View Full Version : Pancreatic cancer
Hello new to forum
Ling story started Jan last year with nausea and sickness in morning on sitting up in bed. Ultrasound Feb 17 clear. Over m8nths had endoscopy and colonoscopy all clear. Ct head scan clear. March 18 pain in left flank for 4 days over two weeks then pains in rib cages. Ct scan with contrast March clear. Since then malabsorption of fat. Saw private gastroenterologist may who said Definitely not pancreatic cancer referred for faecal elastase test. Very very scared. Mother died Feb and she was my go to person. Have seen a psychiatrist this week and being prescribed a drug and psychotherapy. I know these symptoms are not 8n my head and I know the results show nothing but things are getting worse.having v dark thoughts.
paranoid-viking
25-05-18, 20:34
Well, you had scans and tests and all of them says you dont have pancreatic cancer so its not that. I am not saying it is nothing, but it is not pancreatic cancer; then all these tests you had would show it.
Sad to hear about your mother. Not to be personal, but did she have that cancer you fear?
Hi. No mum didn't have any cancer she died from cops and was 79. I am frantic cos of the lack of absorption of fat and most recently peeing a lot which can be start of diabetes which can be linked to pancreatic cancer. Ct was 3 m9nths ago but ct scan cannot see below 1cm.
nomorepanic
25-05-18, 20:42
You are going to have to trust the professionals on this one as they said definitely not cancer.
The thing is, someone with anxiety (primarily), that gets stomach/side/back pain, in all it's various forms, is not surprising in the least. Digestive issues are by far, the most common side effect of anxiety. It's real too!
I don't doubt you for a minute you're not feeling well, but being that you have medical science backing it up... There's nothing physically serious going on here. Psychologically, it's a different story. Speak to your GP about the physical symptoms and see if there's something you can take to help and look into real life professional help for your anxiety. Life's too short to live like you're dying.
Positive thoughts
Anxiousamyj
26-05-18, 03:00
Try some digestive enzymes. They help me through my anxiety induced GI issues.
I am waiting for a test to see f i need pancreatic enzymes but it will b months till test. This morning more pains in left flank and was sick at lunchtime. no appetite. not been a good day as still get overwhelmed by grief over mum dying in february. honestly feel so low today that i am worried.
Hello! I think we met on another forum? Hi! And welcome to this one!
So you clearly do have real symptoms, but you know you also suffer from anxiety. Given what you have been through I think it’s totally natural that you are suffering from anxiety- and perhaps depression too? You’ve lost your mum; your go-to person. That is HUGE. Is it any wonder you struggling? Do you have anyone else close to you who is supporting you?
You don’t have pancreatic cancer (like your consultant told you; a tumour too small to be seen on the scan would be too small to cause the symptoms you have been suffering from). But you ARE suffering. You ARE going through an incredibly hard time. Of course you don’t feel well - be kind to yourself, and I do hope you have others around you being kind to you too. You deserve it
HI Jojo
I dont really have someone else to go to as my immediate family are weary of my health anxiety which has been around for a long time. I am hoping that the new medication which the psych has prescribed will help but i fear that the psychotherapy will take some time to materialise.
In the meantime i am going to phone my gp who is on duty tomorrow and see what she says. I am so so tired of the worry because for me this is no longer do i have pancreatic cancer it is just a matter of time as to when they find it. I am plagued by memories of work colleague whose partner suffered from what he thoght was flu like symptoms for months only to be diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and he only survived 8 weeks from diagnosis. This is why the sweating freaks me out. The doc tries to tell me its sweating from menopause but what if its not.
So why are you so sure you have pancreatic cancer? Ask yourself this: do you hold the belief you have pancreatic cancer for rational reasons? Is there objective evidence to support your belief?
Look at it this way: Imagine someone you know without health anxiety. Put yourself in their head. If they suffered your symptoms, and had the tests you’ve had, and had the doctors tell them they categorically DO NOT have pancreatic cancer - would they still think they had it? Almost certainly NOT. Probably they would not have attributed their symptoms to pancreatic cancer in the first place, especially if their GP wasn’t worried (as I think yours was not??).
So. Therefore I think this PROVES your firm belief you have pancreatic cancer is NOT RATIONAL. This is useful information because it indicates your belief is caused by your brain playing tricks on you. If you accept your brain is playing tricks on you, I think you can make a little progress towards digging out of this hole.
“I believe I have pancreatic cancer because my mind is playing tricks on me”
NOT “I believe I have pancreatic cancer because there is evidence to suggest I do”.
And yet you are having a genuinely REALLY HARD TIME.
You are terrified, you’ve lost your mum, you feel alone because no one believes you.
Those things are your problem NOT pancreatic cancer.
It is possible to KNOW that is true without FEELING it. And that would be a start!
Good luck!
Hi Jojo
The trouble is that I don't know what constitutes evidence. The gp tests have been ok but the recent home blood glucose tests show high levels. Am worried that pancreatic cancer is damaging ability to control sugar.
Had you eaten before your blood glucose? I suspect you should avoid home tests - I’ve fallen into that trap before..... and I always end up scaring myself! If you do a test enough times, under improper conditions, you always end up with a positive result.
But anyway, diabetes, should you have it, does not suggest pancreatic cancer. Only a tiny fraction of new diabetic patients have pancreatic cancer. And so back to what constitutes objective evidence: do you think a non health anxiety person would be testing their own blood sugar?
And if they did have high blood sugar would they attribute it to pancreatic cancer?
I suspect NO!!
HI
i tested it before and 2 hours after eating. Even 2 hours after it was 10.7. I realise that testing it myself is probably not a good idea but am really struggling with what is physically happening to me; v sharp upper abdo pains, non absorption of fat, sweating, left flank pains etc. Now the blood sugar thing. I worry because its 3 months since the ct scan and if it was small enough not be seen then it could well have grown in the 3 months.
i really appreciate your posts in trying to help me. I have a telephone appointment with my doc on Friday before she goes on holiday for 2 weeks but i doubt she is going to agree to doing more investigations. I feel i am stuck with dealing with something i know is serious but without the ability to get the gp engaged.
i can see from the posts here that you have posted here before with the same fear and that we came across each other on another site. I hope you are well and have overcome the fear.
At least you're doing the right thing by seeking real life help. Yes, it will take time and effort, but real life help is the way to go.
Think of it like dieting. You don't gain 50 pounds overnight and it takes a while to take that weight off. One day at a time. Also, make sure to discuss your reassurance seeking here as well as the self testing. Those behaviors will hinder your recovery.
Positive thoughts
Ha! No I have not overcome my fear!! But I am in therapy and do recognise my problem so hopefully that is a bit of the battle won!
I also have sharp upper abdominal pains and sometimes I worry I am going yellow and that my stools are pale. I’ve paid for an ultrasound privately which showed nothing as well has colonoscopy/Gastroscopy (which showed gastritis). But my fear is not confined to pancreatic cancer- I’ve “had” them all!! I’m not sure if that makes my brand of HA better or worse!
Hi Snooper1
I can identify with everything you have posted, I feel exactly the same myself, except I am convinced it is stomach cancer. So far I have only had a load of blood tests, but I should be getting an appointment for an endoscopy soon. GP diagnosed gastritis, but this has been going on for 2 months now :-(
Really sorry to hear about your Mum, that must be awful for you. My Dad died last year, and things are still difficult, and your grief will be so, so raw..
I get some of the symptoms you describe. The flank pain, pain under ribs, little appetite, as well as pain/burning in my stomach.
The anxiety I feel is all consuming, and has got worse during the menopause.
I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone, as I find comfort knowing other feel the same, we can't all have terminal illnesses can we? :grouphug:keep posting
Thank you for all of the responses. I do realise that i suffer from health anxiety but this does not account for all of the physical stuff that is going on
malabsorption of fat
erratic glucose levels
sharp pains in abdomen
weight loss
What is worse is that i know when i raise these concerns with the gp that she will simply refer to the consultants report a month ago and say that it cant be pancreatic cancer because he said so. At the moment i feel like i am drowning and nobody with the authority to investigate medically is listening.
Firstly, forget about doing any home testing. Completely unreliable, and of no relevance whatsoever when compared to testing performed by medical professionals.
Secondly, sharp pains can be caused by a number of things, not just pancreatic cancer. Anxiety is one of these, and it can also cause weight loss.
You don't know you have malabsorption of fat, and you have none of the red flag symptoms for pancreatic cancer.
You had various tests, all negative, medical professionals tell you that you don't have anything seriously wrong, yet you're choosing to ignore all of these on the basis of what you've read on Google and unreliable home testing kits.
You don't have pancreatic cancer, you have HA. Address this and you'll be in a better place.
---------- Post added at 12:45 ---------- Previous post was at 12:43 ----------
What is worse is that i know when i raise these concerns with the gp that she will simply refer to the consultants report a month ago and say that it cant be pancreatic cancer because he said so. At the moment i feel like i am drowning and nobody with the authority to investigate medically is listening.
And why should they? They've done their job thoroughly, so why don't you believe them? Further testing is irrelevant and not needed.
I second what Wilkie says: how do you know you have malabsorption of fat? You CANNOT judge that yourself. I’ve wrongly diagnosed myself with that before... floating poo with a greasy film on top of the water? Yup. And even if you do have malabsorption I don’t think it can be a pancreatic issue because your bile ducts are clear. Bacterial imbalances etc can cause it.
You mentioned pancreatic insufficiency: will your consultant check for this?
As for weight loss and tummy pains..... you have had an incredibly tough time recently: is it any wonder you have physical symptoms?
Let me ask you this (one my therapist has asked me) How sure are you have pancreatic cancer - put a percentage on it (99%? 70%? 3%?). Try to weigh up all the evidence as objectively as you can....taking into account how many people in your age group will be diagnosed with it in any given year (1 in 13,500 - I did the sums for you!) ; and also taking into account all your negative tests. Try to take an impartial view. You are not Ruth. How likely is it that Ruth has pancreatic cancer?
Just popping in to say I'm going through something similar for the past month or so...stomach pains/uneasiness, feelings of fullness/burping, some very mild back pain on and off. I've also gone off the rails and self-diagnosed with stomach cancer or pancreatic cancer. I also know either of those are beyond rare in my age group (mid-30s). It's most likely something like gastritis or an ulcer or maybe just plain old HA. Still, that's not how HA works of course.
I've managed to put off seeing the doctors twice now but have finally given in and have an appointment on Monday. I'm sure he'll want to do some tests, suspect nothing that I suspect, and I'll walk out with some sort of diet plan or something generic - basically his way of saying "I understand you feel crappy but I can find nothing wrong with you."
I know because I went through this and have gone through this at least twice now - last year with fear of colon cancer due to bowel movement changes (which somehow disappeared like magic after I saw the gastro about 4 times and took more stool samples than I care to remember), and breast cancer with a lump I found which turned out to be a cyst (after 5 ultrasounds, a mammogram, and a visit to a specialist to confirm since I was so scared they were missing something).
This is what the cycle of reassurance-seeking will get you. A neverending quest for the "answer", 100%, which no one in earth can give you (a good doc will get you to at least 98% confidence). It is difficult, time-consuming, expensive, and when you are not in a HA spiral you will wonder why you ever did it in the first place. :(
I second what Wilkie says: how do you know you have malabsorption of fat? You CANNOT judge that yourself. I’ve wrongly diagnosed myself with that before... floating poo with a greasy film on top of the water? Yup. And even if you do have malabsorption I don’t think it can be a pancreatic issue because your bile ducts are clear. Bacterial imbalances etc can cause it.
