worried as not eating properly [Archive]

View Full Version : worried as not eating properly

Soph18

15-09-14, 22:16

hi everyone. So as some of you know I have moved to uni now. Moved in this weekend. The room and town is fab. Room mates understand of my condition as had an attack on my first night.

The only thing is that I'm not eating properly. As in Im not hungry at all and Im really shakey. I am not sleeping well either and not feeling too great about myself either. Im not socialising every well and it is horrible. I feel like im being boring and everyone is going to judge me.

I really not like it and I just feel like I shouldn't feel like this as Im making a fresh start and Im just going backwards :(

AlexandriaUK

15-09-14, 22:33

Please try to eat as being malnourished will increase your anxiety by loads, try not to worry too much as your anxiety when moving will be raised which will be quite normal.
Enjoy your time at uni it will fly by and will be great once you get used to being independent

Soph18

15-09-14, 22:35

thanks Alexandriauk. It is just so hard as it is the second night in and Im so scared and upset and I just don't feel like eating. x

AlexandriaUK

15-09-14, 22:40

Try some cereal or soup and remember your body is like a car no fuel and it want run properly x

Soph18

15-09-14, 22:42

I know. I have been having some sweets and crisps here and there but nothing proper. I just don't know what is wrong with me. Im really worried xx

AlexandriaUK

15-09-14, 22:52

That's what's wrong with you, you are worried and that in turn will upset your stomache which in turn creates more anxiety and as we all know that joins the circle so you need to break it by feeding your body and by excepting the fact that you feel anxious like most young people in new situations, anxiety is mostly a normal body response to the unknown

Sunflower2

15-09-14, 23:22

Just eat bits and pieces until you feel more comfortable I get the same in new places I just don't want to eat, which is bad! But don't worry in the short term it won't do any damage just try to slowly increase what you and eat more often. Get some fruit and nuts to graze on to get more nutrients. My very long eating problems thread actually has some very good advice from when I was barely eating. I still don't like big meals and still don't eat enough but I try to have snacks a lot just to get some more calories. Sure it's not great in the long term at all but better than nothing!

That's good you're settling in with your flate mates though :)

The anxiety won't magically go away, you've got to keep going with fighting this and not let up now!

Soph18

16-09-14, 00:27

Thank you both. Means a lot. I just spoke to my Resident Assistant and she is going to help me be more comfortable with myself and the building and try to get me out as not been out unless I have to be. I feel rather sick but that from not eating.

just to let you know I wont be on properly cuz I don't have internet till next week or till I talk to the helpzone to get a laptop.

Sorry if I have worried anyone. Im just really worried myself so don't help. x

Carnation

16-09-14, 00:45

Hi Sophie. Pleased you got there ok. Give it time to settle in and remember there are others there in the same position as you. The others are right, just keep snacking throughout the day. A chocolate bar here and there will not harm you and will help to keep you energized. See how you go through the week and try not to worry about everything, let it take it's natural course. Sending you a Hug. :hugs:

Oosh

16-09-14, 09:33

SOPHIEEEE !

I was getting a bit worried about you, you disappeared.

I feel better knowing youre at uni now, that explains it.

Do not worry Sophie, you are exactly where you should be right now.

You are here to build confidence and self esteem and learn what you need to learn. That means that on arrival, youre going to be low in confidence and self esteem and its going to be horrible.

What you do is you stay in there and allow yourself to change, to grow in confidence and change the way you feel about yourself and others.

You feel anxious, you feel boring and you carry on. You think of better ways to see yourself and all of this and you learn to cope, learn to enjoy, learn to like yourself, build belief in yourself and change yourself for the better forever.

Stay in there and youll slowly experience things that will change the way you feel.

When i started college feeling as low in confidence as you it wasnt until the end of the first year and going into the 2nd year that i started to change, feel more confident and enjoy myself. And that first year was hard.
I was avoiding things, feeling rubbish about myself and not fitting in and that really really bothered me.

