Hi I'm new - Health Anxiety/Phobia

[fee73]

Hi, my name's Fiona and I'm 35 years old, happily married, and mum to one gorgeous little boy who's 5 years old :) . My anxiety started just after my little boy was born in 2003. I suffered from Post Natal Depression which was never really treated properly. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I've been suffering from recurring bouts of anxiety about my health. Basically, I'm terrified of dying and leaving my lovely wee boy motherless. In particular I'm terrified of dying of cancer...in fact I'd even go as far as to say I'm a cancer-phobic. Every mole, ache, heavy period or pain is linked to cancer in my head :weep: .

I had a bad scare a few weeks ago where a lesion was found in my bowel after invetigations for abdominal pain that I'd been experiencing for nearly a year. I went to pieces before I even got the results and had myself dead and buried. Fortunately the lump turned out to be an inside out appendix which was removed. My surgeon said he's never seen this with a normal appendix...they're normally cancerous but told me "you don't have anything like that". I do have a kidney stone which is no doubt causing me some of the pain. I keep telling myself if there was anything suspicious going on there the CT scan of my abdomen and pelvis would have picked it up but the fears soon set in again.

In the past few weeks or so things have gone from bad to worse, I'm convinced cancer is hiding in me somewhere and its ruining my life. My husband goes away to work in the north of Scotland regularly and I'm convinced I'm going to get a call telling me he's been involved in an accident on the way there. He doesn't even drive and I know his colleague drives carefully. If he gets up during the night I worry he'll fall down the stairs and injure himself.

The sad thing is, I've not been able to tell anyone about all of this. I've lost faith in my doctor and don't feel comfortable discussing anything with him/her and my husband is very much a "head in the sand" type bloke. My parents are a great support so far as my son's concerned but I don't want to worry them or have them thinking I'm some sort of nutter. I know I'm ill and need help but not sure where to look. If anyone has any suggestions I'd be so grateful.

I'm so glad I found this forum and would love to hear from anyone in similar situations.

Fiona x

[Jan63]

I feel exactly the same as you Fiona. I'm also convinced that cancer is hiding somewhere inside me and every little symptom I get I put down to cancer - it really is driving me nuts.:weep: I've got 3 children aged 17, 16 and 7 and the seven year old is very close to me and needs me and I'm terrified that I will get some sort of cancer and it will be too late to do anything - it's what I dread most.:weep: Everywhere you look there is something about cancer whether it's on the tv or in the newspaper or in magazines and in emails, you can't avoid it no wonder its in our heads all the time. You never used to hear about it much in years gone by.

I've been to the doctors tonight with a bowel problem but she says she won't do anything for 6 weeks because it might be the antibiotics I've been on - I just hope she's right cos I thought she would have a least have done a stool test or something.:huh:

[pooh]

Hi there and welcome along to NMP

Pooh x

[weeble40]

Hi and a big welcome to NMP its great to have you here, hope to see you in chat sometime,

Take care

Emma xxx

[Miss Alissa]

Hi Fiona

Have you talked to your doctor about your anxiety/health anxiety, or just about your symptoms?

I am also a fellow sufferer, like you, convinced that something MUST be wrong – I plucked up the courage to go to my GP a few months back and they have referred me for CBT, however there is a waiting list so I decided to try a book that somebody recommended on here – The Worry Cure by Robert Leahy – I’ve never really delved into the question of why I think the way I do, but I recognise myself in almost every example. It has made me laugh out loud and cry. There is a health anxiety section which I’ve already found really helpful. All I can say is don’t put your head in the sand, ‘try to stay positive’ or just try to get on with things because you feel ashamed or worried to talk to people – if you did have a disease you’d demand the treatment you needed, don’t let anybody make you think that treatment for this is any less vital.

Take care

Ali

[jackanakanory]

Hi Fiona..

That all sounds very familiar, my symptoms all started in 2003 after my daughter was born ( I was 36 yesterday) and suddenly my mortality was called into question as I was responsible for someone else and as a result.

My problem is opposite though, I am concerned for my daughters safety at every turn, stupid things like every time my wife calls me at work I think something has happened...

I think you have found a good place to talk here but I would recommend getting a new doctor to talk to, this is why I have been waiting over a month to see my specific doctor rather than be fobbed off, I know my doctor will listen. My Parents never ceases to amaze me with the stuff she can cope with, so I'd try talking to your parents to may be surprised.

All the best

Mike

[Baggie]

Hi Fiona

Welcome to NMP.

You are not alone with this type of worry. I think being a parent, with all of the responsibility that it brings can cause you to feel this way sometimes.

I'm being treated for panic attacks/ anxiety which started 2 months ago, but I also do worry about my health to a degree. I've had my fair share of health problems over the past few years, but like you, I've convinced myself on occasions that some thing much worse is going on. I also experienced Post natal depression after the birth of my eldest child, but was fine after my daughter was born a few years later. I got plenty of support during this very difficult period of PND from my wonderful Health Visitor.

My Mum, bless her, is a total worrier about her health and I've probably had a good teacher here! My gran became ill with cancer when my Mum was young, my grandpa had died when she was a baby and it was always difficult for her. My gran died not long after my parents got married and I think it affected her deeply.

I'm probably not the most positive thinker in the world (glass half empty rather than full!!) but I am working on it! Each day brings a different challenge - some are better than others. I'm on the waiting list for counselling as I have experienced pyschological bullying over the last few years from a group of women where I used to live. Thankfully I have moved away but the scars are there.

Anyway, sorry to have rambled on here, but just wanted to make you realise that you most definitely aren't on your own. It might be a good idea to see if you can see another GP at your practice, or even your Health Visitor for advice and support. Health Visitors do train in Women's Health and she may be able to help you.

Good luck & take care.

Baggie X :)

[baldy_dude]

Fiona - seems like you and me (just joined today) are in great company. Listen, I've been suffering from bouts of panic attacks for 7 years, and my first port of call in my parents. Thankfully both are still available and they are very sympathetic to my condition and immediately I felt better (after the brandys and port):blush:

So you aren't alone with all this. It seems that it is normal enough to worry about your health after having kids (I have 2 beautiful girls aged 2.5years and 1 year). You want to be around forever for them. Even if you don't have kids, people still worry about their health. However, what makes us slightly different than some others, is the fact that it overwhelms us, and snowballs into panic, fear and despair. Time to breakfree from it, if there are changes you need to make to your lifestyle, to remove anything that is weighing you down - go change it! Thats what I intend to do... I'm gonna get rid of the monkeys on my back, and I'm starting today!:yesyes: Wanna join me!

[sophie78]

Hello Fiona and Everyone,

I am just like you. Suffered with post partum then anxiety/panic since 2003 after the birth of my daughter. I always worry about every little body ache and at times it can really take a toll, like running to emerg or doctors trying to get a diagnosis. I am so tired of it and I jsut cant seem to let go of my fear of dying and leaving my daughters alone. My doctor diagnosed me with GAD but it seems like it is just now, that I am fully starting to understand what that means. I just always thought that the way I think was the way i think, I didn't know it was a disorder. My mom has it too...basically I guess until we learn to control our fears, the panic will never go away.

[milly jones]

a warm welcome to no more panic

milly xx