You mentioned pancreatic insufficiency: will your consultant check for this?
As for weight loss and tummy pains..... you have had an incredibly tough time recently: is it any wonder you have physical symptoms?
Let me ask you this (one my therapist has asked me) How sure are you have pancreatic cancer - put a percentage on it (99%? 70%? 3%?). Try to weigh up all the evidence as objectively as you can....taking into account how many people in your age group will be diagnosed with it in any given year (1 in 13,500 - I did the sums for you!) ; and also taking into account all your negative tests. Try to take an impartial view. You are not Ruth. How likely is it that Ruth has pancreatic cancer?
Hi. I am waiting for hospital appt to test for pancreatic insufficiency so you are correct that I don't know for sure. However if I eat anything fatty you can see oil drops in toilet water after bowel movement. The weight issue is more difficult to assess. I have lost 2.5 stone over last year. The weight loss was relatively slow but from last Thursday to today I lost 5.6 kgs the most I have ever lost in such a short time.
In March blood tests were done which had elevated liver function results although they were deemed to be satisfactory by gp. Sugar was high but retested and was fine.
You asked how positive I was it is pancreatic cancer and I would say 99 percent because to me all the evidence is there in the symptoms
So why are you waiting for a hospital appointment if it's 100% cut and dried pancreatic cancer?
And I would say, 99.99999999% you don't have pancreatic cancer. Not even close. Jaundice? Itching? Back Pain? Crippling abdominal pain? Diabetes? Nausea? Vomiting? Fatty lumps? Weight loss over a year is nothing at all. I've managed to lose 20lbs in 6 weeks! Just through anxiety.
Have you seen somebody with pancreatic cancer? Do you know how fast acting it is? You'd be severely ill by now if you did have it with no treatment
You've had endless tests, dr's, specialists, etc etc tell you you don't have anything wrong. Why are you so adamant they are wrong, with only decades of experience, and you are right, armed only with Dr Google and your own imagination? Fatty stools can be caused by any number of things, including anxiety.
Sorry to be blunt, but you'll end up in a spiral unless you get help for the real problem, not the imaginary one
"Told ya so Gang" on standby :winks:
Positive thoughts
You asked how positive I was it is pancreatic cancer and I would say 99 percent because to me all the evidence is there in the symptoms[/QUOTE]
You MUST see that is irrational. Please say you can see it?
You have been told that a tumour big enough to cause symptoms is big enough to be seen clearly on a CT scan. Your CT scan was clear. Pancreatic cancer in your age group is rare enough (1 in over 1300. 1300!!! That is a big number!!). And how many symptom causing tumours will be invisible to CT scans? Probably almost none. So that probably puts your chances of having it to about 1 in 500,000.
And yet you say you are 99% sure you have it. Because of your symptoms. But I’m SURE you have consulted dr google enough to know that pancreatic cancer is VERY hard to diagnose from symptoms alone, because SO MANY other more benign things can cause the same symptoms. And you must also know that it is usually diagnosed late because by the time it causes symptoms AT ALL it is advanced. And again we go back to: Advanced cancer is NOT invisible to CT.
I know I’m going on: but please say you recognise your thinking is not rational??
At the moment i cant see that its irrational. I realise that a consultant gastroenterologist a month ago said i didnt have it but i wasnt getting the very sharp abdominal pains i am now and i wasnt losing 5.6 kgs in 6 days. Neither was i aware that the glucose levels were erratic.
Part of the reason i disbelieve the consultant now is that i read many posts on the macmillan pancreatic group from people who had scans saw nothing but were still eventually diagnosed with it and also people who pursued scans eventually being told that they had found tumours less than 1 cm and they had pursued it because they were getting symptoms.
I realise that my researching is in no way comparable to a medic but its the only thing i can do. Its the overall picture i believe is worrying not any individual symptom. Yes i have had back pain back in march and near constant pains in both rib cages since. I was sick in February and now May. No jaundice but only 60% of those with pancreatic cancer present with jaundice because it depends on where in the pancreas the problem is.
If i have it the only thing i can do is to try and get it at an early stage and that is what i am trying t do. My mental health is suffering because of this fear.
At the moment i cant see that its irrational. I realise that a consultant gastroenterologist a month ago said i didnt have it but i wasnt getting the very sharp abdominal pains i am now and i wasnt losing 5.6 kgs in 6 days. Neither was i aware that the glucose levels were erratic.
Part of the reason i disbelieve the consultant now is that i read many posts on the macmillan pancreatic group from people who had scans saw nothing but were still eventually diagnosed with it and also people who pursued scans eventually being told that they had found tumours less than 1 cm and they had pursued it because they were getting symptoms.
That is what I like to call the health anxiety trap. It's a trap because you can never escape it, no matter what tests you get done. Here's what happens:
You have a symptom(s)
Go to doctor, get tested for symptom(s) to see what it is
Doctor finds nothing/something mild or unrelated
Symptom persists, so you worry and self-diagnose as something awful
Read stories about doctors missing something, self-diagnosis now seen as "that thing doctors are forgetting to check for/the test is wrong...I've solved the problem!"
You go back to doctor and tell them your fear, they still find nothing
Disbelief of doctor intensifies
You now are certain you are dying and the doctors are too stupid to figure it out
HA continues ad infinitum
Doctors are not infallible, but the chances of them missing something causing symptoms especially through multiple tests is almost nil. If that were true, modern medicine would be useless because it would never find anything. I bet there are more to those "my scan missed the X" stories than what people say on the Internet.
At the moment i cant see that its irrational. I realise that a consultant gastroenterologist a month ago said i didnt have it but i wasnt getting the very sharp abdominal pains i am now and i wasnt losing 5.6 kgs in 6 days. Neither was i aware that the glucose levels were erratic.
Part of the reason i disbelieve the consultant now is that i read many posts on the macmillan pancreatic group from people who had scans saw nothing but were still eventually diagnosed with it and also people who pursued scans eventually being told that they had found tumours less than 1 cm and they had pursued it because they were getting symptoms.
I realise that my researching is in no way comparable to a medic but its the only thing i can do. Its the overall picture i believe is worrying not any individual symptom. Yes i have had back pain back in march and near constant pains in both rib cages since. I was sick in February and now May. No jaundice but only 60% of those with pancreatic cancer present with jaundice because it depends on where in the pancreas the problem is.
If i have it the only thing i can do is to try and get it at an early stage and that is what i am trying t do. My mental health is suffering because of this fear.
You had back pain in march? You were sick in February and May
Past tense - not present. Do you think cancer just comes and goes as it pleases?
Your making your symptoms fit what your fear is. If it was pancreatic cancer, it wouldn't go away and return. You don't have erratic glucose levels - you had a retest and it was fine. Very common. I've had several retests including liver function, etc etc.
The very fact you can't see how irrational your fear is just confirms how irrational you actually are. You refuse to believe anybody but yourself, including drs with years and years of experience who are TRAINED to spot these things. They very,very rarely mess up. I know a dr personally (family friend) and he, in his whole career, has NEVER come across anything like this, either in his surgery, or when dealing with consultants.
HI Wilky44
Thank you so much for your response. I know it is rare for consultants to make mistakes and i had consulted a consultant because gps see very few cases of pancreatic cancer in their career. In my gp surgery out of 9000 patients my old gp had only known of 3 cases in 3 years.
i worried after i had seen the consultant that i had missed telling him something that was critical even though i had written down in advance all that had happened to me over a year.
The fear of this cancer is so bad that at the moment i almost believe that i wont be here at christmas. I have spent a lot of money having private procedures and consultations in the past and i can no longer afford that. That in itself causes anxiety because i have to wait for the nhs timelines.
i am hoping that my talk with my gp today may help things
Do let us know how you get on with the GP and probably do stay away from pancreatic cancer forums... they don’t tell you anything about the likelihood YOU have it and you will just end up scaring yourself. I know what it is like to be in the depths of an HA spiral and when you are that scared the reassurance doesn’t work anymore. You crave it but don’t believe it. However time works. When you find you ARE still alive at Christmas you might start to doubt your terminal diagnosis... and gradually the fear will subside. But if you have severe HA (as I do) something ELSE will crop up. So although time helps with each individual scare, it doesn’t help overall. You do need therapy (and hard work)!!
HI Jojo
Spoke to the gp at lunchtime and reported the blood sugar episode, the weight loss, the new sharp abdo pains etc.
She says we will keep an eye on the blood sugars and has asked me to go for a fasting blood sugar blood test. So not the hb1ca test over several weeks. She says it could be that i am pre diabetic.
I asked if the liver function tests could be redone and she said yes so that is a good thing. i said i was worried about the overall picture and pancreatic cancer, She said that the symptoms i am reporting would be expected when panc cancer is big enough to be seen on ct. I asked if there was anything in what i have told her and been tested for that would suggest that i wont be here at xmas and she said no. I said that i dont want to be one of the people who find out way down the line that they have a 7cm tumour and only therefore get a very short time post diagnosis.
I have to collect a prescription for a drug that the psych prescribed at a very low level. The test for malabsorption could be a while away she said. The referral for it went in 15 April but i havent even got a letter yet indicating that the referral has been received so lord alone knows when i will get that test.
Next week is the appointment for a neurology referral......and so it goes on.
and so it goes on.
And it will continue to do so until you get your anxiety under control. Take the meds, work hard on your therapy and you will eventually see the light of day.
Good luck and as always...
Positive thoughts
Snooper1, if you are 99% sure it's pancreatic cancer than why do you come to the Health Anxiety forums? It makes no sense. If you really believed it you wouldn't bother talking about here, none of us can help you with cancer. But you come here because a part of you knows it's HA and you want someone to convince you that it really is HA. You also want to argue your case here because that's what feeds your HA. It's very self-destructive. I totally understand your fears, I've had them for years. But I'm no longer in denial about my condition and I just call it what it is - terrible anxiety.
I don't believe I ever denied on here that I didn't have ha. But that is a world away from being able to effectively deal with it. However if you would rather I didn't post here I will comply.
Gosh, how dramatic. I'm not sure which part of my messages said don't post here. Good luck with all the future tests and I really hope you're healthy and sound.
Of course you must keep posting - please! Above poster was just suggesting that you may know, deep down, that you probably don’t have pancreatic cancer. I really do think this forum is the place for you because you will find lots of people who have symptoms and fears you relate to, but who DONT have pancreatic cancer...
Good luck and KEEP POSTING
HI Jojo
Okay well just been back to have blood tests done to test fasting blood glucose levels and liver function tests. I asked for the lfts to be redone as its 3 months since they were done. They werent perfect then and given that its over on the right where much of my discomfort is i thought it might be sensible to revisit them.
Results likely to be there Friday but in a way dreading them and not dreading them. I want them done so either it will have changed for the better or worse. If worse then i assume the gp will want to do something else.
Tomorrow is the neurology appointment i have waited 5 months for but that one isnt really worrying me at the moment.
Neurology? What’s going on there? A previous worry?
Yes. Muscle twitching all over body on and off for past year. Neuro did full reflex check and history says not mnd.
Oh my goodness!! I’ve had that fear too!
That one’s a bad one huh? But then so is pancreatic cancer I guess!
HI Jojo
Yes its a bad one but given that my other fear is pancreatic cancer my concern about mnd was relatively low. Neurologist is sure i dont have mnd which is great. I just have to get past the blood test results from my gp for the sugar and liver functions.
Just called gp surgery. Blood results are in but only arrived today and are still being reviewed by doc. Of course the first thing that comes into my head is that they cant give me them cos they are bad or something wildly out of kilter with them.
