Does anyone else feel like this---scared to make plans?

[jellybean43]

Hi
I have just been sat thinking today how long i have suffered from anxiety and i think it is most of my adult life!!!Scary!!!
Anyhow, I was wondering if anyone else can relate to this.I really have a "thing" about making plans. I really try my best to avoid anything that involves a committment!!How sad is that?
I always worry( and have done for years) that i may be ill on the day and have to let people down. I have suffered with migraines(amongst many other things LOL)for years. I am on tablets for them but it is Classic migraine i suffer---blurry vision etc.So, if i got one plans have to be cancelled. I now try and avoid anything that means making plans.
So, if i get invited to a Wedding/Christening/party---you know the usual stuff i tend to say that i will have to see what shift my OH is working and will let them know the week before.Then, if i decide to go i panic and wish that i wasnt going!!
If I go to concerts and shows(which i absolutely love) i will only go with OH or on the rare occassion get a ticket just for myself and get OH to take and pick me up so that i dont have to make an arrangement with anyone.
I mean is this crazy or does anyone else suffer from this???
I think most ppl know what i am like by now but hey it is a pain in the a***being like it!!!!!!!
xx

[chalky]

Hi Jellybean,

The only way to overcome this is to actively challenge it.Taking part in these occasions will show you :-
A. You are perfectly capable of adding to the lives of others.
B. You can learn to enjoy not endure them.
C. The panic will lessen as you gain experience and confidence.

Believe in yourself.
Best wishes,
Chalky

[jellybean43]

Thanks Chalky---great words of wisdom.
That is exactly how i feel---that i am enduring these occassions and not really enjoying them.
I will definately take on board your advice.x

[decca]

Hi jellybean,
Yes I'm the same as you, ever since I developed this anxiety thing I just don't like making commitments, even if it's things like baby sitting the grandchildren with my wife.Mostly because I'm afraid of letting people down or being ill in front of them.
It is getting better though, like Chalky says I've been challenging my fears and making myself join in and it does help, still not 100% comfortable with it yet but it's definatly better than it was.
Best wishes
Decca.

[Dying_Swan]

Hey Jelly :)

Yes I can relate to what you're saying. I used to find it much harder when my anxiety was worse. I wanted to do things and go places but didn't know if I would feel up to it on the day.

I have an obsession with oversleeping. A few years ago I overslept a couple of times and was late for work. People at work say 'are you working tomorrow?'- I don't like saying yes just in case I oversleep! Somehow I think if I don't tell them, they won't notice that I haven't turned up! In reality, they would be on the phone the minute my shift started asking where I was.

I also have a problem with thinking to the future. I am scared to make assumptions that I'll even still be alive. I'm 25 and so this is pretty irrational and morbid, but it's just the way I am.

I think you just have to continue to make the plans and see what happens. Plans aren't usually concrete and things can always change. As you do that the anxiety about it should start to ease

xxx :flowers:

[sheba2]

Oh yes. I hate letting people down but do so frequently. I really want to go to things but often chicken out on the day. Tomorrow I'm going to the mids. meet up and am freaking out but I am still determined. The only thing that will stop me is if my oldest daughter needs me as she has just come out of hospital and is very fragile at the moment.

Lately I have been going to most things even if I only stay a short time and the more I do the easier it gets.

[miss diagnosis]

oh yeah im exactly like that too.when i have a big occassion coming up i always panic that i'll be struck with something awful.sons communion is in two weeks and ive been panicked since i found out the date that im not going to be there. so dont worry your not alone on this.

[margaret911]

I find it so difficult to make plans, I just decide on the day what I am doing and then I don't feel like I am letting anyone down.
love Mags xx

[leanne1980]

hiya

im like this aswell, i had a baby 8 weeks ago and i was convinced i was gonna die and be buried in my wedding dress, im getting married this aug, but im writting out m y lists and i keep thinking shall i put my grandad etc he might die before that, then i worry about etc, normal people wouldnt even think of that until and if it happens.

leanne x

[Jabz]

ohhh boy. I have the same exact thing, I HATE MAKING PLANS. Mostly because people are not understanding, at least my friends are not. A lot of them think my anxiety is just easy to get rid off and have these weird advices like..oh whats the worse that can happen. I just want to smack them and tell them that if it was that easy I wouldve been fine by now.

So I never make plans and I feel more comfortable doing things alone, I think mostly because I dont have to depend on someone and nobody has to depend on me. This way I am not anxious to let anyone down and I am not relying on someone. Of course this drives my friends crazy because they cant make any plans with me, but I just wish people were more understand to my problems.

[Meewah]

I feel the same. I have started to feel anxious when making plans but as this is a fight against this illness I am prepared to fight it and carry on regardless. I feel I have too options, the first is to let this beat me and limit my life or the second which is to let it enhance my life by doing even more than before. The main thing is that before I would have to edure the stressful situations more. My doctor says I should avoid the stressfull situations and only do what I enjoyed before I had this illness. That means holidays, camping, going out with my family etc...Dont let this illness beat us we must carry on fighting it by challenging our thoughts. This time last year I was at the peak of my anxiety and managed to go abroad on holiday etc. I feel it was the anticipation that is worse. When you do the things you used to do you find it occupies your mind and so the anxiety eases.

My fear was that I might be terminally ill when I go do something I enjoy. If its only anxiety and not death then I am sure I can cope and live a full life. Just imagine if someone said you have 12 months to live, what would you do, just sit around taking it in for a bit then make the most of everything you could.

Upwards and onwards.

Mee

[slondon]

i am exactly the same. i cannot plan anything as i fear that i will be ill. i try to make myself not think about it but for example my cousin is getting married in august and it will be a huge wedding. i am already planning the journey and where the nearest hospital is in case i dont feel well.
not a good life like this. so upsetting and yet people just dont get it.
hope all works for you