Passive death thoughts

[shortstuff]

I'm NOT feeling suicidal but find myself 'wishing' for death several times a day. I was diagnosed with panic disorder 6 months ago and have made variable progress since. On the whole I'm loads better than I was and the panic attacks are rare but the heightened anxiety remains pretty constant.

For a couple of months before the panic attacks started I'd been in a bad depression and was very much feeling suicidal - to the point I was at the planning stage! This is totally different. I suppose its frustration which leads to the thoughts - frustration that I find many everyday situations almost impossible to deal with, or feel that I am incapable of managing most aspects of my life.

The thoughts vary from a fleeting thought of "I'd be better off dead" to fantasies that I will be involved in a fatal accident. I even found myself envious when I heard that a relative has terminal cancer!

The strangest thing in all of this is that I actually feel quite rationale at the moment. I am generally calmer than I have been in recent months, so these thoughts just don't make sense.

Has anyone else experienced this? I'd feel a fool going to the GP for this as, on the whole, I feel better.

[Tom_M]

Hi

I think the thoughts that you are having are your brains way of dealing with the question of death. At the root of all panic and anxiety is the fear of injury, disease and death. If you have no fear of these things, then there's no reason to be anxious about them. It's basically a depressive way of dealing with unpleasant thoughts.

Tom

[freakedout]

Hi shortstuff,

Interesting post. Yeah, I have felt somewhat like yourself, with the thoughts of death. I am not particularly afraid of death, or anxious about it but I often think I would rather be dead and wish I could just curl up and die. My brother died as a result of cancer 15yrs ago, I feel guilty for being depressed and not living my life to the full and often think it should have been me that died and not him.

I could go on and on, but have just deleted a paragraph because it may offend, or be deleted for being a bit too depressing.

Toms perspective on these thoughts is, well thought provoking. I dont really know what I think about it though.

Take care, and as people have said to me before, they are only thoughts and thoughts come and then go.

Freaky

[shortstuff]

Hi

I think the thoughts that you are having are your brains way of dealing with the question of death. At the root of all panic and anxiety is the fear of injury, disease and death. If you have no fear of these things, then there's no reason to be anxious about them. It's basically a depressive way of dealing with unpleasant thoughts.

Tom

Interesting theory, but I can't think of any reason I'd be thinking of death TBH. The relative I mentioned has only just received diagnosis and these thoughts have been occurring for a couple of months.

Perhaps Feaky is right - they're just thoughts and should pass.