Fallen off the wagon of HA

[3tikes]

I've been doing really well of late, been back to my usual happy self until last night then BAM...... Felt a lump on my tongue right at the back, got the mirror out and could just about see it and a couple of others. They are red!! Of course I did what I tell everyone else not to do and googled it. Silly thing to do as now I've convinced myself I gave oral cancer!!!!!
I've had a croaky through for about 4wks which I put down to post nasal drip, bleeding gums for ages etc.
Usually I can rationalise but not this time. I have a docs appt for tomorrow.
Is it normal to have lumps? I'm pretty sure when I brushed my teeth this morning it was bleeding.

[hanshan]

I just felt, and I've got a couple of lumps in my tongue at the back on one side. I seriously doubt that it's cancer and I assure you I'll have forgotten about it almost as soon as I finish this post.

[swgrl09]

There are tons of bumps and lumps in our mouths that are normal. I get this fear a LOT and just had a scare myself. I'm sure it's normal and your doc will be able to reassure you quickly.

[3tikes]

Thanks to you both for your replies.
I had never thought about it before and I've had the odd mouth ulcer from time to time.
There isn't any pain but I'm just aware of one of them being there as it's more pronounced.
I'm much better about it now, but still secretly worrying slightly.

[Mr Mannering]

I fall off the wagon once or twice a month at the moment and it lasts 1 hour to 3 days..... I try to tell myself that it all adds to making you stronger for the next bout.... By my calculations when I die or am dying I should be sooo prepared I'll be whistling and singing all the way to heaven.... if there is one!

[HotTea]

I have bumps and lumps too hun :)
Try not to worry. I'm having a wobble too ATM. I have a pain in my left breast. We'll not in, on the outside, iv had its for years and years, it's a muscle thing, I guess pulled it or tore it and it never healed because I can feel it tear or pull again once every few months. I check my boobs constantly, never any changes or bumps or lumps. Just this muscle pain, yet every time it comes back I worry myself to death (haha) that I have breast cancer. Still trying to work up the courage to go to the GP, but I know when I do I will start will the cycle or panic attacks etc. gah!

[luc]

I fall of the wagon when I have something coming up like a holiday or an event. For example, today I have been interviewing at work so this morning I started to check a scab and check the sink for blood when brushing teeth. There was blood - there always is. My question is (and I would love to hear peoples thoughts) what is it that makes us want to sabotage events? What in our subconscious tells us to find something in the lead up to important happenings. I am going on holiday at the weekend and doing well at the moment but things will try to creep in or is it that something in my phsycy invites them in in order to spoil things. Anyone?
3 tikes the doctor will put your mind at rest tomorrow and because you are in a good place you will accept it and put it down to another challenge to make you stronger.

[luc]

I Know it's a personal question I am asking, but does anybody else have any thoughts on WHY consciously or subconsciously we do this to ourselves.

[Trueman]

I think it's a habit of self preservation brought on by personal experience luc. And we slip back into it subconsciously or not because we want to be in control. If faced with something we haven't a sense of control over, perhaps we seek an explanation/opt for a behaviour, a way of controlling it. But this causes more anxiety because the coping mechanisms we have learned to use are not always the best ones for us?

Perhaps we have to say hey ho, what will be will be.. Easier said than done though!

[3tikes]

Trueman, I think you've hit the nail on the head. I had a blip yesterday over a mouth ulcer and a cough which I've had for 5wks. Suddenly I felt helpless because it's something beyond my control and that sends me down the slippery slope of not being rational and thinking the worst. It's a horrible feeling isn't it and a trait which I suspect will always be a part of me.

[Trueman]

It's the worst place to be in when you can't rationalise and feel helpless in any situation. It becomes so overwhelming and you become so self absorbed. It's a good thing to put your hands up and say hey I'm over here struggling a little. Just as difficult - is that often we know what we are doing - but can't seem to get a grip on it. I guess we have to tell ourselves that this moment will pass.. Maybe not today but maybe tomorrow. In the meantime, you can get yourself checked. That is a rational response. Tell yourself you are responding rationally in that respect and then box away the other thoughts.

It's difficult I know. Each day is a challenge.

[3tikes]

Equally for me it's the fear of the unknown, for some reason I convince my self that I'm predisposed of having a terminal condition. I'm off to the docs this morning infact and I'm often just of scared of what they might find!!!! Absolutely ridiculous I know. I guess our minds work in different ways.

[Trueman]

Let us know how you get on... Either way. More worries or not :)

[luc]

Thanks Trueman. - wise words. Not sure I understand the self preservation stuff:doh: It is right that I think everyone's happiness is in my control. A trait of HA I believe is self centredness however as an individual I believe I have a naturally altruistic personality. So to fight back at the self obsessed trait of HA I go out of my way to help others. This gives me a real buzz. In the semi calm place I am at now my head has space for others and my real personality can come through. Does that make any sense. I wish I was as succinct as others ha!