plz help me i cant take this no longer

[jox]

im 23 male i was diagnosed with perthes disiease when i was 8 which basicaly is a problem with my hip the ball wastes away i had 2 major ops and my hip regrewbut not normal so i now suffer with real bad arthritous, i was bulled at school for not been able to walk probply and it all starrted from there iv been depressed for aslong i can rember andfrom about the age 16 iv sufferd with anxsity i always felt like people where looking at me and thinking im weird and fiffrent the last few years its got evern worse i havent worked for 4 years and thats made my axsity and depression 10 times worse and my hip has also gotton worse to the point somedays im in so much pain i cant evern more for a hour untill i calms down i cant walk very far wwithout been in pain i think i loook weird and stand out like s sore thumb sometimes i get that anxcious i cant evern leave the house!!!!! the worst thing is none of my family have anyidea how depressed and ancsious i am :-( just over a yearago i had my 1st panic attack i suddly got the feeling like when someone jumps out on you in the dark and your stomach juss gose all funny but a few seconds later your relived because it was your friend just scaring you with my panicattack it was that feelin but more intence for over an hour i felt like i had been drugged or i had died and gone to hell nothing felt real iv had a about 6 in the last year and since the 1st one my view on the world has changed my way of thinking has changed i cant enjoy anything i hit rock bottom and i dont know what to do i have no job im supposed to me on jsa i sign on every 2 weeks and you wont belive how hard it is for me just to build te courage to go out to sign on!!! when i get home i think phew havent got to go out for 2 weeks now and i feel better! i dont know what to do plz help i dont show my emotions people think im perfectly fine im that shy i just laff at anything evern if im feeling so down i appear happy! im scared my doc wont belive me and think im just a young lad trying to scam some money i cant take this much longer

[marie1974]

hiya jox, :hugs: please dont worry, u r not alone in how u feel.

it would really help if you could tell someone how u feel, :hugs: if u cant do family then mayb samaritons or doctor etc.

they will believe you and u must try and b honest and say exactly how u feel.

keep posting on here and we will do our best to help advise u and support you, and you will make genuine friends here.

this site is great and helped lots of people to move forward in there life and gain confidence etc, so stay strong and never give up
hugs xxxxxxxxxxxx

[fairyloveheart]

Hi Jox

Sorry to hear about your pain and your troubles, as Donna said, you really need to try and talk to your GP or someone so you can get some proper help. I knwo it's easier said than done.

I hope you make some good friends on here, who can help you through the tough times.

FLH

[jox]

the only person iv felt i could talk to was my uncle who is the nicest guy you could meet but hes a christian and he just started banging on about god and how he will help me which freaked me out big time and made me everrn worse!! its too me another 6 months just to get over that its weird because some parts of the dat i feel happy but then ill suddly realise theres nothing to be happy about i try and keep busy that helps but its hard as i have mobility issues its nice to think im not the only person that feels like this ievern since my 1st panic attack iv been getting theese kind of rushes going threw my body all the time kind of like when a song send shivers down your spine only its not in a positive way what is that about?

[marie1974]

hiya hun, i think these feelings are because u are so anxious and scared mayb and also feeling very alone?

we all need someone to help us and make us feel like its gonna b ok kinda thing and if we dont have that we feel very scared and alone.

mayb sit down and think about the things u r good at, even at home u could do something, mayb work from home even.

i know quite afew people that sell things on ebay to make bits of money etc, i understand its hard with your hip though.

wot about a home study course, i study with bsy group doing nutrition, they do loads of different courses and u can do it all from home.

mayb look at there website bsy group, type it in google.

try samaritons, i have spoke with them before and they perhaps can give u other useful numbers.
hugs xx

[Veronica H]

Hi Jox:welcome: to NMP. Have you seen your GP lately about the pain. I would do so as it is hard to stay positive when you feel this way. You will get plenty of advice about anxiety/panic here as many of us have had the same symptoms you describe. I am sure there will be others posting with useful suggestions for you. Glad you have found us.:bighug1:

Veronica

[diane07]

Hi jox,

sometimes hun, when you tell someone what you are feeling it makes you feel so much better, my son who is 19 got depressed, he was in the army, his doc was so good and signed him off straight away. And like you he wasn't sure what the doctor would think of him, he thought that the doctor wouldn't believe him.

Doctors are here to help, try and pluck up the courage to talk to him/her.

You're only young and shouldnt have to go through this alone.

We're all here to help you in anyway we can
A huge welcome to nmp.

best wishes

di xx

[jox]

thanks for the replys guys

my biggest concern is my gp not beliving me and thinking i just want to sign off! i dont have an inoocent face i think i look dogey and because i will be thinking they dont belive me they will pic up on my nerves and which will make me look like im lying makes me frustrated and angry!

[marie1974]

hiya u r worrying to much wot people will think hun, your doc will believe you, just go and be honest and tell them wot u told us here, they have to help u.

please let us know how it goes, u will b ok xxx