Neurotic Nick
25-09-14, 02:19
So as some of you may know ive been struggling with very severe agoraphobia for the past year. Made very little headway for most of the year, kept getting ahead a little and sliding back.
A few weeks ago i was in a dark place mostly because i could just not get over my severe anxiety from walking in my own damn neighborhood. It just really got to me that i couldnt even walk round the block. I considered getting heavier meds but decided to ask a friendly neighbor if she would walk with me on a daily basis. To my great joy and surprise she said yes and in the past few weeks weve made a lot of progress! Well its a lot to me, im sure other people would not be impressed my new found ability to walk down the street...
But shes on holiday atm and i was feeling a bit brave and tried to go to the supermarket but it ended in full blown panic, not fun. But again ive made progress and went out a grand total of three more times after that (i have my dog again and it needs walkies :) ) and even walked part of the same route to the supermarket the same day as this big panic.
So i guess im doing well right? But in all honesty i feel really hopeless. It feels like such a mountain i still need to climb and never seems to get any easier...and i cant help cursing the fact that im missing out on so much and that im so limited right now! There are so many things i want to do that are just not an option at the moment.
Ah well its one those days i guess. Just wanted to vent and have a virtual shoulder to cry on.
A few weeks ago i was in a dark place mostly because i could just not get over my severe anxiety from walking in my own damn neighborhood. It just really got to me that i couldnt even walk round the block. I considered getting heavier meds but decided to ask a friendly neighbor if she would walk with me on a daily basis. To my great joy and surprise she said yes and in the past few weeks weve made a lot of progress! Well its a lot to me, im sure other people would not be impressed my new found ability to walk down the street...
But shes on holiday atm and i was feeling a bit brave and tried to go to the supermarket but it ended in full blown panic, not fun. But again ive made progress and went out a grand total of three more times after that (i have my dog again and it needs walkies :) ) and even walked part of the same route to the supermarket the same day as this big panic.
So i guess im doing well right? But in all honesty i feel really hopeless. It feels like such a mountain i still need to climb and never seems to get any easier...and i cant help cursing the fact that im missing out on so much and that im so limited right now! There are so many things i want to do that are just not an option at the moment.
Ah well its one those days i guess. Just wanted to vent and have a virtual shoulder to cry on.