How do i accept

[Brunamateus]

Hey guys, looking for some helpful words, ive been dealing lately with some pretty intense panic attacks due to some symptoms ive been having, some anal discomfort, mucus and itching, sometimes i would go number two and have some bright red dots on toilet paper, but only a few times, went to the doctor Who told me i had pretty big internal hemorrhoids, but still i cant stop thinking Its some horrible disease, the c word, i keep hyperfixating on every little feeling then end up throwing myself into a panic attack and anxious state, i start “imagining” pains and then i get so worked up that my bowels suffer from it and i end up thinking Its one more symptom. How do i accept this is hemorrhoids and nothing sinister? Has someone gone through this before? Im 27 yo female for reference

[Button1]

Well you know I have and as I’ve said in your previous threads, you can see others on here have too. I really do sympathise but you’re experiencing a not very pleasant digestive issue but it’s seriously not what you fear. You need serious help for your anxiety- what treatment have you sought for that? No one is saying it’s easy but you really have to take some responsibility for getting help for your mind now, there’s only so much we can tell you here x

[Brunamateus]

Hey there, i seriously am so thankful for all the support you have been giving me, i’ve been looking for a therapist but here in Portugal Its not Very easy to find good ones, ive got a referal for a Nice one and hoping i can make an appointment soon, i have also been doing acupuncture for my panic attacks which have been somewhat helpful, tomorrow im going to try to get the doctor to give me a referal for a colonoscopy, i feel like i really need to do this to put it behind my Back and focus on my mental health, i feel like i wont be able to if im not 100% sure im fine… though im so terrified of the results 😔

[Button1]

Oh I know you’re not ungrateful honestly, it’s just our reassurance is clearly not enough so you’ve got to put all your energy into getting yourself into a better headspace. Which it sounds like you’re doing. Have you tried any anxiety meds? It feels like a massive step but they definitely helped me and I didn’t need to be on them for very long before I started feeling better. It might help you whilst you search for a therapist. Be aware that a doctor might not sign off on a colonoscopy for you if they don’t see a genuine clinical need (mine didn’t) so you do have to think about what you might do if you can’t use tests for reassurance. You also have to be pretty sure you’ll be reassured/ believe the results if you do put yourself through this x

[Brunamateus]

I know they might not sign me off for one, and to be honest, i dont know what Will happen if i cant get a referral for one as im 100% counting on it for being able to move on with my life. I’ve always dealt with bouts of health anxiety but this one, has been the worst so far, ive never convinced myself more that i have something like right now. And it comes in waves, sometimes im able to reason it for a bit and then all of a sudden it hits me hard again, that gloomy feeling that something its seriously wrong with me. I think about it 24/7 and Its been so hard