Fearful of cancer, terminal illness

[Holds1325]

Hi all

new here,

Recently been dealing with some severe anxiety, and not sure if it manifested into physical symptoms or not.

i deal with GAD OCD very often but not horribly bad, just to the point where its really annoying,

Okay so ive been having health problems that started about a week and a half ago. Ive been suffering the mental health aspect for about 3 months now. Anyway, i think i might have gotten sick. I cannot eat anything without wanting to vomit it all out and whenever i do eat it the nausea and fatigue last hours then finally let up, its gotten to the point where i am really scared to eat. Ive also lost alot of weight in the past 3 months as well.

Been to the doc about 5-6 times in the last month and each time up until this last visit everything was fine, with some basic abnormalities, slightly elevated phosphorus, low vitamin d, etc. nothing too serious and it corrected itself the next blood test

So this last visit, i noticed my white blood cell count is elevated, doc said i do probably have some type of infection, maybe flu or something thats been going around.

Im 28 years old and im severely scared of terminal illness. Just had a relative pass away and im scared that im going to end up like that, although the relative was pretty old.

I have an ultrasound in the morning to check things out, doc wants to make sure i dont have any issues with any organs and what not.

Im really scared of anything ranging from stomach cancer to lymphoma and i cant get this out of my brain. i heard its more likely to win the lottery then get stomach cancer esp since no one in my family has ever had it, but still, sick over a week? can barely eat anything when i do i get severely nauseated. Ive also been dealing with acid reflux for about 4 years due to chronic alcohol use. I just feel so tired lately,

Any thoughts?

thank you

[somdayillbeok]

Just hold on tight, I've been feeling the exact same way, and its nerve racking! From what I've read it seems like your risks are low. It'll be okay, relax and try to keep your self occupied.

[Boakie26]

Me too I'm 37 female who lost someone to cancer and it breaks my heart to think I'm going to die from a brain tumour and not seen my kids grow up

[hopeful927]

I worry about this stuff all the time. One strategy I have is to take a deep breath and say to myself that in this moment, I am fine. Really try to focus on this exact moment in time, and say to yourself that you are breathing, living, and totally fine right now. Try not to let your mind wander ahead. It is a sort of meditation I do. I also practice cognitive behavioral strategies that I was taught by my counsellor. If you haven't done this you need to. It is a godsend. It is as effective as any medication I have tried.

[Holds1325]

Ultrasound came back fine,

Doctors still don't know whats wrong, they think I might have an ulcer, but I have no abdominal pain.

My nausea has subsided somewhat although it shows up when I wake in the morning, probably anxiety related because then it subsides after I get into work.

I have an appointment tomorrow to discuss referral to a gastro doctor. I am still very worried that I have stomach cancer or some other type of disease like gastroparensis, the type where your stomach doesn't empty like it should.

Anyone experience anything similar to my symptoms?

[rossvic]

Hi Hold1325:

We are in the same boat, I suffer from Health Anxiety and Also I'm very afraid of having a terminal illness or cancer. I'm divorce and two young children and My biggest fear is leave them without a Mommy. In my case, I do have pressure in my stomach and under my ribs and always get nausea when I get up in the morning and I Have very soft stools. My doctor though was gallbladder stones but I also had a sonogram and everything was normal. I also, had lost a some weight but I think more because my anxiety that decrease my appetite. I'm also going back to Doctor on Monday crossing my finger that he can figure out what is going on. I also go to therapy to try to help me with my anxiety, also relaxing music and breathing exercises most of the time helps.

Good Luck

[Holds1325]

Have you gone through an endoscopy yet? This is what is next for me possibly. I go back tomorrow actually to discuss this.

I get full quick, I'll eat a bowl of cereal and had a half apple, felt like i ate a ton more than that.

Nausea has sort of gone away though. Not sure what we are dealing with here.

