Not sure how much more i can cope with

[DonnaT]

Hi everyone,
SORRY LONG POST
I'm in a pretty bad way at the minute, well its been longer than a minute. I have suffered with HA for ten years. the last year it has been so bad, the worst year ive ever had. I cant seem to improve it or get out of this nasty slump, I have usually been able to battle my way through but its all getting to much. At this moment in time I have three separate HA worries. Ive never had more than one at a time before. I will accidently come across an article in the paper or facebook or it will be on the TV then think i have the problem, jus because ive read the article. :mad:
I have a beautiful family and I'm so lucky. I have some brilliant things to look forward to in the future but I'm a complete and utter mess :weep: I'm not sure how much more fighting I can do. I feel so low and frightened. From the second I wake up to the second I go to sleep all I feel is complete panic and stressed. I cant remember the last time I felt and amount of normality. Ive just had a hot flash out of know where and all I can think that is that something ive been worrying about. I cant talk to my husband about it any more because he told me he's under to much stress. and I add to it, which I understand, I don't live in a place where mental health is a huge problem or is not talked about. I have insurance to cove some appointments but it doesn't cover CBT. I cant take tablets at the moment either. I want to be happy and enjoy life

[daisyflower]

I think when it comes down to knowing you really don't have anything wrong but that your anxiety is out of control, it's time to make some changes. I always think of it as like a bathroom leak that's coming through the ceiling. The wetness dripping through the ceiling downstairs is like all your health worries but the root of the problem, the anxiety, is the leaking bath. As health anxiety sufferers, we spend all our time trying to paint over the leak downstairs rather than just hiring a plumber to fix the bath.
Have you tried to work out what is fueling your anxiety? Do you have too much time to think and worry. Are you swamped under at work or home or depressed? Are you in an unhappy relationship? Have you tried really occupying your mind by going the gym and reading none health things any chance you get? Even so much as watching a good series on tv in the times you have spare can help occupy your mind.
Health anxiety is fed through your thoughts...if you manage to control your thoughts through thinking happy thoughts, you've fixed your leaking bath, so to speak. This is the challenge we all face and you're not alone x