elysemarie123
21-04-20, 14:52
I'm having a rough day with my anxiety and I just need to get it all out somewhere. I'm not really looking for reassurance but I just need to type everything out.
- this covid has really put a wrench in my anxiety. I was doing so good with my health anxiety and then all of this happened and I spiraled. You've probably seen that I posted on here (or maybe not because I don't do it often) and was quite positive usually. That was a facade -- i really was struggling in the beginning of this. I wasn't able to sleep well, wasn't able to eat much - lost 10 lbs in 2 weeks. Then, it's like my mind got bored of it. I wasn't as anxious, I didn't check the news, I just felt normal--which I was so appreciative of. The sense of normalcy lasted until Friday. I am working from home and my fiance was playing a video game and got motion sickness and threw up. We have been self isolating for a month now so there really isn't anywhere he could have picked up a virus (and at the time we had no idea what it was -- have since realized it was motion sickness) but I FREAKED out. My safe space was not safe anymore. He was fine in a matter of hours and even ate a huge lunch after the fact, but I couldn't get it out of my mind. It's like I was brought back to step 1 with my anxiety.
The mornings are the worst. I wake up at the crack of dawn and just toss and turn until it's time to get up. I should also mention that I just got my period today which make my anxiety SO MUCH WORSE.
All of this just feels so overwhelming today and I just want to bury my head and wake up tomorrow and try again. The thing is though, I KNOW it is anxiety, I KNOW that there is nothing I can do to prevent getting sick (besides self isolating and washing my hands--which I am doing) but I still spiraled. I also have been working with a therapist who has gotten me to "shoot for neutral" -- if I wake up and have a no news day, that's what I am aiming for.
This is definitely just rambling and I feel better after getting some of this out but I just needed to put it somewhere. Thank you for reading and I hope your day is a no news day <3
- this covid has really put a wrench in my anxiety. I was doing so good with my health anxiety and then all of this happened and I spiraled. You've probably seen that I posted on here (or maybe not because I don't do it often) and was quite positive usually. That was a facade -- i really was struggling in the beginning of this. I wasn't able to sleep well, wasn't able to eat much - lost 10 lbs in 2 weeks. Then, it's like my mind got bored of it. I wasn't as anxious, I didn't check the news, I just felt normal--which I was so appreciative of. The sense of normalcy lasted until Friday. I am working from home and my fiance was playing a video game and got motion sickness and threw up. We have been self isolating for a month now so there really isn't anywhere he could have picked up a virus (and at the time we had no idea what it was -- have since realized it was motion sickness) but I FREAKED out. My safe space was not safe anymore. He was fine in a matter of hours and even ate a huge lunch after the fact, but I couldn't get it out of my mind. It's like I was brought back to step 1 with my anxiety.
The mornings are the worst. I wake up at the crack of dawn and just toss and turn until it's time to get up. I should also mention that I just got my period today which make my anxiety SO MUCH WORSE.
All of this just feels so overwhelming today and I just want to bury my head and wake up tomorrow and try again. The thing is though, I KNOW it is anxiety, I KNOW that there is nothing I can do to prevent getting sick (besides self isolating and washing my hands--which I am doing) but I still spiraled. I also have been working with a therapist who has gotten me to "shoot for neutral" -- if I wake up and have a no news day, that's what I am aiming for.
This is definitely just rambling and I feel better after getting some of this out but I just needed to put it somewhere. Thank you for reading and I hope your day is a no news day <3