PhoenixGrey
20-12-08, 14:53
Right... I have started writing this post at least 8 or 9 times now, this time I WILL go through with it.
I feel like a muppet writing this down, and I feel even more ridiculous saying this but I need reassurance.
My health anxiety started over an actual worry over some symptoms I had - but that all cleared up - tests blah blah blah, everything sorted.
Since then I've been treated for depression and put on fluoxetine, and I was improving so much, but over the last few days Ive had oral thrush - one of the things that created the first doctors appointment, except this time it's lasted much longer, and i keep getting mouth ulcers. I can't stop myself worrying that I have diabetes (i have been getting up for the toilet every night for the last fortnight). Then the panic about diabetes subsides and I relax - even if I have diabetes it's something I can control right?!
Then I completely go back to my worrying about the future, about dying really early from some form of cancer, then comes the guilt about the worrying - if i'm worrying i'm not enjoying my life and then what if i do die early, ive wasted so much time worrying about it! I hate this circle! I know this has turned into a meaningless rant, but I'm seeing if anyone else gets this, if its not one thing its something else.
I worry about the future all the time, and with christmas I want the worry to be gone, then i just panic about new year - another year gone, what have i acheived and look at the time i've lost! I hate it! :weep: I lost lots of weight when this started, made me really happy, but now ive started eating non-stop. This isn't helped by the holidays - having nothing scheduled to do gives me time to think!
PS. Really sorry about the long long long post but I had to write it down.
I feel like a muppet writing this down, and I feel even more ridiculous saying this but I need reassurance.
My health anxiety started over an actual worry over some symptoms I had - but that all cleared up - tests blah blah blah, everything sorted.
Since then I've been treated for depression and put on fluoxetine, and I was improving so much, but over the last few days Ive had oral thrush - one of the things that created the first doctors appointment, except this time it's lasted much longer, and i keep getting mouth ulcers. I can't stop myself worrying that I have diabetes (i have been getting up for the toilet every night for the last fortnight). Then the panic about diabetes subsides and I relax - even if I have diabetes it's something I can control right?!
Then I completely go back to my worrying about the future, about dying really early from some form of cancer, then comes the guilt about the worrying - if i'm worrying i'm not enjoying my life and then what if i do die early, ive wasted so much time worrying about it! I hate this circle! I know this has turned into a meaningless rant, but I'm seeing if anyone else gets this, if its not one thing its something else.
I worry about the future all the time, and with christmas I want the worry to be gone, then i just panic about new year - another year gone, what have i acheived and look at the time i've lost! I hate it! :weep: I lost lots of weight when this started, made me really happy, but now ive started eating non-stop. This isn't helped by the holidays - having nothing scheduled to do gives me time to think!
PS. Really sorry about the long long long post but I had to write it down.