But i started mixing a bit, listening in, contributing where i could. The next thing i was enjoying the others and that started to have a big impact on me. I stopped feeling so boring. I stopped worrying about not fitting in.
I began to learn new things about myself. I learned that the negative ways id learned to see myself over the years werent true,

In a second i could feel different, just by observing myself enjoying the others and laughing or thinking of something funny and having the confidence to say it and getting a laugh.
Then id go home feeling ten times more secure and confident in myself.

By the time i finished the second year i felt more secure and confident in myself than i had for many years and i knew i was going to miss the other people on the course. I was really sad the course ended.

So you hang in there and build your confidence from here Sophie.

Try and find at least one friend you feel you can trust and things will improve hugely.

Give yourself plenty of time.

Keep us updated.

Dont live on sweets and crisps. Its bad for anxiety for a start plus youre going to deteriorate if youre not getting any nutrients in your food. Soup, sandwiches, snack on nuts, plenty of water, keep eating !

Soph18

19-09-14, 01:29

thank you all. Means so so so much right now. I m really not in a great place right now. could do with someone talking to me tbh. Im much more jumpy now and I did have breakfast lunch and dinner today but was more snacky. I have my good days and my bad with food.

I really am stressing about everything. I really don't know if I can do this. xx

Carnation

19-09-14, 01:38

Just incase I miss you on the pms, want you to know that everyone here is thinking of you and behind you on this. You have to give it a chance there, still early days and you need time to adjust and settle. Just keep calm, think of us guys on here and you will be ok. x

Soph18

19-09-14, 01:51

thank you Carnation. Means a lot. Im just not feeling too great. I am sure I will get there. I just feel alone, and it is horrible. Im home alone most the time at night and I don't like being alone xx

Soph18

19-09-14, 02:23

thanks everlasting. I coumpletely know what you mean. It is horrible feeling lonely. Even with a crowd or group of people around you you just feel so alone. It is just I feel like no one will understand why I am the way I am without telling them and I don't want to.

Really stressed and feel like I cant cope anymore. So homesick too xx

Soph18

19-09-14, 02:39

everlasting

19-09-14, 02:48

uummm... there is a help zone I need to go too. I am getting worse aren't I? I don't like it. I feel like im the boring one. sorry for going on but im just not happy at all :'( I got an early start tomorrow as well. got to be up and out by 9:15 :'(

Oh bless you. You're not boring at all, this is what this forum is here for.

Going to that help zone might just be a good idea, 1000's of students feel lonely and homesick they might have some good advice.

Also, do your family know how you're feeling? It's not something that you should have to carry alone. A problem shared (Cliche alert).

Maybe have some warm milk and go to bed? And relax, whatever happens you won't feel like this forever, you'll be absolutely fine :)

Soph18

19-09-14, 02:52

The thing is I am boring. Im not going out with the block mates. Im not talking to people really. Im not fun to be around. Im just horrible. :( xxx

everlasting

19-09-14, 02:59

The thing is I am boring. Im not going out with the block mates. Im not talking to people really. Im not fun to be around. Im just horrible. :( xxx

What on earth makes you think that you're horrible? :ohmy: I bet nobody else thinks that about you.

Soph18

19-09-14, 03:01

im just a horrible person to be around. It is horrible. :( I feel like rubbish. It is horrible. :( xx

everlasting

19-09-14, 03:08

im just a horrible person to be around. It is horrible. :( I feel like rubbish. It is horrible. :( xx

You might be overthinking things because you're not eating properly, tired and homesick.

You're not horrible, you're going through a tough time. I know it's not always easy, but talking to people is the very best thing you can do right now.

Soph18

19-09-14, 03:11

honestly, I hate myself at the moment. It is bad isn't it? I just want to be me again but I cant. I don't like all this going on in my head. It is making me cry a lot and it is making me feel scared a lot of the time when I shouldn't even be scared. :'( I cant sleep and cant eat properly and miss my mom and my baby sister. I miss her smiles and cuddles. I miss hearing her voice :'( Im making myself upset this end :'(

Soph18

19-09-14, 03:23

everlasting

19-09-14, 03:27

No I need to do this for myself and my family. Upset or not upset.

