Tanner40
30-01-14, 12:16
Anxiety is a Dragon, as a friend of ours says. Anxiety is a thief, as it tries to steal our lives. Anxiety is a Trickster, always pulling pranks.
Anxiety for me, this morning, is a Trickster. It tries to make me believe things that aren't true. Last night, it tried to make me believe that it was time to get up, but it was only 2:30AM. It tried to pull the same trick on me at 5:30AM. It made me angry and it made me frustrated, the Trickster.
The Trickster made me try to believe that I was having a heart attack this morning, by tightening my chest muscles, making me breathe fast, and by making my arms ache. I told the Trickster that I knew what it was up to and the feeling began to subside.
Then the very nerve, the Trickster tried to make me afraid of my own rational thoughts. Only anxiety huh, well, then you will just have the monster of all anxiety attacks, the Trickster said. I was afraid that the anxiety attack would come, and that's when I realized that I could handle the Trickster. I would not be afraid. After all, is there any reason to be afraid of myself?
I am the Trickster! I am the one that allows myself to be afraid. It's like the Dragon that needs to be put back in the deep cavern. The trickster needs to go back into the deep recesses of my mind where I can talk to him, but he can't talk back to me.
I imagine that it's a bit like having a split personality: the rational side of my brain warring with the irrational side of my brain. More often than not, my rational side wins. It is still annoying to have to deal with the Trickster on a daily basis but that is my life. I get tired of being afraid. I get tired of feeling bad. I just get tired.
But I'm going to keep right on going. The Trickster is not going to beat me, for how can I beat myself?
Anxiety for me, this morning, is a Trickster. It tries to make me believe things that aren't true. Last night, it tried to make me believe that it was time to get up, but it was only 2:30AM. It tried to pull the same trick on me at 5:30AM. It made me angry and it made me frustrated, the Trickster.
The Trickster made me try to believe that I was having a heart attack this morning, by tightening my chest muscles, making me breathe fast, and by making my arms ache. I told the Trickster that I knew what it was up to and the feeling began to subside.
Then the very nerve, the Trickster tried to make me afraid of my own rational thoughts. Only anxiety huh, well, then you will just have the monster of all anxiety attacks, the Trickster said. I was afraid that the anxiety attack would come, and that's when I realized that I could handle the Trickster. I would not be afraid. After all, is there any reason to be afraid of myself?
I am the Trickster! I am the one that allows myself to be afraid. It's like the Dragon that needs to be put back in the deep cavern. The trickster needs to go back into the deep recesses of my mind where I can talk to him, but he can't talk back to me.
I imagine that it's a bit like having a split personality: the rational side of my brain warring with the irrational side of my brain. More often than not, my rational side wins. It is still annoying to have to deal with the Trickster on a daily basis but that is my life. I get tired of being afraid. I get tired of feeling bad. I just get tired.
But I'm going to keep right on going. The Trickster is not going to beat me, for how can I beat myself?