spock1
08-11-07, 15:24
I feel this is the only site I can ask for help without being condemmned or made fun of so I hope someone can help.
I had been doing quite well until about a year ago when everything in my world began going wrong and falling apart bit by bit, I hardly know where to start really and I apologise now as I know this is going to be a long post.
Just over a year ago my daughter of then almost 17 was in the late stages of pregnancy, I had been having problems with her throughout the pregnancy with her intermittant binge drinking and smoking joints, (possibly taking other drugs) among other things like her almost total lack of hygiene and her speaking to me like dirt.
Oct last year she went into labour and was admitted to a ward to wait for her to dilate more, I stayed the whole time and supported her as much as possible,she was eventually taken to the labour room where she became very abusive and nasty to everyone, swearing and threatening staff and myself when she was asked to stop using the gas and air so much in between the contractions, after only barely an hour of labour and being told she couldnt just have a c. section she wrapped her legs around themselves and refused to push swearing and hitting out at anyone who tried to touch her, in the end because of the danger to her child she was taken to theatre knocked out and my grandson was delivered by forceps, she seemed great with him at first, but within 2 days the staff were relaying worries to social services, I tried to tell her she would be watched by the staff and to pull her socks up, but she ignored me and 4 days later I got a call from her in hysterics as the social workers and police were removing him from the hospital, it turned out she had been shouting at him and had been leaving dirty clothes and nappies around, she also hadnt bathed or washed since being in hospital and there were complaints about the smell coming from her bed.
She came to stay with me for a couple of weeks but became so abusive at my attempts to get her to sort herself out that she moved back to the flat that the s.s. had got her when pregnant, then because I wouldnt give her money on two occassions she contacted the s.s. and told them to stop making arrangements for me to see my grandson.
Despite all this I still let her come and stay with me during mothers day week as she was feeling very weepy and to thank me for doing this she stole £50 from me before walking out.
During this time a male friend who had allowed me to put my old classic car in his garage decided to stop all forms of communication with me, I tried contacting him by phone and text but nothing, he isnt even staying at his flat that often so I now have no way to get my car back.
This was all sending my anxiety through the roof, especially as she had also stirred trouble with some of the neighbours telling them a whole load of lies and turning them against me, I had already had problems with them in the past because of her lies and mouthy talk to them but it had died down quite a bit, and now its worse than ever.
I was asked by my solicitor if I was going to put myself forward for carer of my grandson and at first I went ahead with starting the procedure, but then after seeing how vicious and nasily determined my daughter could be towards me, I realised if I were to go ahead and be successful that I would never be able to have any real contact with my daughter again for fear of putting my grandson in the middle of it all, plus I would have to move almost immediately so she couldnt come around and cause more trouble, so I had to do the hardest thing Ive done in a long time and give up my chance of custody , so I didnt get to see him from the age of 6 days old onwards.
I also had stress and problems with results from the breast cancer appointment, and with and elderly relative in london who is showing signs of dementia and I dont know who to turn to as he is the only person in my family I see, my mother refuses to have anything to do with me and moved to cornwall somewhere, she wont even let my half brother have any contact with me and has told him if he has any contact with me she will stop talking to him.
Then in August this year I finally thought something in my life was going right when I started dating a friend I had known for about 2 years, things were going great and it made things feel easier,I'll call him "C" he told me he loved me and wanted to stay together, then I discovered that his sister who I had thought was a friend for the past two years actually doesn't like me?, he has 2 grown up daughters who each have a boy and at first everything was great with them as they said it was the first time they had seen thier dad so happy and "loved up" as they called it, but then when C started spending more and more time at my house and they missed out on the resident babysitter etc one of them got quite nasty, this didnt seem to deter him as he said that they would have to accept that he was entitled to a life too, then he lost his job and his bike broke down which made him quite depressed as he hates being out of work and without transport, I tried to help support him as best I could, we had a few minor probs as I discovered that due to him having a violent marriage from his ex. that he had no intention of marrying again ever, nor living with anyone or having any further children, I tried asking if this might change in the future and he said absolutely never.
Then on friday last week after barely seeing C all week due to him being at his babysitting and sorting out housing ben. forms etc, we were due to go out but when his friend turned up to collect and announced over the phone that he didnt have room for me to come, I admit that I did shout and say about being left behind when C said he was still going with him, I then sent a text saying it was because I felt left out and stranded as my foot is in plaster and I cant get about much on my own, he didnt reply, nor to the 2 sent after that, C didnt come back here after the night out nor did he call or text the next day.
I thought something might be wrong so I tried to call but his mobile was turned off, I text C's friend to ask if he could let me know if C was ok and I got a text back saying no,he couldnt tell me and that he didnt want to be involved??!!. I have tried a couple of times since to call C's phone but its always turned off, other than one time when I sent a text asking if he was ok and got the delivery reprt that it was delivered so I waited to see if he replied but he didnt so after waiting about an hour I tried calling and it was turned off again?, he has left quite a bit of his stuff here including some new clothes bought by his daughters for his birthday??
My stress and anxiety levels are rocketing I have migraine type headaches virtually constant, as well as panic feelings, fluttery heartbeats, feeling sick wanting and doing self harm, feeling sick and wanting to give up on everything. please can anyone here help me?? again Im sorry for such a long post but I needed to show whats caused all this.
