Wife and text messaging !!!!

[psychocandy]

Some of you who know me from here, know that I do have the tendency to get worked up about silly things in my relationship. However, with my med change and other external factors, things have been MUCH better recently.

However, recently, something has been annoying me. Wife is friendly with a fella (john) from her past. Hes married with kids etc and lives not too far from us. Nice enough bloke. I've met him and his wife (amanda), we've been out for drinks with them. We've all been out as families together, they've babysat our son, we've babysat their kids etc. So no problems there. To be honest, wife is friendly with his wife too also.

Only thing is I never met someone who I though was more mobile text message mad than my wife. John is though. He must send, in the evenings and weekends, about 3-4 texts AN HOUR just talking about crap.

Now my wife, like I said, is pretty hot on texting and does spend a lot of time texting her other friends and also amanda, but nothing like the amount john texts (and she feels like she has to reply to be friendly).

Its getting to the point where she has to tell him shes going to bed, so she can watch TV in peace. Or shes got to text him to tell him we're going into a restaurant (at least she stops the texting then!).

Now, I know theres nothing at all going on, and I'd probably be just the same if it were one of her female friends but its just so annoying. It seems so unnecessary to me !!!!

Is it me being silly here and maybe a bit too controlling?

[PoppyC]

Hi
Is your wife bothered by how many texts he is sending? If she is then maybe your wife could just not answer every text he sends? The more she responds, the more it will encourage him. If she stops replying to every one then he will eventually get the message. Does he text you too?

[psychocandy]

Hi
Is your wife bothered by how many texts he is sending? If she is then maybe your wife could just not answer every text he sends? The more she responds, the more it will encourage him. If she stops replying to every one then he will eventually get the message. Does he text you too?

No, most of the time wife doesnt mind. Shes text mad too.

Thing is she feels it'd be rude to completely ignore him...

No, he doesnt text me but then they are both my wifes friends more than me. And I dont do text that often....

[psychocandy]

Had a chat with her last night about this. It seems that she does enjoy texting all her friends 99% of the time. She did admit that very occasionally she needs to tell John shes busy.

I did tell her it was annoying sometimes, but she agreed to restict it a bit if we're out or doing something. I guess thats fair enough. Maybe I just dont understand the joy of texting !!!! (I suppose wife feels same about World of Warcraft which I like).

[PoppyC]

Hi
I am glad you managed to talk about it and get it sorted out :)
and if your wife is showing you the texts her friends husband is sending her then there's no harm.
I am glad its all resolved for you.

[psychocandy]

Hi
I am glad you managed to talk about it and get it sorted out :)
and if your wife is showing you the texts her friends husband is sending her then there's no harm.
I am glad its all resolved for you.

Yeah. My wifes always very open and honest about everything she does. Sometimes she just doesnt understand why I get worked up about it.

As far as shes concerned, John is just a friend who is a good laugh. doesnt matter hes male.

[Gregor]

Aisshhh, texting... another pointless technological miracle! I'm with you, I can't understand the 'joy' which seems to come from texting constantly. I'll text if need be, but i dont get upset if they can't reply immediately and likewise with my friends.

I can't understand those who are obsessed by it.

Anyway, if you've sorted it then good.

[mau]

Some of you who know me from here, know that I do have the tendency to get worked up about silly things in my relationship. However, with my med change and other external factors, things have been MUCH better recently.

However, recently, something has been annoying me. Wife is friendly with a fella (john) from her past. Hes married with kids etc and lives not too far from us. Nice enough bloke. I've met him and his wife (amanda), we've been out for drinks with them. We've all been out as families together, they've babysat our son, we've babysat their kids etc. So no problems there. To be honest, wife is friendly with his wife too also.

Only thing is I never met someone who I though was more mobile text message mad than my wife. John is though. He must send, in the evenings and weekends, about 3-4 texts AN HOUR just talking about crap.

Now my wife, like I said, is pretty hot on texting and does spend a lot of time texting her other friends and also amanda, but nothing like the amount john texts (and she feels like she has to reply to be friendly).

Its getting to the point where she has to tell him shes going to bed, so she can watch TV in peace. Or shes got to text him to tell him we're going into a restaurant (at least she stops the texting then!).

Now, I know theres nothing at all going on, and I'd probably be just the same if it were one of her female friends but its just so annoying. It seems so unnecessary to me !!!!

Is it me being silly here and maybe a bit too controlling?
TBH, I can't comment on whether you are being silly or too controlling.

[andy123]

my best advice to you is for you to tell your wife that it bothers you, also let the guy john know that it bothers you, ask him how he would feel if you constently talked to his wife. sometimes friends overstep there bounds and you just have to calmly let them know that your uncomfortable with it and that you dont like it.

to me that is not being controling in anyway, you are expressing your feelings and being mature about it. good luck to you.

[eeyorelover]

With all the technology in our lives we just have to put limits on things just to get some peace and family time!
Personally everyone in my life knows I don't accept any phone calls, visitors, or IM correspondence before 9AM or after 9 PM.
I have flat out told anyone who knows me this so there is no mistake.

We all have to draw the line somewhere so that we can have time to ourselves.
It's not selfishness or rudeness, it's looking after our family and our own wellbeing!
Nothing is more important than that!!
xxx
Sandy

[psychocandy]

With all the technology in our lives we just have to put limits on things just to get some peace and family time!
Personally everyone in my life knows I don't accept any phone calls, visitors, or IM correspondence before 9AM or after 9 PM.
I have flat out told anyone who knows me this so there is no mistake.

We all have to draw the line somewhere so that we can have time to ourselves.
It's not selfishness or rudeness, it's looking after our family and our own wellbeing!
Nothing is more important than that!!
xxx
Sandy

Sandy,

Thats a really good idea...

Sold an old TV on ebay last week and gave the buyer my phone no so he could arrange collection. He phoned at 7am on Saturday morning !!! That I found was a bit much....