Just need time to understand my anxiety and the triggers and sort it out with the helpzone. Just not feeling the strength to do so at the moment. I just want to be the old me again but that isn't possible. :'(

What is wrong with me? Why am I such a twit? :'(

See you have the right outlook on this, you need to get the help thats available.

You will get back to being yourself, you've literally just made a chance to your life which is exciting and brave, but naturally scary.

You are not a twit at all, 1000's of people would feel the exact way you feel.:)

Soph18

19-09-14, 03:33

everlasting

19-09-14, 03:41

no one here really understands me. It is so hard. Some people are judging me because I don't go out much. I cant help it. And specially on the nights. I hate walking in the dark. It scares me.

I feel slightly sick and I feel like crap on the inside as in my heart and head. :'( that is linked to the food though. Boo. Just need either shooting or need re-building. Need a new life. Or new start. :'(

Have you heard of http://www.7cupsoftea.com/ they can be very helpful.

You might feel completely different in a few days, people have no right to judge you for not enjoying the night life. I'm the same, I'm not a fan of going out like that. It's your own choice and you have to do what you want to do.

Soph18

19-09-14, 03:48

I will be fine I hope. I am going to try and sleep. Will be about 3 hrs sleep boo. Thank you for your help an support tonight everlasting. Means so so much right now. Im just not in he best of places in my head at the moment. You know what I mean?

Take care and I will keep you posted when I next get internet connection. Thanks again

everlasting

19-09-14, 03:52

Soph18

19-09-14, 03:56

there for being so understanding and noon judgemental. Your so kind and caring. I must try sleep now otherwise running on empty. Night xx

Sunflower2

19-09-14, 08:01

I hope you are feeling better this morning, things always look different in the morning.

I'll tell you what I did when I was at uni. You really are not alone in feeling like this!!

So I had a flat with a friend in my second year (2years ago now) and I think in total I spent 3 nights there in a row. I was alone until like 11pm every night because my flatmate was always out and I hated it. I was so lonely and scared all the time. I didn't even like going to my flat because the door was around the back! So one day I sat in my car crying because I was too scared to go in the front door. I felt trapped because I was too scared to go outside in the dark myself. I was too scared to do anything so most nights I'd end up driving myself back home, which was a 40 minute drive into the dark country roads rather than stay at the flat!! As you can probably guess I felt pretty terrible about myself, me and my flat mate fell out and are no longer friends and I wasted a LOT of money. I also didn't like going out drinking so was very boring I thought too.

Now you've already done better than me! You've stayed longer than I had in total :D maybe you don't like going out, not everyone does and after a few years it does get pretty boring! I'm sure there are other things that make you a really good friend to have. I get you're very kind and caring, and your glad mates will maybe feel like they can come have a nice cosy chat with you. Or maybe they just aren't suited to you. But there are people that are. Don't give up Sophie I know this seems so hard but as we grow we learn that being the way we are is exactly how we should be. I am me and I am proud. I don't care what people think of me. Maybe they don't like it but as long as I like me then why does it matter?

Good luck with your day today :)

Oosh

19-09-14, 20:45

Kimberley's right Sophie. Be yourself. There's nothing bad or horrible about what you are. You're a young girl with anxiety at uni what's so bad about that. Many many many people struggle through uni. My ex dropped out.

It wouldn't be such a bad thing to tell them you suffer from anxiety. Make something up. Say you were attacked in your past. (Don't go into detail about the truth)
Say you suffer from panic stacks now so sorry for being so boring. They'll reassure you.

It's better to be honest so people can see you're behaviour isn't because you just don't like them. Tell them you find it hard but you're trying and that you'll be a bit more outgoing as your confidence builds back up.

It's doing it like this that forces you to change, adapt, learn, improve Sophie.

Keep going. Keep talking to us here. When you finish uni you will be so happy you went on this journey and learned everything you learned.

There's so much time you may end uni with new mates. I did and I started it terrified and socially anxious. All the changes happened ON the course.
Facing the problems and dealing with them.

