Munki
19-08-24, 16:31
Hey all,
Has anyone done any healing work to discover WHY they have a health anxiety?
I only tend to get mine when I'm away from home, so when a trip is coming up, I start to feel the build. This week is a good example.
I've been on a spiritual journey over the last year and it's been an eye-opener. I'd tried therapy just before that but it became problematic for me. I know why I have a health anxiety. My Mom had personal health panics when I was very young and I remember her calling the GP at all hours. It never impacted on me, but she clearly never felt safe in her own skin.
When she lost her Dad, my darling Grandad, I was 30. At that point, she sort of dug her nails in with me, obviously panicked that I was all she had as her only child. She'd worry about me incessantly, especially when I went away, and soon, I started to pick up on this. If she was worried, she clearly had good reason to. I was in danger.
Right there is the cycle of trauma. I no longer felt safe. We all need to feel safe above all else in life.
18 months ago, I resented her and felt she'd ruined my trips away. I was angry and bitter. Therapy helped me understand the reasoning, but it was leading me to demonise her and I didn't like it. It made me the victim and I didn't want to be. It made her the ogre. I didn't want that either.
I decided to start meditating, trance-journeying and trying reiki/angel healing/shamanic therapies. EVERYTHING! Over time, this has made me empathise with her, and understand that her own broken relationship with her Mom prevented her from feeling safe. How could she make me feel safe when she didn't feel safe herself? Equally, my Nan will have valid reasons for being tougher, and not offering the emotional support she needed.
I now deeply empathise with her and no longer feel angry. I still have healing to do, as my worries come from letting her down. I'm more concerned about my health for HER than myself. The fear of breaking her heart.
That isn't healthy.
So as I prepare to go to a spirutual festival on Friday, I'm trying really hard not to let that mean intruder take the driving seat. It can come along for the ride to help protect me, but I'm working on not letting it be the driver.
This journey has really helped me find some peace, and I recommend you do the same. While it is about finding strategies to lessen the panic, it's more important to find the source and recognise the unhelpful thought patterns that have become your norm.
I hope this helps someone <3
Has anyone done any healing work to discover WHY they have a health anxiety?
I only tend to get mine when I'm away from home, so when a trip is coming up, I start to feel the build. This week is a good example.
I've been on a spiritual journey over the last year and it's been an eye-opener. I'd tried therapy just before that but it became problematic for me. I know why I have a health anxiety. My Mom had personal health panics when I was very young and I remember her calling the GP at all hours. It never impacted on me, but she clearly never felt safe in her own skin.
When she lost her Dad, my darling Grandad, I was 30. At that point, she sort of dug her nails in with me, obviously panicked that I was all she had as her only child. She'd worry about me incessantly, especially when I went away, and soon, I started to pick up on this. If she was worried, she clearly had good reason to. I was in danger.
Right there is the cycle of trauma. I no longer felt safe. We all need to feel safe above all else in life.
18 months ago, I resented her and felt she'd ruined my trips away. I was angry and bitter. Therapy helped me understand the reasoning, but it was leading me to demonise her and I didn't like it. It made me the victim and I didn't want to be. It made her the ogre. I didn't want that either.
I decided to start meditating, trance-journeying and trying reiki/angel healing/shamanic therapies. EVERYTHING! Over time, this has made me empathise with her, and understand that her own broken relationship with her Mom prevented her from feeling safe. How could she make me feel safe when she didn't feel safe herself? Equally, my Nan will have valid reasons for being tougher, and not offering the emotional support she needed.
I now deeply empathise with her and no longer feel angry. I still have healing to do, as my worries come from letting her down. I'm more concerned about my health for HER than myself. The fear of breaking her heart.
That isn't healthy.
So as I prepare to go to a spirutual festival on Friday, I'm trying really hard not to let that mean intruder take the driving seat. It can come along for the ride to help protect me, but I'm working on not letting it be the driver.
This journey has really helped me find some peace, and I recommend you do the same. While it is about finding strategies to lessen the panic, it's more important to find the source and recognise the unhelpful thought patterns that have become your norm.
I hope this helps someone <3