Starker
30-08-16, 02:25
I've started having obvious panic attacks about 6 months ago. They usually started with me feeling distinct heart palpitation and then I would have very high blood pressure (more than 180/100) and extreme dizziness that would last for 2 hours if not more without any breaks or subsidizing. I would also experience nausea, pain in joints, uncontrolled & very obvious jerking of legs and sweating randomly during the panic attacks, but not all at the same time. However, I did not have that problem with imagining that I am "out of air" and could actually breathe just fine. The panic attacks ocurred once or twice per week and they would usually ruin my entire day. When I started having panic attacks, some people close to me started coming up with some pretty outrageous explanations for that and even accused me of being a secret alcoholic and drug addict, which made me feel even worse. But then a physician diagnosed me with panic attacks caused by stress and a difficult life, and those people realized they were wrong and got nicer to me. for the next few months, I continued having panic attacks but their frequency decreased and they became a bit lighter. However, I kind of noticed lately that in addition to panic attacks I also very likely have generalized anxiety disorder, as there are times when I feel subtle but present anxiety for many hours. Also, I may be just imagining this, but it is also possible that I got a lighter case of depression in the last couple of weeks, but I'm probably just imagining that part.
The problem is, it is difficult for me to cope with all this as my life is quite difficult. I was born in a poor 3rd world country which got into a war when I was a todler. And right now I have so many things to worry about, like education, finance, job, family. Also, I occasionally live with my mother and my sibling, but they have a very poor understanding of psyichiatry and medicine, and are not even aware that things like panic attacks and anxiety disorders and subconciousness exist, and they also have a very bad habit of always doubting anything that I say which has to do with science or health, so telling them what my problems are seems almost impossible.
I know that I am not going to die from panic attacks, but the situation I'm in just seems so difficult to me. I kind of feel like the protagonist from Franz Kafka's Metamorphosis, if anyone read that story.
The problem is, it is difficult for me to cope with all this as my life is quite difficult. I was born in a poor 3rd world country which got into a war when I was a todler. And right now I have so many things to worry about, like education, finance, job, family. Also, I occasionally live with my mother and my sibling, but they have a very poor understanding of psyichiatry and medicine, and are not even aware that things like panic attacks and anxiety disorders and subconciousness exist, and they also have a very bad habit of always doubting anything that I say which has to do with science or health, so telling them what my problems are seems almost impossible.
I know that I am not going to die from panic attacks, but the situation I'm in just seems so difficult to me. I kind of feel like the protagonist from Franz Kafka's Metamorphosis, if anyone read that story.