The other bit of me says they have only arrived in the surgery today and all results have to be reviewed by doc which means mine is only one of hundreds. So why didnt she say call back later instead of call back tomorrow?
Hmmmmmmmmmm
AMomentofClarity
07-06-18, 19:56
The other bit of me says they have only arrived in the surgery today and all results have to be reviewed by doc which means mine is only one of hundreds.
The “other bit” is the rational side....I’d go with that.
The path lab would flag up a result which needed same day attention by a GP though.
Do u think so? I guess I have read stories of labs calling people and telling them to go straight to hospital but not in uk. My head is saying gp is working out how to tell me ...hence saying to call Friday.
I was called at 5am once at home by the Path lab regarding my daughter's blood test which indicated severe neutropenia from SSRIs. GP surgeries receive masses of test results each day but the path lab sifts out the urgent from the non-urgent ones for the GP to focus on.
---------- Post added at 21:10 ---------- Previous post was at 21:08 ----------
Do u think so? I guess I have read stories of labs calling people and telling them to go straight to hospital but not in uk. My head is saying gp is working out how to tell me ...hence saying to call Friday.
That's your HA head saying this. GPs don't work out how to tell patients bad news-they are quite used to this as it's part of their job.
Thanks for that pulisa good to know that they do that .
I just wanted to tell you about my experience. I hope you get some reassuring news tomorrow. It's horrible waiting for test results-all sorts of scenarios-normally the worst-go through your mind.
And it’s amazing how one once terrible fear can seem implausible when a new one takes hold. Right?
And pulisa is totally right. Doctors don’t run away and hide so they can work out how to tell someone a result is out of kilter. That is not how medical training works, I’m pretty sure.
Waiting is rubbish though. Utter hell
---------- Post added at 21:42 ---------- Previous post was at 21:40 ----------
I know your mum has died, and I’m so sorry, but do you mind me asking what she made of your health anxiety? You mentioned earlier that you were very close....
HI
Tried to call just now 8.30am for results and receptionist said they were short staffed so as i wanted results and that takes longer can i phone back after 11!
Aside from fearing these results i have had a really horible night with pain in right hand rib bage most of the night adding fuel to my fears that there is something horrible wrong with liver. I also had really bad indigestion yesterday afternoon which lasted for ages and of course indigestion is one of the listed symptoms of pancreatic cancer.
All roads lead back to the same place and for me it is no longer 'if' they find out i have this but 'when' they find out. I am annoyed that months of telling them has still not convinced them to investigate further . I am weary of going back and back to the gp but i cannot stop as i have to find out what is wrong. I hate this.
Jojo - yes i was very close to my mum. She hated the health anxiety and it upset her terribly. She blamed herself for a long time until i explained that i didnt believe there was blame to be apportioned and that i think it was the death of a relative from cancer that set it all off.
---------- Post added at 11:04 ---------- Previous post was at 08:45 ----------
Got report from gp surgery that blood tests results are stable....which i am taking to mean that they are pretty much what they were in March.
Because of the ongoing discomfort in right side rib cage i have requested telephone appointment with another gp next Thurs to discuss this. I dont know what else i can do?
Of course i have read about people taking a very long time with discomfort etc before eventually they are diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I have had two imaging procedures , an ultrasound a year ago which showed nothing and a ct scan with contrast in March this year which showed nothing on the liver or the pancreas. I am desperate for them to carry out more imaging as i fear something lurking there that has been too small initially to see.
Got report from gp surgery that blood tests results are stable....which i am taking to mean that they are pretty much what they were in March.
Cancer is an uncontrolled growth of abnormal cells. It doesn't come and go nor does it stop once it starts.
"Told ya so Gang" on standby :winks:
https://media.giphy.com/media/ZgGYYD5nplsAg/giphy.gif
I don't doubt you're having symptoms, it's just not what you fear. I also don't doubt that what I see here is someone in the grips of severe HA and chasing a diagnosis for a disease they don't have, while overlooking the elephant in the room.
Good luck. I hope you feel better soon.
Positive thoughts
Cancer is an uncontrolled growth of abnormal cells. It doesn't come and go nor does it stop once it starts.
https://media.giphy.com/media/ZgGYYD5nplsAg/giphy.gif
I don't doubt you're having symptoms, it's just not what you fear. I also don't doubt that what I see here is someone in the grips of severe HA and chasing a diagnosis for a disease they don't have, while overlooking the elephant in the room.
Good luck. I hope you feel better soon.
Positive thoughts
Very true words. Fishmanpa talks more sense than most therapists!
You are not fine. You do have a problem but it is not the one you fear. But it may take some time before you see that
HI Fishmanpa
It is so difficult dealing with this as you know. On the one hand i have several pieces of evidence that suggest nothing is wrong but on the other i have symptoms and my body is telling me there is something seriously wrong. Added to which my reading has exposed me to several instances where what i fear has taken a very long to be visible on a scan or indeed to even get to a scan.
There is also part of me saying that i should just get on and live my life instead of waiting for a definitive result on what is wrong. I know all this but can see no way of reconciling all of the perspectives. How anyone manages to ignore health things is amazing and i wish i could do that but gp says it is very likely that they cannot fix the health anxiety and that i will always have a tendency towards it.
HI Fishmanpa
It is so difficult dealing with this as you know. On the one hand i have several pieces of evidence that suggest nothing is wrong but on the other i have symptoms and my body is telling me there is something seriously wrong. Added to which my reading has exposed me to several instances where what i fear has taken a very long to be visible on a scan or indeed to even get to a scan.
There is also part of me saying that i should just get on and live my life instead of waiting for a definitive result on what is wrong. I know all this but can see no way of reconciling all of the perspectives. How anyone manages to ignore health things is amazing and i wish i could do that but gp says it is very likely that they cannot fix the health anxiety and that i will always have a tendency towards it.
It is true - they cannot fix the health anxiety. However, you can.
I fear I will also always suffer from it to some extent. But I definitely have periods of “remission” (and periods of shear panic). It sucks and I too totally envy people who are not constantly thinking they are about to die!!!
I fear I will also always suffer from it to some extent. But I definitely have periods of “remission” (and periods of shear panic). It sucks and I too totally envy people who are not constantly thinking they are about to die!!!
While I do believe that there are some that are totally cured of mental illness, most tend to deal with it throughout their lives. I believe one can "heal" from it much like one heals from a surgery. For me personally, I bear the scars and side effects of serious physical illnesses. They plague me every day. I honestly don't recall what it's like to live pain free. Just like the scars of a physical illness, I believe there are mental scars from mental illnesses and traumatic experiences. I certainly have mental scars from my experience too and the aforementioned physical side effects remind of my ordeal every day. It comes down to accepting them and finding ways to live your live happily and productively in spite of them.
Positive thoughts
Yep. Life’s a struggle huh? Worth it though....
Jojo was talking about periods of remission. Usually i have those however this time this has been ongoing since Jan2017 which is a very long time and which is why my gp surgery i imagine really dont want to see me ever again. I know they are stgruggling with trying to meet demand and i am of course adding to that demand relentlessly.
Worth it.....sometimes i guess. Probably even more so since the death of my mum as it takes something like that sometimes to make you sit up and take notice of the things that matter. Daily life gets in the way and you lose sight of the things that matter. Mindfulness is supposed t get you to concentrate on the present moment. I do try to do that but it takes a lot of practice.....
A period of remission would be nice so if you know how to bring that on....
If I knew that.....::!
Currently not in one.... and if only I could click my fingers and feel safe!
---------- Post added at 17:00 ---------- Previous post was at 16:53 ----------
And I know you probably think that because this particular fear has lasted longer than the others, it is somehow more likely to be true? Not so! I’ve fallen into that trap myself...
Currently suffering from the side effects of the new drug prescribed to me. Mega tiredness so much so that all i want to do is sleep all the time. Called a gp who has agreed to lower the dose which starts tonight. Heres hoping that that makes a difference.
What are you taking? I was once prescribed a tricyclics and it REALLY disagreed with me!
I am on paroxetine and they have added respiridone to boost it. Now been reduced to 2mg much better. Just been to visit 86 yr old dad but can't stop thinking about how it would be awful if I had to tell him I had panc cancer .My best friend away just now and panicking again about cancer
Still fretting. It is difficult for me to see it from a docs perspective. From my perspective there are too many symptoms which scream pancreatic cancer
left flank pain
pain in right rib cage
feeling hot and sweating
occasional indigestion
originally pain in mid back
As there has never been jaundice and ct scan shows ducts are not blocked the tumour could be in the body or tail of the pancreas and my fear is that it has gone to the liver as well hence the sweating and the right rib cage pain.
How do i get the gp to do more investigation? She is relying on the consultant who saw me 6 weeks ago and a ct scan 3 months ago. Meanwhile i go out of my head with fear so much so that they have prescribed additional head meds to cope with it.
How do i get the gp to do more investigation?
You don't. But you can ask for a referral for real life professional help with your anxiety :shrug:
Positive thoughts
There is a referral in for real life professional help with the anxiety. It is likely to be a long time in hte coming. Meanwhile the symptoms contiue to stack up and i worry that by the time they find it it will be stage 4 as per 90% of the cases.
paranoid-viking
18-06-18, 14:53
Still fretting. It is difficult for me to see it from a docs perspective. From my perspective there are too many symptoms which scream pancreatic cancer
left flank pain
pain in right rib cage
feeling hot and sweating
occasional indigestion
originally pain in mid back
As there has never been jaundice and ct scan shows ducts are not blocked the tumour could be in the body or tail of the pancreas and my fear is that it has gone to the liver as well hence the sweating and the right rib cage pain.
How do i get the gp to do more investigation? She is relying on the consultant who saw me 6 weeks ago and a ct scan 3 months ago. Meanwhile i go out of my head with fear so much so that they have prescribed additional head meds to cope with it.
Is your pain persistent or does it come and go?
ThroatGoat
18-06-18, 15:13
Have they checked your liver function?
Also, from what I've read (and I'm not a doctor of course) it sounds like you're having some pains. Doesn't sound like PC to me, but that's just my opinion.
The pains come and go. The liver function tests were raised but within satisfactory levels. The last check on these was just the other week and they said they were stable including the glucose level.
The pains come and go.
Cancer in an uncontrolled growth of abnormal cells. It doesn't come and go nor does it stop once it starts.
When my cancer got to the point of causing discomfort and pain. It didn't come and go. It was constant.
I can see you're deep in the rabbit hole so I'll just wish you peace and hope you find your way out.
Good luck and as always...
Positive thoughts
Still fretting. It is difficult for me to see it from a docs perspective. From my perspective there are too many symptoms which scream pancreatic cancer
left flank pain
pain in right rib cage
feeling hot and sweating
occasional indigestion
originally pain in mid back
As there has never been jaundice and ct scan shows ducts are not blocked the tumour could be in the body or tail of the pancreas and my fear is that it has gone to the liver as well hence the sweating and the right rib cage pain.
How do i get the gp to do more investigation? She is relying on the consultant who saw me 6 weeks ago and a ct scan 3 months ago. Meanwhile i go out of my head with fear so much so that they have prescribed additional head meds to cope with it.
I have EVERY SINGLE ONE of those symptoms. Just saying.
I also have every single symptom you mention, and a good few more. I also know right now it is 100% anxiety (not health anxiety either, have some other stuff going on unrelated to HA). That said, I am pretty proud to be able to look at my physical anxiety symptoms and see them for what they are. When you can get there, and you can, it is an amazing feeling.
