Question for nurses

[Bill]

I think I can cope with most things including loss but I find it so hard to cope with others suffering when I feel powerless to prevent it.:weep:

How do you nurses cope with it?:shrug:

When I helped my mother to care for my father, it tore me apart to feel so helpless as he deteriorated.:weep:

Now with our dog, I'm feeling torn apart every time he struggles to do things.:weep:

I've always greatly admired nurses for the jobs they do because I know I couldn't because I'd come home feeling torn apart every day.

I know I'm too soft and that I'll never stop caring and wanting to help but I just wish I had the strength you nurses have to cope with others suffering.:hugs:

[lesleyB]

Hi Bill, I am not a nurse but I know how you feel. I don't think I could cope either also I would be scared of giving someone the wrong medicine . I have 2 dogs and would be devastated if anything happened to them. Your not too soft just a caring person.:hugs:
Lesleyb

[Lilith1980]

Hi Bill,

I know a couple of nurses and they have said that they just learn to densensitise themselves to it all.

I'm sure that to someone who wasnt a nurse, that would be a hard thing to so, but I guess, when you are a nurse and you see that sort of thing most days, you have to densensitise to it, otherwise it will stop you from doing your job effectively.

Jo xxxxx

[angiebaby]

I have nursed for 20 years now and for 16 of those years i was ok with dealing with most things. We all deal with things that do get to us, no matter how hard we try, they do still get to us. It can be a very sad job but also a very rewarding one. We have, what i call, a little switch in the brain which is set to the OFF position, this enables us to carry on and keep as desensitized as we can to carry out our roles to the best of our ability. However, when i became ill, four years this year, my switch was moved to the ON position and this is now my problem. Everything get's in now and interferes with my whole life. I just wish i knew how to turn the switch back off again and carry on as before. It is very difficult now for me to continue in my profession and am constantly looking for another job doing something that is not so emotionally demanding.xx

[Bill]

First of all, I just want to "thank you" Lesley for your lovely reply.:hugs:

Jo, I think it must be the same as with fears in general that we need to de-sensitise ourselves so that we are no longer affected by them just as I guess it is with emotional pain.:hugs:

Angie, there is No way in the world I could ever think of being a nurse. You have my total admiration for the job you've done for so long! I think you feel as you do simply because of the huge amount of empathy and compassion you feel for others. I know that if I were in hospital, I'd want to cared for by someone like You who cares so much rather than by someone just doing their job.:hugs:

I have met ex-nurses and care workers who found the pressures too much but they have still found other ways to care in the community. You have alot to offer Angie and I hope you stay in some type of caring profession that has less pressure because people need people like You.:hugs:

My wife has helpers who take her out and they're all very caring people. You're the type of person Angie who would be greatly appreciated by someone who needs help in the community because you have a huge amount of compassion to offer.:hugs:

[Lindalou64]

Hello Bill Im A Nurses Ade I Do Find It Very Rewarding But It Is A Challenge And Very Hard When I Lose Someone As I Did This Past Thursday Who I Got Too Attached With....but How Can You Not....we Are Just Giving Caring People....i Thot For A Day Or 2 Maybe I Cant Do This No More But I Decided This Is My Call.so I Shall Continue..........i Wish Ya All Well..........linda

[jill]

Hi Bill,

I too admire nurses soo much, wish I had the confidance to be one, mm, be carefull what you wish for LOL

I worked many moons ago with old people in a home, loved my job, cared for each and everyone as if they where my own mum and dad, treated them as I would like to be treated at there age. Of course the job came with sadness, the time I was there, many of them passed away. It broke my heart, but, I felt, I did all I could for them, gave them respect when needed, love when needed and many other things, I could not have done no more for them even if I tried.

Bill, not matter who we deal with human or animal, is to know and understand that we do all we can, Bill, you are a kind and caring person, there are some things in life that we just can't stop, we may feel powerless, BUT we are not, we help, we support, we give love, we do all we can. AND THIS IS POWER.

You are not soft at all, its not soft to be a kind and caring person and wanting to help, you help sooo much on here. You know as well as I do, that its not your kind and caring and wanting to help is the problem, is learning that you are there for people or animal, love them be there for them do all you can, do your best and your best is good enough. WE can only do are best Bill, and you do your best ALL THE TIME.

I am sorry to hear about your dog struggling, it must be soo hard for you, but hun, your there for him?her, your love, your kindness, your caring, THIS IS YOUR STRENGTH, this is your power, your doing all you can, you can do no more.


TAKE CARE

LOVE JILLXX

[bananarbabe]

I'm not a nurse but both of my parents are and as I get older I learn to admire the fact that they are able to leave work at home. I think part of it is their ability to desentize themselves and act as a neutral party in order to provide the best care and assist other medical staff in making decisions for what is best for the patient. And that is where I think their value comes from.

[angiebaby]

I would like to say a big thank you for your kind and caring words Bill. I am very sad that i have been considering leaving the profession as i feel i am not strong enough anymore, but am trying to continue my career in a caring field of another kind maybe. I would like to think that i have helped people in my 20 years and if i think about it i do get sad that i feel i have to leave the profession that i dedicated my life to all those years ago. You have a wonderful way of phrasing things and of replying to people, this is a gift, thankyou very much!!!

This is a lovely thread and shows the forum what lovely, kind and considerate people we are lucky enough to have on here!!!xxx

[Coni]

Hi Bill, Im a nurse in community and I find it very difficult to turn off my feelings....I often 'take' my work home (in an emotional sense) and have had many sleepless anxious nights worrying about patients....I think you learn to do the job despite your emotions, but there are times, probably depending on what else is going on in your life, when this can be more difficult than others. And I think some are much better at achieving balance than others (I unfortunately am one of the not so good ones).

I have to say Bill it is lovely to be appreciated...and its people like you who make the job so worthwhile.

I often say i wish I could do something else as I do feel overwhelmed a lot of the time....but at the same time I dont know how to be anything else other than a nurse.

I completely understand how difficult angie must be finding things....best of luck angie in your quest for a change of career.

luv Coni XX

[Bill]

Anxiety sufferers are always beating themselves up for what they consider are their failings and they never seem to recognise the admirable qualities they possess.

You only have to look at how many people on here such as yourselves work in the caring professions to see why so many people with anxiety work in "caring" professions because no other type of person could care more! Isn't that something to be proud of?

Anxiety doesn't only mean you care, it also means you worry about doing a "good" job which means you're also very conscientious. Patients therefore couldn't be in safer hands!

I know we can only do our best and accept life for what it is but I also know that if everyone in this world were the same as yourselves, this world would be a much better place to live.

When my father was ill in the hospice, I was talking to a nurse and I told her I just didn't know how she coped with her job. She replied by saying she was lucky because she could go home at the end of her shift. I still admired her and her colleagues though because they still needed to switch their minds off which I would find impossible to do.

As Angie says, it is tremendously emotionally demanding to be a nurse so I will always regard them with total admiration. It's no wonder that after 20 years in the job the pressures take their toll.

No nurse or anxiety sufferer should ever beat themselves up for being what makes them who they are.:hugs:

[angiebaby]

Thankyou so much Bill.xx