I had been doing quite well until about a year ago when everything in my world began going wrong and falling apart bit by bit, I hardly know where to start really and I apologise now as I know this is going to be a long post.
Just over a year ago my daughter of then almost 17 was in the late stages of pregnancy, I had been having problems with her throughout the pregnancy with her intermittant binge drinking and smoking joints, (possibly taking other drugs) among other things like her almost total lack of hygiene and her speaking to me like dirt.
Oct last year she went into labour and was admitted to a ward to wait for her to dilate more, I stayed the whole time and supported her as much as possible,she was eventually taken to the labour room where she became very abusive and nasty to everyone, swearing and threatening staff and myself when she was asked to stop using the gas and air so much in between the contractions, after only barely an hour of labour and being told she couldnt just have a c. section she wrapped her legs around themselves and refused to push swearing and hitting out at anyone who tried to touch her, in the end because of the danger to her child she was taken to theatre knocked out and my grandson was delivered by forceps, she seemed great with him at first, but within 2 days the staff were relaying worries to social services, I tried to tell her she would be watched by the staff and to pull her socks up, but she ignored me and 4 days later I got a call from her in hysterics as the social workers and police were removing him from the hospital, it turned out she had been shouting at him and had been leaving dirty clothes and nappies around, she also hadnt bathed or washed since being in hospital and there were complaints about the smell coming from her bed.
She came to stay with me for a couple of weeks but became so abusive at my attempts to get her to sort herself out that she moved back to the flat that the s.s. had got her when pregnant, then because I wouldnt give her money on two occassions she contacted the s.s. and told them to stop making arrangements for me to see my grandson.
Despite all this I still let her come and stay with me during mothers day week as she was feeling very weepy and to thank me for doing this she stole £50 from me before walking out.
During this time a male friend who had allowed me to put my old classic car in his garage decided to stop all forms of communication with me, I tried contacting him by phone and text but nothing, he isnt even staying at his flat that often so I now have no way to get my car back.
This was all sending my anxiety through the roof, especially as she had also stirred trouble with some of the neighbours telling them a whole load of lies and turning them against me, I had already had problems with them in the past because of her lies and mouthy talk to them but it had died down quite a bit, and now its worse than ever.
I was asked by my solicitor if I was going to put myself forward for carer of my grandson and at first I went ahead with starting the procedure, but then after seeing how vicious and nasily determined my daughter could be towards me, I realised if I were to go ahead and be successful that I would never be able to have any real contact with my daughter again for fear of putting my grandson in the middle of it all, plus I would have to move almost immediately so she couldnt come around and cause more trouble, so I had to do the hardest thing Ive done in a long time and give up my chance of custody , so I didnt get to see him from the age of 6 days old onwards.
I also had stress and problems with results from the breast cancer appointment, and with and elderly relative in london who is showing signs of dementia and I dont know who to turn to as he is the only person in my family I see, my mother refuses to have anything to do with me and moved to cornwall somewhere, she wont even let my half brother have any contact with me and has told him if he has any contact with me she will stop talking to him.
Then in August this year I finally thought something in my life was going right when I started dating a friend I had known for about 2 years, things were going great and it made things feel easier,I'll call him "C" he told me he loved me and wanted to stay together, then I discovered that his sister who I had thought was a friend for the past two years actually doesn't like me?, he has 2 grown up daughters who each have a boy and at first everything was great with them as they said it was the first time they had seen thier dad so happy and "loved up" as they called it, but then when C started spending more and more time at my house and they missed out on the resident babysitter etc one of them got quite nasty, this didnt seem to deter him as he said that they would have to accept that he was entitled to a life too, then he lost his job and his bike broke down which made him quite depressed as he hates being out of work and without transport, I tried to help support him as best I could, we had a few minor probs as I discovered that due to him having a violent marriage from his ex. that he had no intention of marrying again ever, nor living with anyone or having any further children, I tried asking if this might change in the future and he said absolutely never.
Then on friday last week after barely seeing C all week due to him being at his babysitting and sorting out housing ben. forms etc, we were due to go out but when his friend turned up to collect and announced over the phone that he didnt have room for me to come, I admit that I did shout and say about being left behind when C said he was still going with him, I then sent a text saying it was because I felt left out and stranded as my foot is in plaster and I cant get about much on my own, he didnt reply, nor to the 2 sent after that, C didnt come back here after the night out nor did he call or text the next day.
I thought something might be wrong so I tried to call but his mobile was turned off, I text C's friend to ask if he could let me know if C was ok and I got a text back saying no,he couldnt tell me and that he didnt want to be involved??!!. I have tried a couple of times since to call C's phone but its always turned off, other than one time when I sent a text asking if he was ok and got the delivery reprt that it was delivered so I waited to see if he replied but he didnt so after waiting about an hour I tried calling and it was turned off again?, he has left quite a bit of his stuff here including some new clothes bought by his daughters for his birthday??
My stress and anxiety levels are rocketing I have migraine type headaches virtually constant, as well as panic feelings, fluttery heartbeats, feeling sick wanting and doing self harm, feeling sick and wanting to give up on everything. please can anyone here help me?? again Im sorry for such a long post but I needed to show whats caused all this.