We are creatures designed to have anxiety. It serves a purpose. I have always know I would never be anxiety free, I have just strived to feel less of it, and if possible, feel it when it is an appropriate thing to feel. I am starting to get there, to feel anxiety when it is rational to do so, and feel a lot less when it is not. You can too, Snooper1.
I applaud those of you who are mastering their anxiety and their health anxiety. I suppose my question is how do you/i know its health anxiety and not something else?
I am very depressed at the moment and feel i have no life really as all of it is spent in the future which i see as non existent. I lumber from gp appt to the next feeling like i am screaming inside but 'nobody' is listening. I know that is not true but that is what it feels like
paranoid-viking
20-06-18, 10:11
The pains come and go. The liver function tests were raised but within satisfactory levels. The last check on these was just the other week and they said they were stable including the glucose level.
Symptoms of aggresive fast spreading cancers does not come and go.
Having said that, I dont think like some others here that it may only be anxiety that is causing your symptoms; but it is not cancer; then it would be worse. But it could be something like gastritis or mild stomach ulcer or something. You should ask them to check your stomach for possible H pylori bacteria.
I applaud those of you who are mastering their anxiety and their health anxiety. I suppose my question is how do you/i know its health anxiety and not something else?
I am very depressed at the moment and feel i have no life really as all of it is spent in the future which i see as non existent. I lumber from gp appt to the next feeling like i am screaming inside but 'nobody' is listening. I know that is not true but that is what it feels like
It is REALLY hard. So sorry you are feeling depressed. But I do sense progress in you. You’ve admitted there is a difference between what you feel and what is true. That is progress!
Is your friend back yet?
Today I am convinced I have a brain tumour. Just telling you so you know there are people out there having similar thoughts and fears!!
---------- Post added at 11:02 ---------- Previous post was at 10:45 ----------
Just a thought: have you got any books about health anxiety? There are a few about and they can be really helpful for putting things in perspective. And also try mindfulness: it is a way of bring your attention to the present moment, and away from future fears etc...
It is REALLY hard. So sorry you are feeling depressed. But I do sense progress in you. You’ve admitted there is a difference between what you feel and what is true. That is progress!
Is your friend back yet?
Today I am convinced I have a brain tumour. Just telling you so you know there are people out there having similar thoughts and fears!!
---------- Post added at 11:02 ---------- Previous post was at 10:45 ----------
Just a thought: have you got any books about health anxiety? There are a few about and they can be really helpful for putting things in perspective. And also try mindfulness: it is a way of bring your attention to the present moment, and away from future fears etc...
My friend is being uncommunicative at the moment...long story but he has history of depression also. I have books on health anxiety and have worked through them in the past.
Re the brain tumour.....i also worried about this last year and ended up with a ct head scan as i was suffering twitches all over. have just seen a neurologist who determined that i dont have a brain tumour nor mnd which was a parallel fear. Both are very rare and at least for brain tumours there are now vaccines in the offing that make a big difference. I cant say if you have this but if your gp says no then i guess perhaps health anxiety may be talking?
I HOPE it is the health anxiety talking but like you say, it is hard to tell!!
I have a gp appointment tomo but she tends to be dismissive of my brain tumour fears(I’ve had them before).
So it sounds like you need a better real life support network. Do you have siblings/ other family?
I have a sister up north but she doesnt really understand my health anxieties although aware of them for years. She also has a husband who has serious health issues so she has little time for my worries ...she has a lot on her plate. My friends are long suffering and who can blame them for not being too interested after years of trying to help someone who so far has proved not to have any of the things that she has been seriously worried about.
My dad is elderly and is of the generation who go completely with whatever a gp says and so if the gp says all is fine t hen it is!
My sister has recently advocated trying to become part of a church community as they are usually very supportive. I have never been a real church goer although i believe there is something in it.
My best friend has supported me for many years but as with many others gets exasperated because nothing he says changes my mind.
Yes I know the problem. People get exasperated with me too and I can totally see why!
But yet from my perspective I’m so so frightened and the thing I’m frightened of COULD be true......
sometimes I think the best way is to NOT tackle health anxiety head on, but to fill life up with other things. So from that perspective I think the church community would be an extremely good idea. I’m not a church goer either, but I’ve heard about - and seen - the support and compassion they offer people. And also it might detract from the crippling inward focus that comes with health anxiety. Certainly worth giving it a try!
I really feel for you, Snooper. You know you are in the grips of unrelenting HA at a time of particular distress to you in view of your recent bereavement. HA is filling the huge gap in your life in a negative way but filling that gap positively is far from straightforward and it's not just a question of the standard "therapy and meds" solution..
Your sister is trying to help you constructively and obviously cares for you very much. If you think that there would be some comfort for you in the support of a church community then I think you should at least give it a go? HA is very isolating as it's hard for people to help you if you're locked into HA and unable to modify your mindset.
Panic has set in. More frequent episodes of sweating happening which make me think that a cancer has migrated to the liver. Just want to hide in bed. Seeing doc Tues.
If you had metastases to your liver, from pancreatic cancer, you wouldn't be on your PC. You'd be seriously ill, and I mean seriously
You are going to be OK snooper. You don’t have pancreatic cancer. You have depression and anxiety. They suck but they are not going to kill you.
Let us know how the Dr appointment goes
i have been going through a very similar thing but no weight loss please let me know how you get on good luck im sure it will be ok
I understand that liver metastases would be very likely make u v ill but people I know who were diagnosed with pancreatic cancer said they were sweating and going hot etc for m9nths before diagnosis. Night sweats are emerging and left flank pain is back. Hoping gp will really listen and either agree to 're image me or refer me back to the private consultant I saw.
No very likely about it.
Do you personally know anybody who's had PC, or just who you've read about.
Your Dr has listened, he's diagnosed, you've had tests. What more do you want? More tests are not needed in the slightest. Do you think you know more than him as you've consulted Dr Google?
In the month since you started this thread, you would have become noticeably worse. You can continue to chase a diagnosis that will never come or look into to treating the illness you so obviously have :shrug:
Positive thoughts
I understand that liver metastases would be very likely make u v ill but people I know who were diagnosed with pancreatic cancer said they were sweating and going hot etc for m9nths before diagnosis. Night sweats are emerging and left flank pain is back. Hoping gp will really listen and either agree to 're image me or refer me back to the private consultant I saw.
Oh Snooper - poor you!
I am I right in suspecting the people you “know” are those you have found on the pancreatic cancer forums? I do hope you no longer look on these as they will REALLY skew your perception of the likelihood of this disease. You are in your early 50s right, and female? How many women in this age bracket have sweating and hot flashes? Maybe 95%? And how many women of this age develop pancreatic cancer? Less than 1 in 13,000 (true statistic). Given these numbers is sweating an indication of pancreatic cancer. NO OF COURSE NOT!!!
Same for flank pain. I get that all the time (particularly when I am going through a phase of worrying about pancreatic cancer!! :blush:)
But the doctor has already told you this (and has done the tests to back her up). So my saying it isn’t going to make any difference - I know that.
I think you are in so deep that no amount of logic is going to change your belief. I suspect your best hope is to “ignore” your belief and do something positive to improve your mental state. Your sister suggested joining the church community- it’s such a good idea! - have you done anything about this yet? And have you have any therapy yet?
You CAN get better! You can do it! :hugs:
I will try and respond to all in this post. Yes i have known someone whose partner was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and it was the partner who said that he had had flu like symptoms with hot and cold etc. Yes i have read about people on the macmillan forum who have it and report bloods being ok but still finding it.
I have just been to gp appointment. The liver function test results were better than i thought even though they reported them as stable. GGT was down from 41 previously to 37 and apparently 35 is normal. Doc says there is nothing wrong with liver. I reported the sweats and night sweats and she points to menopause and stress but did ask about the nature of the sweats.
She said out right that i do not have pancreatic cancer as of this moment. Obviously that can change as with anyone and anything....a bit like an mot on a car. She is much more concerned about my mental health and has asked me to chase up the follow up appointment with the psych i saw before. I will do that.
I also have the faecal elastase test to do and hand in and the appointment for the hydrogen breath test arrived which is end of August.
I am trying to focus on the little bit of feeling a bit calmer i got from the gp appointment this time.
Great! Glad you are feeling a bit calmer...
Why not use this pause in the anxiety to take some positive steps, like acting on your sister’s suggestions for example... and be kind to yourself today
Xx
I have looked out the number for a local choir to see if i can go along for a taster session and i have booked 2 fitness sessions at my leisure centre. A start anyway............
More than a start!!!! Fantastic! WELL DONE
Xxxx
Hang on to what your doctor told you, Snooper, especially when you find yourself wanting to look at the macmillan forums. They are not relevant or appropriate for your circumstances and will only scare you and make you doubt your doctor's words again.
Don't sabotage your progress. You've made some really positive moves away from the HA mindset today. Well done!
paranoid-viking
26-06-18, 19:41
I was wondering what this Macmillan forum is. So I dod a search and whooops....it is a cancer forum! OP, stop reading this stuff! Please! It is only going to do you worse! Much worse! Am I hypocratic in saying this? Maybe! But I talk out of experience; it is horryfying to read these things. So please stop for your own good.
I was wondering what this Macmillan forum is. So I dod a search and whooops....it is a cancer forum! OP, stop reading this stuff! Please!
And please, don't post there seeking reassurance. It's disrespectful to those suffering. I saw so many HA sufferers on the cancer forum I was part of that it actually led me here to give them a piece of my mind. I ended up staying to try and help.
Positive thoughts
And please, don't post there seeking reassurance. It's disrespectful to those suffering. I saw so many HA sufferers on the cancer forum I was part of that it actually led me here to give them a piece of my mind. I ended up staying to try and help.
Positive thoughts
And help you do Fishmanpa. You are a wonder to me!!
Attended choir last night which was quite nice and welcoming. Today i seem to have indigestion which immediately brings me back tothe fears. I have had bouts of this in the recent past and i have told gp about it. I just see it as part of the overall picture and never get my head around why gp doesnt get my concern.
Yaaaaaayyyy!!! Well done on the choir - keep that up!! Brilliant brilliant news.
And you know perfectly well why your doctor isn’t worried about your indigestion: 99% of the population get indigestion from time to time and you have had pancreatic cancer “definitively ruled out” (your words!!)
Major panic. Stools very pale colour over weekend....freaking out. This after gp telling me liver is fine.
I was always afraid this would happen but gp at all were trying to convince me otherwise. Now I have to fight to see her or talk to her....so fed up and so upset
I frequently get and worry about pale stools! I have done for years and quite a few other people on here do too - so I guess they can’t be tooo much of a red flag symptom !!
Poor you though. Major panics are the worst. Get back to that choir!
Xx
---------- Post added at 20:28 ---------- Previous post was at 20:17 ----------
Are you enjoying the British sunshine snooper? It’s so incredible isn’t it? I feel like we have all moved to the south of France!!
Waiting for a call from the duty doctor at gp surgery. Very very frightened and feel v alone. All i can think about is the average time people with pancreatic cancer survive..............and how it will hurt my dad and sister. Feel like i am on a rollercoaster which i cant stop.
---------- Post added at 10:55 ---------- Previous post was at 08:52 ----------
Spoke to duty doc who says that if i had clay coloured stool then i would also have jaundice. He is asking me to come and have blood taken so that they can retest the liver function including bilirubin. I recently had blood test done for liver function which my gp said was stable and she told me that my liver was fine!