Hang in there Sophie !

Soph18

22-09-14, 20:41

thank you both. Means so so much. I have had such a crap few days. I have cried so so much. I feel so so low and I feel isolated but that is my fault. I wish I wouldn't be like this. I am getting help from my personal tutor she said that if i go into panic I can leave. :(

Thank you all so so much for being here for me. You have all been so helpful and I have been in such a bad place but none of you have quit on me. That makes me feel so special. So thank you xx

Carnation

23-09-14, 01:57

Sorry I missed you on the PM's. Just wanted to say to you that you are doing brilliantly. You are trying and you should be proud of that!!:)

Oosh

23-09-14, 13:28

Get these tricky early days out of the way Soph. Itll get better.

Can you see any groups you`d like to join, to get you out of the house and mixing a bit more ?

What are your interests ?

Soph18

23-09-14, 17:22

well I love poetry and that is it really. It is so hard right now. Like yesterday I cried pretty much all day. IT was so horrible I was drained all day.

Thank you everyone for your kind words. They have meant a great deal to me.

Do you think I can do this? Do you think Im strong enough? xx

Oosh

23-09-14, 17:46

SURELY they have a poetry club/group or something there ? Ask your tutor. Ask her where you can get a list of groups and clubs you could take part in to help make friends and socialise.

You're looking for another Sophie to hang out with.

One mate and the whole experience will change for you.

You're not alone in finding it hard. Dont think you're the only one.

Don't start beating yourself up. The start is the hardest bit. You're supposed to feel rubbish now. But look at you ! You've done it ! You've passed your exams and are DOING IT at uni ! That takes a MASSIVE amount of balls Sophie !

Things will get better from here. You now develop coping strategies and try to make the experience better for yourself. One friend will go a massive way to doing that. So put yourself where the other students are who feel like you.
Look for them when you're out and about. Bit shy, bit low in confidence, on their own, make them your new best mate. Make THEIR uni experience better.

I'd also go see uni student support services. Tell them how you feel and ask for help getting more involved with students who feel like you and just help in general. By the time you finish uni Sophie you'll be an expert on it all.

This is just the start Sophie. Don't you worry !
You make it better from here ! :yahoo:

Soph18

23-09-14, 17:52

thank you means a lot. I went to the drop in for counselling today and she said it wouold be best for me to go because im an emotional wreck at the moment :( I cry way too much. IT is horrible.

I keep not going out and staying in and locking myself away. I cant help it. My anxiety is so bad now im here. I just get so jumpy over everything. One single bang and im shook up. Im so bad xx

Oosh

23-09-14, 18:01

Drop in for counselling is a BRILLIANT idea. Well done. Your building a support network there, that's great.

I know how you feel. I'd be the same. I don't blame you for hiding away. I think most shy people starting uni would be the same. If you're low in confidence and on your own it's terrifying.

You will feel so much better though if you see yourself mixing a bit over the time you spend at uni.

Sit with them and have a cuppa at a time of day you feel comfortable with. Anything so you feel better that you're not cutting yourself off completely. You'll end up liking some of them and maybe wanting to be around them.

But just keep at it. Even if all you do is finish uni with your quals that's an amazing achievement. Anything social you achieve can be a bonus.

Soph18

23-09-14, 21:50

I refuse to give up. I will stay and get m degree. It took so much to get here. Im not going to throw it down the drain.

Thank you for your support. Im just sorry for being a pain. xx

---------- Post added at 21:50 ---------- Previous post was at 18:05 ----------

oh my gosh. All I need I cant breath properly and aching all over and shaking. Can anyone help? xxx

Soph18

27-09-14, 15:52

MY life and head right now are all over the place. I cant cope right now. I just want to cry. Im not eating properly Im just eating junk food. :'(

Oosh

27-09-14, 16:15

Why are you not eating properly ? Find a shop and pick up some bread, salad and stuff at least.

What would you eat at home ? Buy that.

lalouba

27-09-14, 16:49

How are you feeling now, Soph? x