Help controlling anxiety in social situations

[damianjmcgrath]

As I've mentioned on here before, I get chest pains daily, often changing between a heavy indigestion feeling or sharp stabbing muscle type pains, to tight aches, to a feeling that someone is sitting on my chest. It's extremely difficult to ignore, and my focus is always on it.

I find it helps to relax at home, lie in my sofa, watch some TV I find fun, be by myself, listen to podcasts etc. I then normally then calm myself down, and although the pains don't ever go completely, I can normally stop my reactions to them, i.e., fast heart beats, the feeling of fear etc.

However I really struggle to calm myself down when I'm in a situation that I can't escape from, such as a social one like a party, or when people are over my house, or if I'm at a football event. Oddly, it doesn't happen at work, but sometimes, I'm in a situation that I can't leave. Looking after my young daughter on my own has the same reaction as well sometimes.

Does anyone have any tips for how to calm down and control the anxiety when you can't do your normal relaxing activities?

[sial72]

Hi Damian
It is not so much the situation but rather how we think about and during the situation.
I don't know if I can explain this properly.
Because you are expecting to feel anxious in those situations, you do.
This used to happen to me a lot, I would get panicky in certain situations and leave or not even do things just in case, all this reinforces our beliefs that we need to get out if those situations.
What we should be doing is getting on.with the situations we are afraid of and if we panic, let it subside and don't leave. Easier said than done, but truly effective in the ling term when done properly xx

[damianjmcgrath]

Absolutely agree with you. I know it's anxiety, I know I feel worse during social situations for a reason. The problem I have is that when I feel bad for any reason, it affects me, and really hurts, and affects my mood, and I withdraw into myself. I've really tried ignoring it, but that's my biggest struggle.

I just wondered if anyone had tried subtle breathing techniques, or went through a stage of going to social events for 1 hr, then 2, then 3, etc.

[sial72]

There is a technique called "tapping" that seems quite silly but is actually very effective.
You practice this at home and then when you are in a social situation you can just go off to the toilet a moment to do it and it is very calming.
If you go to Youtube and write "tapping" there are loads of tutorials x

[Dogloverlyn]

Tapping I find does help, but when I feel trapped and cannot leave the place or situation, I talk (usually about rubbish) even if its to the dog, or sing in my head, phone someone, anything that keeps my mind busy and away from those dreadful feelings.