Wierd Thoughts - Fear of going mad.

[Giraffe]

:weep: Hey Everyone,

I am having an awful day and could do with some kind words....:hugs:

However i am not sure where to start because I am scared you will all think I have gone mad...

Basically I have suffered with anxiety/OCD for sometime (I am 32 now & have probably suffered since my teens) but I have learnt a lot about it and generally have it under control... except for recently when it seems to be back and really have me in its grip!!

My main fears/bad thoughts stem around me being petrified of going mad/insane/schizophrenic and/or causing physical harm to people (those I love mainly)... as I mentioned I have suffered on and off with this for years so I seem to have most symptoms of anxiety and random thoughts in perspective.

However, at the moment it feels like my mind is trying to come up with new and scary ways of convincing me I am going mad. The worst one at the moment is that I keep convincing myself that I think there is someone behind me, sort of like someone is going to attack me but I know there isnt at all. Its more like there is a tension/feeling around my back (not pain) that I am super aware of and now my mind is tuning into it and creating lots of scenarios around it. Earlier I had a massive panic attack becauase I imagined thinking there was a person right behind me all the time and I freaked out - not least because describing what I mean is so hard and I dont want people to really think I have gone totally paranoid and/or crazy.

I hope someone can offer me some comfort...

Sorry to bang on and hope people are having better days.

With love

G
xx

[Southern_Belle]

Hi G,

First of all :bighug1: . Sorry you are having such a rough day. If I were you and you are at home I would go lay down on my back and then you would know that no-one is behind you. Anxiety can make us believe many things at times and you do believe them. Have you ever tried counseling? I found it very helpful and you might too. Hang in there and keep telling yourself that you will be okay and try and focus on the positives. If you need it call someone to be with you for awhile.

Take care,

Laura

[Giraffe]

Hi Laura,

Thanks for replying. I know what you mean about the lying down idea!

The wierd thing is I know for sure there is no one/nothing there and its just me focusing and obsessing about an area of my body and building myself up into a state about it... just wish I could convince myself about this!!!

Anxiety really sucks!

Thanks again for replying,

All good wishes,

G
xx

[Giraffe]

Hi again,

Has anyone else got any thoughts on this - I am now panicking that because I havent had many replies you all think I am mad... :weep:

xx

[Cherry Milkshake]

Hey hunni :)

Hope you're feeling slightly better since you posted this. I've only been having panic attacks for the last few weeks and I'm trying to get them under control with meds and self help which I'm finding scary and hard. The first thought I when I have an attack is 'Oh my God I'm going insane - I need to go to hospital and be sedated - I need to be sectioned' then I start trying to tell my self to calm down, I'm just panicking, then I wonder if the fact there seems to be two voices in my head means I'm going schizophrenic, what if I suddently turn into a murdering maniac. As I sit here and write this in a rational state of mind, it seems almost silly, but when it's happening it's just bloody awful. When I first started having the attacks I thought I was having heart attacks, then when I convinced myself it was panic that's when the whole 'I must be going mad then' thing set in. It sounds like you're focusing on these thoughts so much it's making it harder for you to control you're anxiety. Can you speak to your Doctor for reassurance? You're not going mad, if you were I doubt you'd be so worried about going mad. Well that's how I try to look at it anyway. I feel for you with this, I really do as I can relate to an extent. If you ever need a friend just mail me. Take care and take it easy.
Hannah x

PS - I had to smile at your final post, purely because that's exactly how I would feel too! You're not on your own x

[caggy08]

hey darls!!!

these thoughts are Harmless! they dont mean your Going mad, you are worrying About something Which will probley never Happen. if you were A maniac you wouldny give A dam about harming Another, if you were scitz you would be soo out of it you would not be aware of your actions, Aniexty is playing tricks with you,

i no from experience,One comment made me Believe i was fit for the straight Jacket. and it was the worst week of my lIFE, i Found myself Obessesing Over it, and what helped was me noticing that this voice was talking garbage, and i got hold of the voice and accepted what it told me, the sort of " Ok now piss Off, idont care" attitude,its Hard but over time its effective.

you May have A few bad days, i still get them, but i doubt you are turning into this Nutter your Mind is tryin to trick u into beleiving, you just need to look at it, like An enermy, its Harmless and it feels Horrible but you'll Beat it.

if you take Anti-depressents they tend to Heighten this symptoms, which means everything feels tens time worse for A couple of weeks, once your obession with something Mad subsides you find yourself finding somthing else to Obessess over, this is Natural to Aniexty it takes time

but stay Positive it will fade

xxx