[rossvic]

Not yet, I also get full very quickly when I eat too. I will see what the Dr recommend when I go on Monday. :weep:

[Hayley93]

Hey. My names Hayley I'm 22 years old.
I'm so glad to see I'm not alone. For the last 5 years I've been literally petrified of dying. If I have even a slight illness i.e I've just recently had a uti and I was convinced that I had bladder cancer. Its really taking over my life, I hate it. I lost my mum Dec 2010 granddad march 2011 and nan may 2011 and if that wasn't enough I lost my dad April 2013, each time I loose someone the thoughts get stronger :( I have a four year old son he is my world and my anxiety is now leading to his direction. I have too count 8 breaths of his whilst his asleep and check his stair gate 4 times else I lie in bed and won't sleep at all thinking something bad is going to happen to him. Does anybody else have anxiety this bad? ( if it even is anxiety?) Thank you

[rossvic]

hi Hayley:

First, you are note alone, I feel you, I m like you but right now I'm going thru treatment with medication and is helping but slowly. Mine is very bad too, anything that hurts in my body or something strange I think there something very bad. Since, just started with this new medication and its take time to work, I also take Ativan that is a benzo that when I feel my anxiety is super high I take one in the morning and one in the afternoon and help me relax. Can you go to the Doctor to get help?:hugs:

[Hayley93]

Thank you for replying :)
I really wish I could pluck up the courage to speak to someone face to face. I went once in 2011 and they asked if I wanted to speak to a bereavement councillor but again I don't think iI can face breaking down in front of somebody.

[Holds1325]

I'm trying my best not to let it get to me, all the thoughts of being sick. If I focus on all the things that are okay right now at this moment, being mindful, it helps some.

I got sick after eating lunch today, nausea, I thought it left but it showed up again. Also my headaches came back. I'm thinking it probably is stress because I'm now back at work after 4 days off. During those 4 days off the nausea and headaches left me alone, now that I'm back at work, they are here again.

I got that dr appointment tomorrow. This whole time I'm wondering if it is all just in my head.

Health anxiety is typical of OCD sufferers and I am indeed OCD, not crippling but horrible none the less.

I'm curious do any of you deal with OCD at all?

[WiganLad]

Hi holds I am in same boat as you I am 27 I do suffer with ha for me is bowel Evan though I have IBS what's causing things but you got to think that at 28 its rarer than rocking horse poo for anything to be cancer or serious 99.9% is in our heads and it can do crazy things to our body's my ha has subsided due to me thinking bout what the odds are in having something serious at 27 and its highly improbable its like predicting who's gonna win a horse race the number is astronomical so don't worry your fine :)

[Holds1325]

Thanks for your reply,

I have an appointment today to discuss the endoscopy, I'm scared of doing it. I kept waking up throughout the night wondering what the outcome will be.

I always wake up severely bloated, stomach really tight and then the nausea begins.

Im just hoping if we do the endoscopy, that it wont be a really long wait.

[Limey]

Hi there. I'm 26, female, and I have the exact same fear. I'm terrified of the big C, and think every ache, pain, lump or bump is terminal. I've he'd this fear for over 10 years, and it still catches me.

[Lifelonganxiety!]

I'm 36 and had the same thoughts for 17 years now. Diagnosed myself with pretty much everything along the way. The only diagnosis I struggled with was that I have Health Anxiety.

Most people on these boards have the same symptoms and fears as you. The fact that after 17 years of this I'm still going strong does provide me some comfort. Just think of all the things you thought were going to kill you, that ended up just going away.

[Holds1325]

Doctor said endoscopy wasn't necessary at this point in time. He is convinced that its possibly an ulcer, but since I have no pain and my only symptoms are nausea and bloating that its difficult to tell.

I had a blood test for h pylori so they started me on antibiotics for 2 weeks to see if this clears up. In the meantime I guess I'm just waiting on that and then I go back in to perhaps discuss where I am with these problems I'm having.

Everything else came back clear, bloodwork, urinalysis, ultrasound, xray but my mind is still not convinced! Neither is my body I guess because I still feel really nauseated especially after eating.

Perhaps I should go back and beg for the endoscopy, but eh probably won't happen because I'm on the antibiotics and the doctor basically said, we are just waiting to see if this clears up your symptoms, and that was that