Lottie32
31-10-04, 16:31
I thought that I would just share this with you. As you know I am feeling totally 500% better than I was just over a year ago when I joined this website in desperation.
I've posted a success story, and I've had some great replies. However, I'd just like to share the fact that it isn't actually that easy, and although i'm better, i have to work at being better!
As you may have gathered TGTBT is a bit of a Sport Billy, and at one point I used to be very similar in my outlook and interests. However, years of anxiety, panic and IBS made it difficult for me to do even simple things, like go for a bike ride (even if as I now recognise, most of it was in my head).
The other week we went on an eight mile round tour of Carsington Water, the first time I'd ridden a bike in a million years, or been and done any sort of outside adventure where I was away from civilisation (car to escape, toilet, shop etc etc).
I persevered, and had a great time.
Yesterday we had arranged another ride out. TGTBT arrived at two, and after 45 minutes sorting out the bike I was supposed to be borrowing, we set off.
I'd had a bad tum/head day that morning, and was paranoid that I'd be "ill". Not for any reason, but just because I always used to think that I would. Basically I had learnt that doing something like that would result in "illness" and I "couldn't do it".
Although I so much better, yesterday I had to really work hard. I compromised, and made sure that we "zig zagged" round our house, so that at any point if I wanted to I could go home, even if TGTBT wanted to carry on for the exercise.
Well this morning, I wish I had been "ill" and not perfectly ok, and enjoying myself, as the "lets just go a bit further" route I had mentally mapped out turned out to be a 18.9 mile round trip!
I can't walk, but I'm well chuffed I persevered.
(I did have to cheat - I used my Rescue Remedy, which is a bit of a bad thing, cos I've not used it in so long, I had to spend ten minutes finding it!!!!!!)
Basically, what I am trying to say is that a lot of my "ill" is in my head. I HAVE on occassion been ill, but I now expect it to happen. Therefore, unless I work hard it does. Having good friends like TGTBT can make all the difference. I can chill out totally with him, and forget about being on edge.
Anyway, we went to the book shop this morning, and we've bought a couple of maps and another mountain biking around the Peak District book. So I shall have to do it all over again soon!!!!
Which I'm looking forward to.
Hope everybody is doing well
Lots of love, (and keep battling throught the bad days - it does in general get easier).
Charlie xxxx
Charlie
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
I've posted a success story, and I've had some great replies. However, I'd just like to share the fact that it isn't actually that easy, and although i'm better, i have to work at being better!
As you may have gathered TGTBT is a bit of a Sport Billy, and at one point I used to be very similar in my outlook and interests. However, years of anxiety, panic and IBS made it difficult for me to do even simple things, like go for a bike ride (even if as I now recognise, most of it was in my head).
The other week we went on an eight mile round tour of Carsington Water, the first time I'd ridden a bike in a million years, or been and done any sort of outside adventure where I was away from civilisation (car to escape, toilet, shop etc etc).
I persevered, and had a great time.
Yesterday we had arranged another ride out. TGTBT arrived at two, and after 45 minutes sorting out the bike I was supposed to be borrowing, we set off.
I'd had a bad tum/head day that morning, and was paranoid that I'd be "ill". Not for any reason, but just because I always used to think that I would. Basically I had learnt that doing something like that would result in "illness" and I "couldn't do it".
Although I so much better, yesterday I had to really work hard. I compromised, and made sure that we "zig zagged" round our house, so that at any point if I wanted to I could go home, even if TGTBT wanted to carry on for the exercise.
Well this morning, I wish I had been "ill" and not perfectly ok, and enjoying myself, as the "lets just go a bit further" route I had mentally mapped out turned out to be a 18.9 mile round trip!
I can't walk, but I'm well chuffed I persevered.
(I did have to cheat - I used my Rescue Remedy, which is a bit of a bad thing, cos I've not used it in so long, I had to spend ten minutes finding it!!!!!!)
Basically, what I am trying to say is that a lot of my "ill" is in my head. I HAVE on occassion been ill, but I now expect it to happen. Therefore, unless I work hard it does. Having good friends like TGTBT can make all the difference. I can chill out totally with him, and forget about being on edge.
Anyway, we went to the book shop this morning, and we've bought a couple of maps and another mountain biking around the Peak District book. So I shall have to do it all over again soon!!!!
Which I'm looking forward to.
Hope everybody is doing well
Lots of love, (and keep battling throught the bad days - it does in general get easier).
Charlie xxxx
Charlie
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.