Very scared and told duty doc so. He just said try not to worry and reiterated that i would be jaundiced if there was an obstruction which caused the pale stool. I do not appear jaundiced at the moment so he wasnt overly concerned. I will have blood taken tomorrow morning and then wait for results.
Well there you go then, your liver is ok and you’re not jaundiced. Do what the doctor says and try not to worry. If they thought there was something to be concerned about they would mention it.
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It is SO SO unlikely, given all your tests, that your pale stools are caused by obstruction.
What is much more likely is that what you are seeing is normal variation. Do you think someone you know without health anxiety would notice or worry about the colour of stool you have been seeing?
What are you doing today? Are you with anyone?
Stay strong
Unfortunately i think the colour variation wouild be noticed by most people. I have had colour variationj in the past but never like this. I am currently at work but eventually will go home. I tried to contact my best friend asking to see him today but he is not responding.
---------- Post added at 12:35 ---------- Previous post was at 12:17 ----------
Unfortunately i think the colour variation wouild be noticed by most people. I have had colour variationj in the past but never like this. I am currently at work but eventually will go home. I tried to contact my best friend asking to see him today but he is not responding.
i have sent jojo a private message.
Posted May 25th
Ling story started Jan last year with nausea and sickness in morning on sitting up in bed. Ultrasound Feb 17 clear. Over m8nths had endoscopy and colonoscopy all clear. Ct head scan clear. March 18 pain in left flank for 4 days over two weeks then pains in rib cages. Ct scan with contrast March clear. Since then malabsorption of fat. Saw private gastroenterologist may who said Definitely not pancreatic cancer
Has it occurred to you, being that pancreatic cancer is a very fast moving cancer, that in the month+ since you started this thread, or the 18 months+ since this started you'd be pretty ill or not with us?
Positive thoughts
My daughter often does the palest yellow poos because she eats too much white bread
Posted May 25th
Has it occurred to you, being that pancreatic cancer is a very fast moving cancer, that in the month+ since you started this thread, or the 18 months+ since this started you'd be pretty ill or not with us?
Positive thoughts
Yes it has but i get caught with having read about people who outwardly look fine but who have actually been diagnosed with it including someone who was 34 at the time. I dont actually feel unwell however the things i am reporting on this forum are not imagined but getting increasingly scary in light of panc cancer symptoms. The current v pale colour of stools is not the first time this has happened but is very much the palest colour (sorry tmi). So again more blood tests and waiting for results. I can see why people get exasperated . The difficulty as you know is that the medical profession say all is ok but the body is saying otherwise and i cannot give in pursuing this in case they are wrong.
---------- Post added at 14:46 ---------- Previous post was at 13:55 ----------
I forgot to mention that there is a faecal elastase test being done becaus the private consultant thought there may be pancreatic insufficiency which he said culd be due to aging of the pancreas. He said it would be unusual in someone my age but not unheard of. I welcomed it at the time but that belief has waned esp in light of the things that have happened since i saw him. It is difficult to see how this can be anything other than what i fear as it feels like the evidence is stacking up in favour of it asa diagnosis.
You must must must stay away from cancer forums! Promise you will!
Have you done a search on here for pale stools? Lots of people worry about it......
I have been trying to stay away honestly. I havent posted anything merely read and when anxiety is rampant as it is at the moment it is very hard not to look for information. I will promise not to go and even read.
And how pale are we talking re stools - honestly? Mustard colour, cement, white? Sorry if it’s a gross question. I have four small children and lots of animals - I’m totally I shocked by poo!
---------- Post added at 15:11 ---------- Previous post was at 15:10 ----------
Unshocked, I mean
I would say somewhere between beige and oatmeal coloured. Def not white or grey.
It is difficult to see how this can be anything other than what i fear as it feels like the evidence is stacking up in favour of it asa diagnosis.
I don't doubt you're having symptoms and I'm sorry you're feeling this way. The medical evidence (and there's a lot) points away from what you fear but sadly, it's quite apparent you're stuck deep in this rabbit hole. I hope you feel better soon.
Positive thoughts
Well..... honestly..... I think what you are describing is pale yellow. I’ve def had that before.
I will be SO surprised if your bloods come back abnormal.
Blood taken and results Friday or Monday. Back to normal colour now....
Blood taken and results Friday or Monday. Back to normal colour now....
Which it wouldn’t be if there was an obstruction.....
How are you feeling today?
Which it wouldn’t be if there was an obstruction.....
Or cancer :shades:
Positive thoughts
How are you feeling now? Glad that normal colour is back. Could it have been your diet maybe?
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Which it wouldn’t be if there was an obstruction.....
How are you feeling today?
I feel a bit better than yesterday but at back of mind there is a voice saying maybe it's not fully obstructed.
I feel a bit better than yesterday but at back of mind there is a voice saying maybe it's not fully obstructed.
Of course there is! That’s because you have health anxiety. And that’s the way health anxiety works!:shades:
And another bit of me that worries that the blood results will still b abnormal
worriedpatient
03-07-18, 19:43
Hello,
We are on the same boat. I am also scared to death from PC. I have had blood tests (all OK incl. liver, pancreatic enzymes), gastric fibroscopy, colonoscopy and abdominal ultrasound, everything OK. Been told by two gastroenterologist, it is IBS combined with anxiety. Now I am in touch with the third, pushing for MRI. I have all symptoms you have mentioned + nausea and occasional heartburn. In the beginning, I have had dull pain in mid/upper back only when in the bed, now it is presented almost all day. Mid/upper back pain is a very unusual symptom for IBS from what I read. My stools turned to normal color and consistency on the other hand. Good luck, to all of us
I feel for u I really do. My enzymes are being tested now but pretty sure they are abnormal. Liver tests have been satisfactory so far. Every time something new happens I go into orbit.
Even though the colour is def now normal i think i have itchy skin which would be another indicator of jaundice. I have had itchy skin before which gp said couldnt be jaundice cos the bloods didnt fit that. I guess then it all hangs on the results which i am waiting for. Very apprehensive of them.
Posted May 25th
Ling story started Jan last year with nausea and sickness in morning on sitting up in bed. Ultrasound Feb 17 clear. Over m8nths had endoscopy and colonoscopy all clear. Ct head scan clear. March 18 pain in left flank for 4 days over two weeks then pains in rib cages. Ct scan with contrast March clear. Since then malabsorption of fat. Saw private gastroenterologist may who said Definitely not pancreatic cancer
Has it occurred to you, being that pancreatic cancer is a very fast moving cancer, that in the month+ since you started this thread, or the 18 months+ since this started you'd be pretty ill or not with us?
I would like to hear your thoughts on these facts as you've ignored my posts and latched on to anything remotely reassuring from others.
Positive thoughts
Hello,
Have your symptoms been going on for long?
I would like to hear your thoughts on these facts as you've ignored my posts and latched on to anything remotely reassuring from others.
Positive thoughts
Have to agree with FMP. Concentrating on symptoms that may match the illness de jeur while ignoring medical evidence to the contrary is classic HA behaviour.
I do not want to sound patronising but long time members of the board are fully aware off the situation that is playing out before our eyes.
And the really sad thing for members helping is that, from experience, after you finally believe that you are not dying we will never hear from you again.
worriedpatient
04-07-18, 18:40
Hello,
Have your symptoms been going on for long?
Hello, my symptoms are going on for exactly one month and one week.
---------- Post added at 17:40 ---------- Previous post was at 16:53 ----------
Even though the colour is def now normal i think i have itchy skin which would be another indicator of jaundice. I have had itchy skin before which gp said couldnt be jaundice cos the bloods didnt fit that. I guess then it all hangs on the results which i am waiting for. Very apprehensive of them.
Snooper, I did a lot of research on this disease. I try to be logical for myself (it is not working so well for now), and I try to be logical for you as well and maybe for others.
This is from one study from 1996.
"In conclusion, the diagnostic accuracy of sonography for the detection of pancreatic cancer is sufficiently high."
I believe, that ultrasounds became much better from 1996, and you have had a CT scan as well.
Jaundice appears only if the cancer is in the head of pancreas or has spread to your liver. The tumour on your liver would def have been seen on your ultrasound (but you have had also a CT SCAN!!). So, I see for us only to have stage 1 or stage 2 pancreatic cancer. In these stages, there are almost no symptoms, we both are describing symptoms of stage 3/4. Accuracy of ultrasound in detecting of stage1 or stage2 PC was in 2014 91.1% and 95.7% (but lucky you... you have had CT SCAN).
"Our results show that the efficacy of ultrasound examination in detecting pancreatic cancer is only slightly lower than that of other imaging methods such as MRI or 64 slice multidetector row CT with angiography, which are currently being considered as having the highest diagnostic accuracy" from 2014.
I am trying to reasoning, but I am scared as well because I do experience dull mid back pain all day (even now). The thing is, I do not know if I have HA because I never feared of my health before. Literally, only one week before all this started I was scared that I have skin cancer (ruled out by dermatologist). Right after that, this, diagnosed with IBS (which may be pancreatic cancer). So I do not know what is happenning with me. I wish it to be "only" HA.
The thing is, I do not know if I have HA...Literally, only one week before all this started I was scared that I have skin cancer (ruled out by dermatologist). Right after that, this, diagnosed with IBS (which may be pancreatic cancer). So I do not know what is happenning with me. I wish it to be "only" HA.
Those are HA examples to the letter :whistles: The question is then... if you're so convinced otherwise despite scientific medical tests and exams from medical professionals, why are you here?
Positive thoughts
I suspect then that you found your way here after googling health anxiety?
Perhaps you need to book a double appointment with your GP. Show them your research, show them this thread. Let them decide whether you need a new load of tests or to be treated for anxiety.
Because, saying you wish you only had health anxiety is downright ridiculous.
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Capercrohnj
04-07-18, 21:45
I have an ileostomy so I am very aware of my output and let me reassure you that I get a rainbow of colours depending on what I eat.
I find it amazing hearing stories about how people are seeing their 3rd GI, have multiple tests as someone with 2 diagnosed GI diseases. I have only seen 1 GI and I'm waiting to see a motility specialist but the wait is 800 days. I basically can't eat because of gastroparesis (confirmed by tests), my BMI is 17.5 and dropping and I have severe agonizing pain but have to wait 800 days while people who don't have abnormal GI tests can see 2,3 + GIs and have multiple tests in such a short amount of time.
Even though the colour is def now normal i think i have itchy skin which would be another indicator of jaundice. I have had itchy skin before which gp said couldnt be jaundice cos the bloods didnt fit that. I guess then it all hangs on the results which i am waiting for. Very apprehensive of them.
If only it did “all hang” on your blood results. If only that was all it would take to make you feel better! Wouldn’t that be wonderful??
I think what worries me most Snooper, is your inability to see what is going on here. I wonder if you do know really, but feel it would be tempting fate to admit it?
Any news on your therapy referral?
worriedpatient
04-07-18, 22:03
I suspect then that you found your way here after googling health anxiety?
Perhaps you need to book a double appointment with your GP. Show them your research, show them this thread. Let them decide whether you need a new load of tests or to be treated for anxiety.
Because, saying you wish you only had health anxiety is downright ridiculous.
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Sorry, I did not want to sound arrogant or to downplay HA... it's just I don't want to have pancreatic cancer. :-( :-( I found this forum through googling pancreatic cancer cases. I will have to wait few more days for MRI, and after that if all clear... I am decided to see a psychologist and therapist, because my pattern is apparent, but is just my second "self-diagnosis" in such a short period of time... so want to rule it out before I will look at it from a mental side. I started practicing FODMAD diet and breathing techniques as you suggested before. I think, it has some positive impact, despite the back pain is still there. Paradoxically, the pain goes when I do my jogging / any more serious physical activity. Gasgroenterologist said it's anxiety + IBS, so he gave the lowest possible dose of Grandaxin for anxiety. I know only one thing. I will see oncologist or therapist after this nightmare.
