Iamnervous
08-05-15, 07:12
Okay, so I have had quite a year! Last October I began have muscle spasms in my neck and head and they lasted for months I could barely keep my job because I couldn't focus. I am normally fast as lightening at work (good part of anxiety) but I just wanted to sleep on my desk and not feel like my skull was being crushed. I had what seemed like a swollen lymph node on the left side of my neck. Sometimes I felt something like it behind my left ear.
(TMI ahead) 2 weeks ago I got a 102 fever, my tonsils went crazy, the lymph node in my neck was throbbing and my left breast really hurt. I started taking antibiotics and the muscle spasm in my head and neck went away! Finally! No idea why. However I began having red blood on my stool and toilet paper. As someone with HA on top of everything else this was not fun. My doctor said if it persists to let him know. I did because it has been a couple weeks. I read online to take a mirror and examine for bumps. Sure enough there was a pea sized lump under the skin on my perineum and maybe one in the anus I can't tell? Oh and sometimes I have chest pain they've chalked up to anxiety.
There are literally so many things to worry about I haven't gone into my normal spiral of tears and contemplating death and not wanting to die I just took and Xanax and decided this was too scary to process.
So, do I have lymphoma, a neck tumor, aneurysm, inflammatory breast cancer, Rectal cancer, mysterious heart problems, or just all of them?
I have been feeling like crap and fatigued but like...that could be me dying or just me stressing myself out past the point of what I can handle.
Oh, and I have a day job, auditions my agent send me on, and work I do in a recording studio. I am very carefully not self sabotaging in all areas due to fear of illness. Very carefully...
HELP. :ohmy:
(TMI ahead) 2 weeks ago I got a 102 fever, my tonsils went crazy, the lymph node in my neck was throbbing and my left breast really hurt. I started taking antibiotics and the muscle spasm in my head and neck went away! Finally! No idea why. However I began having red blood on my stool and toilet paper. As someone with HA on top of everything else this was not fun. My doctor said if it persists to let him know. I did because it has been a couple weeks. I read online to take a mirror and examine for bumps. Sure enough there was a pea sized lump under the skin on my perineum and maybe one in the anus I can't tell? Oh and sometimes I have chest pain they've chalked up to anxiety.
There are literally so many things to worry about I haven't gone into my normal spiral of tears and contemplating death and not wanting to die I just took and Xanax and decided this was too scary to process.
So, do I have lymphoma, a neck tumor, aneurysm, inflammatory breast cancer, Rectal cancer, mysterious heart problems, or just all of them?
I have been feeling like crap and fatigued but like...that could be me dying or just me stressing myself out past the point of what I can handle.
Oh, and I have a day job, auditions my agent send me on, and work I do in a recording studio. I am very carefully not self sabotaging in all areas due to fear of illness. Very carefully...
HELP. :ohmy: