EmmaR
07-02-15, 21:28
Hi there!
I'm new here and looking forward to looking around the site and finding out more about anxiety. From what I've read about it so far I'm not sure whether it is the source of my problems; the only symptom I'm aware of that matches my experience is intrusive thoughts - but I do have *a lot* of intrusive thoughts.
For most of my waking hours (and every night while I try to fall asleep) I am imagining the suffering and death of my loved ones, including their funerals (which nobody shows up to). Usually the suffering is from cruelty of others rather than illness; it's something about my family being made to feel hurt/humiliated/betrayed as well as physical pain that I seem to obsess about. The problem is that there clearly is a lot of cruelty in the world and anyone can be a victim, so even though I know it's pointless for me to think about it happening I can't seem to dismiss it since something horrible could easily happen.
The other kind of unwelcome thought I have is more irrational and it has a greater impact on other people. At work when I have a new task or even when I just receive an email I start to imagine what's going to happen after I respond, and it always ends in a complaint or disciplinary action etc. At best, these thoughts make me read through any email or letter I write many, many times before sending it, and at worst I become so convinced I'm going to do something wrong that I don't do anything at all, leading to a self-fulfilling prophecy! Luckily I'm pretty good at last-minute working so I've avoided any real problems so far but I'm obviously being unprofessional and as I'm starting a great new job soon I'd really like to get a grip on this if possible. Just to be clear this isn't a self-confidence issue, I like what I do and I'm a bit of a geek about it all so I know I can do the job well, but I can't seem to help being shaken by these thoughts.
I will have a good look around the site now to see what I can find out, but if you've managed to read this far I would be very grateful for any advice as to whether these thoughts could be due to anxiety despite not having any other symptoms (that I'm aware of). I feel like I should be able to snap out of all of this but I'm sick of trying and failing, so even if it isn't likely to be actual anxiety I would be grateful to hear about anything I might be able to try to help me control my thoughts.
Thank you very much for reading, it was actually quite cathartic just writing all of that down :D
I'm new here and looking forward to looking around the site and finding out more about anxiety. From what I've read about it so far I'm not sure whether it is the source of my problems; the only symptom I'm aware of that matches my experience is intrusive thoughts - but I do have *a lot* of intrusive thoughts.
For most of my waking hours (and every night while I try to fall asleep) I am imagining the suffering and death of my loved ones, including their funerals (which nobody shows up to). Usually the suffering is from cruelty of others rather than illness; it's something about my family being made to feel hurt/humiliated/betrayed as well as physical pain that I seem to obsess about. The problem is that there clearly is a lot of cruelty in the world and anyone can be a victim, so even though I know it's pointless for me to think about it happening I can't seem to dismiss it since something horrible could easily happen.
The other kind of unwelcome thought I have is more irrational and it has a greater impact on other people. At work when I have a new task or even when I just receive an email I start to imagine what's going to happen after I respond, and it always ends in a complaint or disciplinary action etc. At best, these thoughts make me read through any email or letter I write many, many times before sending it, and at worst I become so convinced I'm going to do something wrong that I don't do anything at all, leading to a self-fulfilling prophecy! Luckily I'm pretty good at last-minute working so I've avoided any real problems so far but I'm obviously being unprofessional and as I'm starting a great new job soon I'd really like to get a grip on this if possible. Just to be clear this isn't a self-confidence issue, I like what I do and I'm a bit of a geek about it all so I know I can do the job well, but I can't seem to help being shaken by these thoughts.
I will have a good look around the site now to see what I can find out, but if you've managed to read this far I would be very grateful for any advice as to whether these thoughts could be due to anxiety despite not having any other symptoms (that I'm aware of). I feel like I should be able to snap out of all of this but I'm sick of trying and failing, so even if it isn't likely to be actual anxiety I would be grateful to hear about anything I might be able to try to help me control my thoughts.
Thank you very much for reading, it was actually quite cathartic just writing all of that down :D