Hello,
We are on the same boat. I am also scared to death from PC. I have had blood tests (all OK incl. liver, pancreatic enzymes), gastric fibroscopy, colonoscopy and abdominal ultrasound, everything OK. Been told by two gastroenterologist, it is IBS combined with anxiety. Now I am in touch with the third, pushing for MRI. I have all symptoms you have mentioned + nausea and occasional heartburn. In the beginning, I have had dull pain in mid/upper back only when in the bed, now it is presented almost all day. Mid/upper back pain is a very unusual symptom for IBS from what I read. My stools turned to normal color and consistency on the other hand. Good luck, to all of us
Worried patient. How often do 23 year olds get pancreatic cancer? You have a one in a million chance. Literally. But you do seem to have pretty good insight - please don’t let this health anxiety disease take hold! Take steps to nip it in the bud. Good luck!
I would like to hear your thoughts on these facts as you've ignored my posts and latched on to anything remotely reassuring from others.
Positive thoughts
You asked for my thoughts on the facts. Yes all of the tests that have been done have been clear. The ultrasound , over a year ago, was fine but we all know that ultrasounds are not the gold standard of imaging and a lot of time has passed since mine was done. The endoscopy of stomach and colonoscopy were clear which is great news. The ct scan in March was clear but i worried about how much it could see if a tumour is smaller than 1cm. The consultant gastro said its true that ct have limitations but if there was something smaller than 1cm it wouldnt be causing the symptoms i was reporting. There is definitely something going on with malabsorption which is why the elastase test is now done and i am awaiting the results. There have been erratic glucose tests but the last one done was fine. Having been initially reassured by the consultant this didnt last long and now is non existent and it is 2 months now since i saw him and 4 months since the ct scan.
I didnt intentionally not respond to your posts.....apologies
---------- Post added at 08:54 ---------- Previous post was at 08:52 ----------
If only it did “all hang” on your blood results. If only that was all it would take to make you feel better! Wouldn’t that be wonderful??
I think what worries me most Snooper, is your inability to see what is going on here. I wonder if you do know really, but feel it would be tempting fate to admit it?
Any news on your therapy referral?
I do see the pattern that you see but my body is telling me there is something wrong.
i have appointment to follow up with the psych referral but no word on the psychotherapy referral yet.
---------- Post added at 08:57 ---------- Previous post was at 08:54 ----------
Have to agree with FMP. Concentrating on symptoms that may match the illness de jeur while ignoring medical evidence to the contrary is classic HA behaviour.
I do not want to sound patronising but long time members of the board are fully aware off the situation that is playing out before our eyes.
And the really sad thing for members helping is that, from experience, after you finally believe that you are not dying we will never hear from you again.
I know that ignoring evidence to the contrary is part of HA behaviour and i am very appreciative of the helpo that people on here are trying to give. I wasnt aware of this forum until recently and i would hope that if i get out my current situation that i may be able to offer some kind of support in the future
Perhaps just let us know how you get on once you’ve got your diagnosis?
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I know. And that is the thing with HA. I get exactly the same thing. “You are telling me I don’t have disease X and yet YOU are not experiencing the symptoms I have. YOU don’t have all the information”
It’s a very lonely feeling. And it’s hard to accept there are more benign causes for you symptoms.
worriedpatient
05-07-18, 18:25
I have an ileostomy so I am very aware of my output and let me reassure you that I get a rainbow of colours depending on what I eat.
I find it amazing hearing stories about how people are seeing their 3rd GI, have multiple tests as someone with 2 diagnosed GI diseases. I have only seen 1 GI and I'm waiting to see a motility specialist but the wait is 800 days. I basically can't eat because of gastroparesis (confirmed by tests), my BMI is 17.5 and dropping and I have severe agonizing pain but have to wait 800 days while people who don't have abnormal GI tests can see 2,3 + GIs and have multiple tests in such a short amount of time.
I am truly sorry. I wish I could help somehow. Yes, first tests were done pretty fast, but as you can see from my posts... to get myself on MRI is almost impossible, even if I want to pay in private, I need referral from a specialist, not from my primary care doctor.
I have an ileostomy so I am very aware of my output and let me reassure you that I get a rainbow of colours depending on what I eat.
I find it amazing hearing stories about how people are seeing their 3rd GI, have multiple tests as someone with 2 diagnosed GI diseases. I have only seen 1 GI and I'm waiting to see a motility specialist but the wait is 800 days. I basically can't eat because of gastroparesis (confirmed by tests), my BMI is 17.5 and dropping and I have severe agonizing pain but have to wait 800 days while people who don't have abnormal GI tests can see 2,3 + GIs and have multiple tests in such a short amount of time.
It is so wrong and it upsets me as well. People getting tests for reassurance while others are left waiting is so not fair. It is like they say "the squeaky wheel gets the most grease" and in today's world heaven help you if you try to be stoic and get through things.
I hope that your appointment comes through sooner than you expect.
worriedpatient
05-07-18, 20:20
Worried patient. How often do 23 year olds get pancreatic cancer? You have a one in a million chance. Literally. But you do seem to have pretty good insight - please don’t let this health anxiety disease take hold! Take steps to nip it in the bud. Good luck!
Thank you so much. I wrote down on the paper today reasons leading to having and to not having pancreatic cancer. Overwhelmingly FOR NOT HAVING. Back pain today calmed, there is some, but not presented all day. I do have some small abdo discomfort after eating. But that's pretty much all. This is the first day, when I do think that I do not have PC. I ate good, appetite was fine, did sport. I realized that my back pain always calms down before I fall asleep, and I always have a good not interrupted sleep. If my pain is due to something real physical... why would it go away suddenly before sleep or was not presented during my sleep? Right now, I do see it more like my mind is behind it.
Thank you so much. I wrote down on the paper today reasons leading to having and to not having pancreatic cancer. Overwhelmingly FOR NOT HAVING. Back pain today calmed, there is some, but not presented all day. I do have some small abdo discomfort after eating. But that's pretty much all. This is the first day, when I do think that I do not have PC. I ate good, appetite was fine, did sport. I realized that my back pain always calms down before I fall asleep, and I always have a good not interrupted sleep. If my pain is due to something real physical... why would it go away suddenly before sleep or was not presented during my sleep? Right now, I do see it more like my mind is behind it.
:yahoo::yahoo::yahoo:
Liver function tests I am told r normal but home blood sugar test is saying fasting blood sugar is in pre diabetes range. I have feared that if it's a panic cancer that it is knock8ng glucose function out ...so I guess I am back to doc again
A panic cancer is certainly what this is.
Sorry I meant pancreatic cancer
A panic cancer is certainly what this is.
Definitely!
Positive thoughts
A Freudian slip if ever there was one...
worriedpatient
08-07-18, 20:11
Snooper. What symptoms do you experience now?
About 2/3 of pancreatic cancers tumors are located in a head of pancreas. For a tumor in a head of pancreas typical symptoms are jaundice and elevated liver tests in your blood. We both are not experiencing jaundice and our liver tests were OK. So 66% of tumors we can rule out.
I do have now almost persistent mid/upper back pain and occasional heartburn, these symptoms are more associated with a tumor in a body or tail of pancreas. But I do not have unintentional weight loss, my appetite is good at the moment, my bowel movements are ok, and no nausea right now + a good ultrasound. Only 0,5% of patients is at my age, and in a body or tail of pancreas is "only" 33% of tumors. Everything is with us (for now). You have had better tests than me, and especially you have it for a longer time, Pancreatic cancer is known as fast progresing, when symptoms appear. Do not get me wrong, I am scared, yesterday I googled things for many hours... it just made me feel worse. It is up/down, but thanks to this forum, I probably know what is going on.
Snooper. What symptoms do you experience now?
By asking to describe symptoms and by describing yours, you're just feeding the dragon. I don't doubt you're experiencing symptoms but I'll bet my salary neither of you have cancer. By hanging onto this fear with your fingernails despite all factual medical evidence to the contrary is hallmark HA behavior.
Positive thoughts
By asking to describe symptoms and by describing yours, you're just feeding the dragon. I don't doubt you're experiencing symptoms but I'll bet my salary neither of you have cancer. By hanging onto this fear with your fingernails despite all factual medical evidence to the contrary is hallmark HA behavior.
Positive thoughts
Couldn't agree more.
Please think carefully before booking another GP appointment, Snooper? I think you have got to use some self-restraint here and stop doing these home tests which are a rip off anyway and nullify any good results you may get from tests ordered by your GP. But maybe you are looking for "bad" results anyway to prove your GP wrong?
A panic cancer is certainly what this is.
One of the betters slips I've seen :roflmao:
One of the betters slips I've seen :roflmao:
I have a feeling that one will stick around ;)
Positive thoughts
WiseMonkey
09-07-18, 08:43
Hi,
Second time I've posted this today but any shade of brown/beige (even yellow) is fine for stools. It all depends on what you eat and how quickly food travels through your digestive system. My Dr also told me that your urine would be orange or like cola.
If you eat orange vegetables ie pumpkin it can turn your stools more yellow. Stools that sink to the bottom of the toilet bowl are best however, if you eat a lot of fibre then floaters can happen.
Hahah!!! I’m having a panic cancer day today as well!
---------- Post added at 11:44 ---------- Previous post was at 11:43 ----------
And snooper a correct diagnosis: panic cancer IS what it is!
---------- Post added at 11:50 ---------- Previous post was at 11:44 ----------
And snooper - STOP THE HOME TESTING
I have stopped the home testing..............it wasnt some kind of kit .........rather an approved glucose monitor.
I have failed though the inclination to contact the gp....i speak to her tomorrow about the glucose levels
I really hope that she tells you to stop the home testing. She may make herself "unavailable" to speak to you in the future and you wouldn't want that.
I have stopped the home testing..............it wasnt some kind of kit .........rather an approved glucose monitor.
I have failed though the inclination to contact the gp....i speak to her tomorrow about the glucose levels
Has your gp actually asked you to monitor your own glucose?
No but i will ask her when i speak to her as it seems to be erratic and i never know whether to check or not
Well my guess is don’t do it! It clearly worries you and I suspect that if any of us tested frequently we would find it erratic...
I used to test my blood sugar for gestational diabetes. If you don’t know what you’re testing for or why, you should probably stop because you’re just scaring yourself silly for no reason other than feeding the anxiety.
I do feel for you and I’m not trying to be harsh, but you need to step back and have a look at what you’re doing to yourself.
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I don't want my comments to seem harsh but there are things you can do if you really want to limit the power of your HA such as stopping the home testing which is not necessary and of your own choice. You are choosing to do the monitoring-no GP has asked you to do this. Take the upper hand and stop if it's the only thing you can do at the moment?
---------- Post added at 17:25 ---------- Previous post was at 17:21 ----------
No but i will ask her when i speak to her as it seems to be erratic and i never know whether to check or not
Your GP knows you have HA. If she tells you to continue home monitoring she is enabling your HA to flourish. Personally I would not want to see a GP who didn't challenge my HA.
I checked with gp on liver function test results and specifically bilirubin and it is normal. The faecal elastase test has also come back normal....this is one of the tests that the consultant had instructed so i was surprised it was ok.
GP said their scale for fasting glucose is 3.8-6 and my reading of 6.7 was not very far out and she wasnt concerned by it. i specifically asked if she was sure there was not a need to re image the pancreas and she said definitely not.
