little.miss.worry
19-02-15, 13:29
Health anxiety is literally ruining my life to the point where I'm scared of everything now. I don't know how to cope with it any more. I'm starting counselling again next Tuesday which is great. But this will be the 3rd time in 5 years I'm having to re-start all over again. Once I finish counselling I'm usually okay and then about a year on I have a relapse because something happened and I haven't handled it very well.
I've felt so terrible since June. Since then, my anxiety has been so terrible to the point where there's something new every single day. And I'm sick to death of it. I just don't know how to cope with it any more. I can't be doing with another 5 years with this. I'm at university and obviously have more important things to worry about. The worst thing is i'm 18, going on 19 and you'd expect a teenager to be care free. But I never have been which hurts because I see all my friends doing these really cool things and I'm stuck at home worry not wanting to go out.
The latest thing is, I've had this dreaded cold for about 3 weeks and last night it got bad. I have this fear of my throat closing up so that I can't breath. It's silly but it petrifies me. My tonsils are swollen so I went to the doctors this morning. (I go every week with something new) And she said they're enlarged but nothing to worry about and it's not tonsillitis but it's just it feels like someone is constantly strangling me which is making me panic even more and I keep checking them every five minutes. There is plenty of room to breath but it just feels like I'm going to stop and it'll close completely when I'm asleep or something.
Reading that last paragraph back makes me realise how ridiculous I sound. I just don't know what to do with myself any more. I'm at breaking point with it. And I know, there's no point in going back the doctors considering I went today and if they looked again they'd probably say it was nothing. :weep:
I've felt so terrible since June. Since then, my anxiety has been so terrible to the point where there's something new every single day. And I'm sick to death of it. I just don't know how to cope with it any more. I can't be doing with another 5 years with this. I'm at university and obviously have more important things to worry about. The worst thing is i'm 18, going on 19 and you'd expect a teenager to be care free. But I never have been which hurts because I see all my friends doing these really cool things and I'm stuck at home worry not wanting to go out.
The latest thing is, I've had this dreaded cold for about 3 weeks and last night it got bad. I have this fear of my throat closing up so that I can't breath. It's silly but it petrifies me. My tonsils are swollen so I went to the doctors this morning. (I go every week with something new) And she said they're enlarged but nothing to worry about and it's not tonsillitis but it's just it feels like someone is constantly strangling me which is making me panic even more and I keep checking them every five minutes. There is plenty of room to breath but it just feels like I'm going to stop and it'll close completely when I'm asleep or something.
Reading that last paragraph back makes me realise how ridiculous I sound. I just don't know what to do with myself any more. I'm at breaking point with it. And I know, there's no point in going back the doctors considering I went today and if they looked again they'd probably say it was nothing. :weep: