Turning point, need some help

[russ]

Basically my story is far too complicated to explain in detail. Essentially I have suffered from anxiety most of my adult life, in the last 12 months health anxiety and I'm sure depression.

Due to a range of factors at 28 I've only ever had one job, I haven't worked for around 5 years now. For some of this I was helping to look after my terminally ill dad and nan, then I was suffering from grief (still am) then I also had a cancer scare myself and then a dibilatating muscle pull which was really bad for 6 months and led to panic attacks, this is what I was told at A&E, but I've never been treated for it.

I didn't care about anything, because I thought I was on the brink of dying.

I've never signed-on because of the hassle I would get and so I just live at home, use the internet and do the household jobs, gardens, decorating, etc. I've also setup a website and work on that.

However, I'm at the point where i feel a simple job (like a Christmas job) may do me good. It may fill my time and help me make some form of recovery, give my life some structure and focus. I'd just like to do something simple that doesn't involve meeting too many people.

However, I'm totally unsure what I'd like to do. I also feel after being without a job for 5 years people won't want to employ me. I also don't want to explain my past to them because it is so private and upsetting. I'm also not sure I can attend an interview etc.

I'm just looking for some advice and guidance really. Has anyone been in this position? Has anyone any advice or suggestions for a possible job? I don't know what to do! :shrug:

All I know is I'm heading nowhere fast these days. Basically I feel it is too late for me. :(

[PUGLETMUM]

:yesyes: hi russ, well done for getting this far feeling like you have, you deserve to be proud of yourself and to turn that strength to now enjoy your life and get the things you want. but it isnt easy, ask yourself this though is living how you are easier and i bet youll agree that it is hard to feel how you do.
could you get some therapy first so you have support? failing that for whatever reasons could you get some self help books i would recommend 'feel the fear and do it anyway' by susan jeffers and another one that is more philosophical is 'the road less travelled' by m. scott peck. just an idea and im sure youll get others from other members. recovery is an on-going process so if you keep coming here while you need it youll always find someone willing to try and offer you their advice and encouragement. best wishes:) emma

[Caribou]

Hi Russ

I can totally understand your experience as I've suffered anxiety too throughout my adult life and it has been a struggle. I had crappy jobs in the past and would get very down about them, failed to turn up for work etc and left jobs. One of the things that keeps me going and looking to the future is that I now have a job that I really love.

I work in mental health now and I would say that any job where you are helping others, is rewarding, fulfilling and worthwhile. Plus you are able to feel empathy towards the people you are helping as you've been in a vulnerable place yourself.

I think it's really positive that you're thinking of returning to work. One thing I would suggest is doing some voluntary work, its great experience to put on your CV, you can do the things you like or have an interest in, develop your skills and theres no committment so you can walk away if you don't like it and try something else instead. You can do as little or as much work as you like. Why not visit your local Volunteer Bureau and have a chat with them? See what they suggest?

Good luck :)

Caribou

[dave01]

Russ, as someone else suggested have you thought about a job in care, i do this now. not the greatest paid profession i would admit but generally you find people in our position tend to have a natural empathy and understanding, i work with children with learning disability and it's very rewarding. good luck.

[Lindalou64]

i also work for the elderly or disabled and other odd jobs ....i also took care of my mother till she passed at a very young age tho.i guess thats why i have so much empathy with what i do and for people,start out small like the others say volunteer maybe just to get that feeling of working again..i wish ya the best...........Linda xx