"Told ya so Gang" on standby :winks:
I checked with gp on liver function test results and specifically bilirubin and it is normal. The faecal elastase test has also come back normal....this is one of the tests that the consultant had instructed so i was surprised it was ok.
GP said their scale for fasting glucose is 3.8-6 and my reading of 6.7 was not very far out and she wasnt concerned by it. i specifically asked if she was sure there was not a need to re image the pancreas and she said definitely not.
https://media.giphy.com/media/xUySTUP1QjGAHiTg76/giphy.gif
Positive thoughts
You don't have pancreatic cancer, Snooper. You are depressed and highly anxious but you don't have pancreatic cancer. Your symptoms are a psychological manifestation of your distress.
You don't have pancreatic cancer, Snooper. You are depressed and highly anxious but you don't have pancreatic cancer. Your symptoms are a psychological manifestation of your distress.
I second that.
I really hope you get some relief soon Snooper, as you must be so exhausted by all this. How is choir and your gym sessions going?
Yes i am exhausted by it all....very weary of going back and forward to gp. Choir is going fine i joined last week and have been to 3 so far. Gym not so well as the last time i went i was deep in the doldrums and hated it.
Yes i am exhausted by it all....very weary of going back and forward to gp. Choir is going fine i joined last week and have been to 3 so far. Gym not so well as the last time i went i was deep in the doldrums and hated it.
It’s wonderful that choir is going well! Are they nice people?
Also is your medication helping at all?
---------- Post added at 16:34 ---------- Previous post was at 16:23 ----------
Yes i am exhausted by it all....very weary of going back and forward to gp. Choir is going fine i joined last week and have been to 3 so far. Gym not so well as the last time i went i was deep in the doldrums and hated it.
It’s wonderful that choir is going well! Are they nice people?
Also is your medication helping at all?
They are nice people but I find it difficult to engage as my head is away worrying. Difficult to tell if meds are working as I don't know what effect they are expecting....certainly don't stop the worry or distress.
I hear you re that feeling of only being partly there, because of the worrying. Sometimes I feel so jealous of the people I see around me, who don’t seem to be tortured by worry. How do they do it?!
Do you ever feel worry free these days though, and if so when? I find being outside, with animals, very helpful. That’s probably just me... but there might be something that helps you too?
At the moment i dont seem to have worry free days. I have moments where i feel slightly more peaceful than normal ....yesterday that was when i was sat outside in the cool breeze at lunchtime. I have a pet, a cat, but he is not a sit on your lap cat . I used to get some comfort from him when he lay on my bed to sleep but its summer and he is out most of the time
I too wish I had worry free days. Today I am particularly worried and aware of all sorts of abdominal sensations.
Cats are a great distraction. Have you considered doing something like fostering for the Cats Protection? I know you work - and have your own cat -but I expect that wouldn’t matter. It would be a way of keeping you busy at home...?
What about st work? Do you have moments when you aren’t thinking about it there?
Alas my own cat would prevent fostering as he is very territorial and would fight with any cat that would come into my house. I have thought about volunteering at a cat rehoming centre but i think i could only be useful at weekends given that i work fulltime.
Sorry to hear that you are worrying about abdominal sensations...i know what that is like
Sorry to hear that you are worrying about abdominal sensations...i know what that is like
I know you do!!:winks:
Alas my own cat would prevent fostering as he is very territorial and would fight with any cat that would come into my house. I have thought about volunteering at a cat rehoming centre but i think i could only be useful at weekends given that i work fulltime.
Sorry to hear that you are worrying about abdominal sensations...i know what that is like
Volunteers are needed any day, what a nice thing to do..
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Try Cats Protection? They have local branches and always welcome volunteers with open arms, especially at weekends.
Been coughing today and head is saying that the pancreatic cancer has spread to lungs....i know how weird that sounds reading this but that is what I am thinking
But you don’t have pancreatic cancer. X
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My aunt found her bowel cancer because it had spread to her lungs and this preys on my mind when I get a cough
Oh wow Snooper.
Is this a rational thought?
Is this particular fear likely to be true?
I dont know if its rational or not.....i only know that pancreatic cancer often goes to the liver and lungs. i have decided that if i am still bothered by it in two weeks i will take my concerns to the doc.
Ok......:whistles:
So anyway back to the Cat’s Protection. How about volunteering at the weekends?:doh:
Having checked the cats protection website it seems they are not within the area i live in so i guess i will have to try a different kind of cat society closer to hand.
I dont know if its rational or not.....i only know.....
Without a doubt it's irrational because you do know...
I checked with gp on liver function test results and specifically bilirubin and it is normal. The faecal elastase test has also come back normal....this is one of the tests that the consultant had instructed so i was surprised it was ok.
GP said their scale for fasting glucose is 3.8-6 and my reading of 6.7 was not very far out and she wasnt concerned by it. i specifically asked if she was sure there was not a need to re image the pancreas and she said definitely not.
Positive thoughts
I know those results were normal and yet the panic is setting in. So the thoughts are irrational but that doesnt seem to stop the fear
I know those results were normal and yet the panic is setting in. So the thoughts are irrational but that doesnt seem to stop the fear
I do understand to a degree as my daughter is an anxiety sufferer. I've spent countless hours on the phone with her when she's in the midst of an attack and it's heartbreaking knowing nothing I say really helps except facts. I just keep telling her to focus on the facts and to use the tools from therapy until that the feelings pass.
I re-posted your "facts" because that is what you need to focus on when the "feelings" overwhelm you. In many ways, you're believing the sky is green when you have proof it's blue. Keep your focus on the proof! :winks:
Positive thoughts
The sensation in my chest currently overrides my results. All I can think about is the knowledge that pancreatic cancer goes to liver and lungs and my aunt was diagnosed from lung symptoms that turned out to be bowel cancer. My ct scan was 4.5 months ago and the sweating continues and now I have this sensation in my chest. The fear never ever subsides colouring all I do in life
i know what it is like to find bodily sensations unbearable. Right now I have a tickle in my throat and my first thought goes to lung cancer. As always - so believe me, I understand your thought patterns. But like Fishmanpa says, we have to keep our eyes on the facts, always focus on the facts. They are anchors in the storm.
So here is another fact for you.
FEAR is destroying your life at the moment.
Cancer is not destroying your life. Fear is destroying your life.
What do you think will make that fear subside? (I actually want an honest answer to this .... I want to know if you actually think further imaging would cure your fear...)
Yes I believe doing more imaging would either show there is a problem or not.
So you are prepared to expose your body to more radiation? What type of scan would give you 100% reassurance?
I think you have to ask yourself these questions, Snooper. At what point would you be prepared to draw the line on this?
Also Snooper, there don’t seem to be any grounds for further testing. Every test you’ve had has come back clear.
How about if you started to look at your symptoms as ones of anxiety instead and try to heal them?
Do you have any family at all? I know that you recently lost your Mum, was that this February or last year?
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WiseMonkey
14-07-18, 10:13
Yes I believe doing more imaging would either show there is a problem or not.
Well this would be a waste of time as you would not believe the result if it was negative (no problem found). A CT scan takes images (slices) of your organs so any malignancies (or benign issues) would be found.
You have to find a way of putting this to rest, either by deciding that a scan/imaging procedure is correct or by addressing your H/A. It's hard to get your H/A under control while you're in the grips of it.
The other members are correct, you need to look at the hard facts and not some infinitesimal glitch.
Yes I believe doing more imaging would either show there is a problem or not.
That is true. Imaging would show you do not have pancreatic cancer. But you haven’t answered my question.....
What effect would this have on your anxiety. Would it go away?? (Answer honestly!)
I understand this 100%
I have had Ultrasound, CT scan with contrast of abdomen and chest, Bilirubin blood tests, Liver function and Kidney test and a Endoscopy. I'm still convinced I have Jaundice and Pancreatic Cancer.
It's irrational to most but when you suffer the non stop symptoms plus crippling Health Anxiety you can't shake this without having every test under the sun it seems. Only other tests I could have are an Endoscopy Ultrasound and MRCP scan but I've run out of money and my GP will never allow me to have those on the NHS.
Google feeds the anxiety levels as we always Google can things be missed on CT scan and bloods ect then low and behold you are taken to a PC forum where members say those scans were normal for them ect so it again sends us into a meltdown.
Never Google I wish I didn't. I feel your pain
That is true. Imaging would show you do not have pancreatic cancer. But you haven’t answered my question.....
What effect would this have on your anxiety. Would it go away?? (Answer honestly!)
If the imaging was me I I would feel much relieved however at the moment gp won't 're image at all and all I can
N do is wait around with more things happening to me
---------- Post added at 18:11 ---------- Previous post was at 18:04 ----------
That should have said if the imaging was mri
---------- Post added at 18:13 ---------- Previous post was at 18:11 ----------
I understand this 100%
I have had Ultrasound, CT scan with contrast of abdomen and chest, Bilirubin blood tests, Liver function and Kidney test and a Endoscopy. I'm still convinced I have Jaundice and Pancreatic Cancer.
It's irrational to most but when you suffer the non stop symptoms plus crippling Health Anxiety you can't shake this without having every test under the sun it seems. Only other tests I could have are an Endoscopy Ultrasound and MRCP scan but I've run out of money and my GP will never allow me to have those on the NHS.
Google feeds the anxiety levels as we always Google can things be missed on CT scan and bloods ect then low and behold you are taken to a PC forum where members say those scans were normal for them ect so it again sends us into a meltdown.
Never Google I wish I didn't. I feel your pain
Like u I ran out of money and I can't get gp to do anymore. Going out of mind with fear as more things happen to me.
---------- Post added at 18:16 ---------- Previous post was at 18:13 ----------
So you are prepared to expose your body to more radiation? What type of scan would give you 100% reassurance?
I think you have to ask yourself these questions, Snooper. At what point would you be prepared to draw the line on this?
An mri would be perfect and yes I would expose myself to whatever it takes because the consequences of missing this type of cancer is horrendous.
---------- Post added at 19:09 ---------- Previous post was at 18:16 ----------
Also Snooper, there don’t seem to be any grounds for further testing. Every test you’ve had has come back clear.
How about if you started to look at your symptoms as ones of anxiety instead and try to heal them?
Do you have any family at all? I know that you recently lost your Mum, was that this February or last year?
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I lost my mum this year on Feb. I have one sister but she isn't keen on talking about my anxieties. I feel I would like to go back to the private consultant I saw before but gp is saying what would I go back to him about? The daily sweating freaks me out because of a colleague at work whose partner only got 8 weeks after diagnosis having gone hot and cold for months. The fluctuating glucose freaks me out. Now this gummy thing with my chest.....
How much weight have you lost since your symptoms started?
And how old are you?
I’m so sorry for the loss of your Mum, it’s still early days I’m your grieving process. My health anxiety was awful after my parents died. I went for CBT, about 4 months after my Dad died but I think it was a bit soon. Have you asked for help with grief?
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Bereavement is awful. Have you any idea how your Mum would advise you now, Snooper? I try to think what my late Dad would have said when I'm in distress. I just hate the idea of people steering clear of you when you most need support but there comes a point when frustration sets in.
How would life be for you if you weren't weighed down by health fears?
I agree with Pulisa. One of the cruel things about a mental health crisis is that frustration often does set in, and people do turn away when you need them most. I hope that is not happening to you in the real world, Snooper. I hope you feel loved.
So, will you forgive me continuing my line of questioning?
