of comforted me but then I woke in a panic this morning that I sexually abused my brother seperatly. I have absolutely no memory of this and think this is just my anxiety/obsessive memory playing up. I texted my brother to ask if I had ever hurt him in the past and he said that I was the kindest sister and always protected him. However, I still have these horrible thoughts and don't know if I should ask him outright if I ever sexually abused him or just leave it. I have been so wound up have taken my dad's diazepam and have been thinking that i really can't take this anymore!!! I am meant to be going to Thailand in 3 weeks and all I can think is i don't deserve it.
Advice would be very much appreciated!
Fozzy
Went to see my psychologist 2 days ago and she said she is going to start CBT with me next week. She said I have got mild signs of OCD mostly obsessive thoughts. Most recently-as from monday- I have had the total fear I may have sexually abused my brother. I suddenly had this thought I had abused my brother when we were playing when we were younger. We used to play mummies and daddies and have vague recollections of us (me. my younger sister and my younger brother) re-enacting sex basically one of us lying on top of one another and then one of us had a baby. I can't remember what age I was. I freaked out and asked my sister if she remembers anything about this and all she can remember was i was almost always the dad and never the "sex" part and I stopped playing with them at 11 (when I went to secondary school). She also said i never made her feel uncomfortable and she said as she studies physcology that if either her or my brother felt abused we wouldn't be as close as we are. That kind of comforted me but then I woke in a panic this morning that I sexually abused my brother seperatly. I have absolutely no memory of this and think this is just my anxiety/obsessive memory playing up. I texted my brother to ask if I had ever hurt him in the past and he said that I was the kindest sister and always protected him. However, I still have these horrible thoughts and don't know if I should ask him outright if I ever sexually abused him or just leave it. I have been so wound up have taken my dad's diazepam and have been thinking that i really can't take this anymore!!! I am meant to be going to Thailand in 3 weeks and all I can think is i don't deserve it.
Advice would be very much appreciated!
Fozzy