Coincidence or symptoms of your worst fear??

[Westielove]

Hi all

So I feel like I am sounding like a broken record here but my anxiety riddled head just will not let me accept and relax!

About 5 months ago I faced my 4 year long phobia of HIV and I went for the test (4 years post exposure). The test came back negative. I was temporarily relieved but now my HA has come back with avengence and here's why.

I have been discovering things over the last few months that, with cruel coincidence, happen to be symptoms of HIV. So despite the negative results in black and white, my mind is still being tortured with this fear.

In the last 6 months I have discovered swollen lymph nodes in my armpits - I went to the gynae and an ultrasound and they concluded that it is silicone that has gotten into my lymph nodes from my previous breast implants which had ruptured. So makes sense but at the time of the rupture I was told it was intracapsular.

I have had some dry skin on my forehead and itchy scalp for the last year which never I never thought much of until I recently read about sebhorric dermatitis. Yes ok it is a common skin condition which can be brought on by stress etc but also, I read, with HIV!!

Now the latest thing is I think I may have a yeast infection as I have had some itching down below the last couple of days and as I have never had one before, I read what I should do, and it said it is common in people with HIV!! 😩

I have also been getting cramps quite frequently in my toes when I put them in certain positions or maybe after exercise. And that is also a symptom!!

I want to accept my results and use them as proof I can live without fear of this but all these coincidental things keep happening to me!!

I guess my mind keeps doubting the test and wondering whether there is a chance it could be wrong or not accurate.

Can someone please tell me if HIV tests can ever be wrong? My exposure was extremely low risk and was over 4 years ago. I got the year finally this year after years of me tottering myself. But now I feel like everything I am getting is pointing towards it and so I am doubting the results 😢😓

Please help xx

[Hopefulmi]

I don't know if it would help but you could get another free confidential test at a local GUM clinic.

However, HA symptoms do tend to mimic worst fears. I'm sure you don't have it and hope you feel better soon xx

[Haylee.a]

I'm exactly like this! I'll have this checked/blood tests the lot and I temporarily get over it! But then things happen and I start obsessing and think the doctors have it wrong!!!! Awful awful feeling! I don't know how to take this problem away because I'm still
Convinced I've got something myself wether it's a disease or a cancerous mole that I've akreDy had checked!!!! Scary feeling ay

[Westielove]

I know I could get another test but the first one was so traumatic for me because of my phobia, that even with tranquillisers I was still a wreck.

I just want to know whether there is any reason to doubt the test results or not?? Does anyone know??

Haylee, I'm sorry you suffer with this also, it is horrible. Why can't we just accept it and move on? Do you think the symptoms are just coincidental?

Xx

[Fishmanpa]

I just want to know whether there is any reason to doubt the test results or not?? Does anyone know??

Take this test :)

What was the result of the first test? _______________

What does that mean? ________________

Positive thoughts

[Westielove]

Take this test :)

What was the result of the first test? _______________

What does that mean? ________________

Positive thoughts

Hi Fishmanpa

I know I know :blush: Do you think there is any way the test results could be wrong? Because that slight little doubt is what is allowing my anxiety to creep in and take over.

There's no way they could have mixed up results right?

Sorry for sounding like a crazy person and I'm sure it must be so annoying for those of you who have read my previous posts.

Xx

[Fishmanpa]

Hi Fishmanpa

I know I know :blush: Do you think there is any way the test results could be wrong? Because that slight little doubt is what is allowing my anxiety to creep in and take over.

There's no way they could have mixed up results right?

Sorry for sounding like a crazy person and I'm sure it must be so annoying for those of you who have read my previous posts.

Xx

I won't reassure you because we all know it doesn't work. Ask yourself those questions and answer them with all the reasons why you don't have it. Take this opportunity to reassure yourself and kick the dragon in the ass! ;)

Positive thoughts

[uru]

test results could be wrong. They are only wrong in the false positive sense usually. That is, someone who is told they have HIV but doesn't. False negatives are almost impossible.

[Westielove]

test results could be wrong. They are only wrong in the false positive sense usually. That is, someone who is told they have HIV but doesn't. False negatives are almost impossible.

My gosh! I nearly had a heart attack when I started to read your message..and then I read the rest of it..phew!

I know that there is uncertainty when you have just been exposed (you need to get a follow up one to make sure)..but my test was 4 years after the possible exposure, so I guess there's no way it could be inconclusive right? Plus they stated on the results 'definitive after 45 days'.

I guess what I want to know is if you were me, ie getting these coincidental symptoms..would you ignore the fact that they can be HIV related and trust your results, or would you start worrying/freaking out like me? Xx