Imagine this scenario: you get an MRI. It shows a healthy pancreas. You feel enormous relief. What happens next in this story? Does Snooper find herself free from anxiety? Does Snoooer’s body stop torturing her with unexplained symptoms?
Of course you know where I’m going with this. You must have seen the health anxiety diagrams. You know how the cycle works!
How much weight have you lost since your symptoms started?
In last 18 months I lost 2.5 stone
I agree with Pulisa. One of the cruel things about a mental health crisis is that frustration often does set in, and people do turn away when you need them most. I hope that is not happening to you in the real world, Snooper. I hope you feel loved.
So, will you forgive me continuing my line of questioning?
Imagine this scenario: you get an MRI. It shows a healthy pancreas. You feel enormous relief. What happens next in this story? Does Snooper find herself free from anxiety? Does Snoooer’s body stop torturing her with unexplained symptoms?
Of course you know where I’m going with this. You must have seen the health anxiety diagrams. You know how the cycle works!
If I got all clear from mri I would be free from this anxiety
In last 18 months I lost 2.5 stone
If the pancreatic tumour was causing you to lose weight 18 months ago it would be odd for it not to show on a CT scan, no?
---------- Post added at 14:49 ---------- Previous post was at 14:47 ----------
If I got all clear from mri I would be free from this anxiety
I don’t usually say such forthright things but BULLS**T!!!!
I don’t think you would though, because what about the symptoms you are having, do you think they will just stop?
Honestly not ganging up on you, just trying to show you what it looks like from an outside perspective. I have a book somewhere that explains it really well, but I can’t find it!
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If I got all clear from mri I would be free from this anxiety
I agree with JoJo's statement. There was a former member that was convinced he had lymphoma. Through the years, (yes, years) he had seen at least a dozen or more doctors and had countless tests and scans. ALL NEGATIVE! He was still convinced. He poked and prodded himself to the point he had shotty nodes and was told as much. Still didn't believe the doctors and tests. Finally, he found a doctor that would do the invasive surgery needed to biopsy the nodes. Again... NORMAL! He still didn't believe them! Sadly, it's a common pattern.
The "what ifs" and "yeah buts" will persist unless you address the real problem.
Positive thoughts
Just spent another night with sweats and no longer think i can wait weeks to speak to gp. My colleagues partner had hot and cold sweats for months before he was diagnosed and he only survived 8 weeks beyond diagnosis. I am petrified that this is going to happen to me. The whole point of the illness i fear is that is not diagnosed until late.....and yet i cannnot get the gp to reimage the liver and pancreas.
I no longer know what to do. i will try again to speak to the gp and beg her to reimage because of the sweating....i cannot see what else is open to me.
---------- Post added at 11:28 ---------- Previous post was at 08:51 ----------
Eventually managed to get through to the surgery and i cannot speak to my gp u til 27th July. I asked if i could see another gp but was told earliest was 1 August! Feel so exposed now that i cannot see or speak to gp for a forthnight.
My heart goes out to you snooper. I am so sorry. You are desperate and no one will believe you. It must be terrifying.
I do think you need urgent psychiatric help because of the mental pain you are in. I know you are in the pipeline to see someone.... has that come through yet?
Keep talking to us on here if it helps.
Sweating is a key symptom of the menopause (which your dr says you are going through), anxiety and many types of medication. But most often night sweats are what they cause idiopathic- there is no medical cause for them.
But I don’t think pointing this out is any help to you, because your distress runs so so much deeper. I myself have had health anxiety for over 10 years, and I recognise and relate to both your fears and patterns of thought. This forum is full of people who think - and fear - like us. BUT i have not yet come across anyone on here who is more resistant to acknowledging their own psychological state. I think that makes you even more urgently in need of help. I do hope your doctor recognises this.
HI JoJo
I am not sure what you mean exactly by someone who doesnt recognise their psychological state. I fully admit i have health anxiety and recgonise that my mothers death is a major event which takes a long time to recover from. Beyond that i dont know what it is that u say i am not acknowledging?
HI JoJo
I am not sure what you mean exactly by someone who doesnt recognise their psychological state. I fully admit i have health anxiety and recgonise that my mothers death is a major event which takes a long time to recover from. Beyond that i dont know what it is that u say i am not acknowledging?
You seem to genuinely believe that pancreatic cancer is a likely cause for your symptoms. And you seem to not acknowledge the irrationality of that.
I’m not claiming it is IMPOSSIBLE you have pancreatic cancer, but that it is vanishingly UNLIKELY.
But you have said in the past you believe there is a 99% likelihood of pancreatic cancer.
I would argue that belief is a product of your mental disorder. It is patently irrational, given the huge body of evidence to the contrary.
But I suspect you would argue it IS rational, given your symptoms.
And that, I would say, is why you are not acknowledging the situation.
You do not accept you are being irrational.
Snoopy how old are you?
I am 31 so my doctor tells me it is highly unlikely so I think that is why I can't get anywhere further with my symptoms. Because the CT and bloods have shown nothing then they see nothing so will not order further tests (even although I paid for the tests I did have myself).
It's a distressing and frightening time when you have diagnosed yourself with a terminal illness, not many without crippling health anxiety will be able to relate to it unfortunately. My wife thinks I am nuts and my mother thinks I need mental health intervention and I can 110% see their point but it doesn't take away my physical symptoms or dread that my illness is going unnoticed.
You are from the UK so the system will be hampering you like me.
HI
I am 54 years old so prime ago for what i fear. LIke you say because the bloods and CT showed nothing they are not at all keen to do any more searching which is exactly why this thing is diagnosed too late. I am tryinng hard to contain my panic given that i have to wait for 10 days to speak to my gp. I have a horrible feeling that speaking to her though is not going to makeany difference.
I have a meeting with a psychiatrist tomorrow but the last meeting didnt achieve a lot so not holding out much hope. I hope you are fairing better than i am.
utrocket09
16-07-18, 16:56
I have been resding the entire thread. I have to agree with what others post. How much searching are you going to do before enough is enough. Eventually the doctors are going to catch onto your behavior. CT scans would have picked up something. As someone whose family member actually has cancer, something would have been seen. If you actually had cancer, you surely would have had more symptoms by now.
If you actually had cancer, you surely would have had more symptoms by now.
Exactly!
Cancer is an uncontrolled growth of abnormal cells. It doesn't come and go nor does it stop once it starts.
The symptoms started 18 months ago. That alone should quell this as you wouldn't be with us. Add to that professional medical opinions backed by scientific medical tests that are negative and there you go. Sorry you're in such a deep rabbit hole. I hope you can find a way out.
Positive thoughts
Still panicking about the sensations in the chest. I have a weeks holiday at home next week but instead of relishing the time i am dreading it....its a whole lot of time to fill with worry while trying to get on in the house with stuff. Oh how i wish i just knew what the diagnosis is...................
AMomentofClarity
20-07-18, 15:53
You’ve been worried about this for 2 full months. Knowing what you’ve read about pancreatic cancer, do you think you’d still be alive/functioning if you had it?!?!
Of course I don’t reasonably expect a rational answer, but figured I’d take a shot.
What are your chest sensations?
Do you still have abdominal sensations?
Oh how i wish i just knew what the diagnosis is...................
I checked with gp on liver function test results and specifically bilirubin and it is normal. The faecal elastase test has also come back normal....this is one of the tests that the consultant had instructed so i was surprised it was ok.
GP said their scale for fasting glucose is 3.8-6 and my reading of 6.7 was not very far out and she wasnt concerned by it. i specifically asked if she was sure there was not a need to re image the pancreas and she said definitely not.
Physical symptoms caused by anxiety IMO. Hope you feel better soon.
Positive thoughts
You’ve been worried about this for 2 full months. Knowing what you’ve read about pancreatic cancer, do you think you’d still be alive/functioning if you had it?!?!
Of course I don’t reasonably expect a rational answer, but figured I’d take a shot.I suppose it would have gotten worse in that time. Instead new things keep cropping up
---------- Post added at 16:43 ---------- Previous post was at 16:39 ----------
What are your chest sensations?
Do you still have abdominal sensations?
The abdominal sensations are less. The chest sensation is on breathing where when I breathe in it suddenly goes flat then makes me cough but not all the time. Been doing this for almost 3 weeks now and really concerning me
I suppose it would have gotten worse in that time. Instead new things keep cropping up
---------- Post added at 16:43 ---------- Previous post was at 16:39 ----------
The abdominal sensations are less. The chest sensation is on breathing where when I breathe in it suddenly goes flat then makes me cough but not all the time. Been doing this for almost 3 weeks now and really concerning me
It is not pancreatic cancer
Your GP is distancing herself from you, you say your best friend hasn't returned your call and your sister won't talk about your health...
Can you just consider the fact that you may not have PC? You have a week off work to ruminate and worry yourself over symptoms which have been assessed many times. Maybe it's the time to contact your friend again and not talk about symptoms at all?
Your GP is distancing herself from you, you say your best friend hasn't returned your call and your sister won't talk about your health...
Can you just consider the fact that you may not have PC? You have a week off work to ruminate and worry yourself over symptoms which have been assessed many times. Maybe it's the time to contact your friend again and not talk about symptoms at all?
My friend has made it clear he wants distance for a few weeks to sort himself out. I have considered the possibility I don't have pancreatic cancer but that thought doesn't last. I have gp telephone appt tomorrow and need to tell her about the breathing thing and the on going sweating. It's 5 months since the back pains and pale yellow stool yet I am still no further forward in knowing what is wrong
How did your meeting with the psychiatrist go?
Meeting went okay. She is referring me back into the teams services but that could take 5 months. In the meantime she gave the name of a local organisation that is a bit of a stop gap until the team services can kick in. They havent abandoned me now that they see that i am willing to accept that their is something going on mentally with me.
---------- Post added at 11:26 ---------- Previous post was at 10:33 ----------
Today i am getting stabbing pains to the right of my sternum and its really freaking me out. This is not the first time but it does it for a few seconds then dies down. A while later it comes back. Am really freaking out and of course that is going to mean another gp appointment . Last one i reported the chest issue and she has said that if the cough goes on for another week then she would have me in to listen to the chest and may x ray it.
Oh i wish she would x ray it cos at least that would eliminate or otherwise if anything has gone to the chest. No doubt its going to take a couple of weeks to see the gp.
Meeting went okay. She is referring me back into the teams services but that could take 5 months. In the meantime she gave the name of a local organisation that is a bit of a stop gap until the team services can kick in. They havent abandoned me now that they see that i am willing to accept that their is something going on mentally with me.[COLOR="
:yahoo:
I hear you re the stabbing pains. I got some yesterday in my upper left abdomen which spread to my back. Lasted about 3 seconds. Freaked me out rather, but might’ve been gas related? (I had just eaten loads of lentils then gone for a run!!)
---------- Post added at 13:31 ---------- Previous post was at 13:20 ----------
I do wish the psych services would do more for you though...
Do you have a crisis number to call?
No there is no crisis number although i guess there is always the Samaritans.
worriedpatient
30-07-18, 19:11
Finally, I do have scheduled MRI on next Monday. The only presented symptom that is persistent for now is mid / upper back pain. Wish me good luck guys.
Finally, I do have scheduled MRI on next Monday. The only presented symptom that is persistent for now is mid / upper back pain. Wish me good luck guys.
Good luck! Not that you need it..... I’ll eat my head if you have pancreatic cancer!
Finally, I do have scheduled MRI on next Monday. The only presented symptom that is persistent for now is mid / upper back pain. Wish me good luck guys.
Good luck. Mri is probably even better than ct .
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